why I have to feel negative?

People here kept asking me why I have been so negative toward myself? Its pathetic and I know it, I can't be optimistic if I dont feel that I am in a good state.

I have been treated like a commoner in school these days. Which sad to say I hate it, people might think that I am too boastful by trying to explain that I need a "royalty" treatment. NO, I am not boastful or try to be boastful. Recent years, teachers treated me so well, now they kinda abandoned me. Let me give or tell u an example, which is so obvious.

I was selected to represent school in Majlis Tilawah Quran Public Speaking competition since I was form one. The other day, my beloved ustazah told me that this year, I will be representing school again. However, now, they told me (pn musalmah, azlina and ustazah herself), that they have to consider between me and another girl from form 2 Amal just because, the girls mom will be translating the BM text into BI (english). I am so frustrated...!!!

The competition will be on the 6th March which means next week, but frankly speaking I havent started to memorize the text since I DONT HAVE IT!! I tried to find puan azlina whom is holding the text, but I failed. This make things worst. When I tried to represent something, bad thing will happen, this year sucks like cow's ass.

And, today, I went to school, well I never skip school this month, poorly, my gf was not here, absent, and also I was damn boring. No one to joke with, no one actually cared about me. Chiam, on the other hand was sick in a sudden which means that she will be off from school tomorrow, HOW GREAT! T_T

AH!! Hate what I have been through lately. Tension, sad, havoc's life, full of homeworks, third-class mentality teachers, some nerd friends and also a messy house. I just need a very long holiday right away, and wish to be a new person (which is kinda hard)...

Be a Fan