Stiffness

I am now on stiffness. I feel a total dumbness inside my body, and a major numbness on my limbs. I can't move. I can't think. I can't decide. The negativity charges are around, all over me, I could not stop of thinking I will soon flunk.

At 11 AM, today, I was supposedly to be in having an interview in Midvalley. Too bad, I didn't have the mood to go to Midvalley since my parents are here at home. I pity them for they have to re-tidying the house, which is in a terrible mess after they left for the past 2 months. I have to help them. Tiring is the only word I must say.

Discussing about going to do part time job is a no-easy task when it comes to parents. My parents seem to be a bit blurred out about having to work at Midvalley as they said it's too far for me, and it will be too tiring for me. And a friend, asked me again whether my decision will be worthwhile. I don't know. Too many considerations have to be considered, and take into discussion. I can't make up my mind. I don't know what to wear. I am now dumb.

If we plan something, a list has to be made

Sleep. A word that I must be doing right now. Why am I still not in bed? Why am I still stuck on this chair, like nothing else to do, typing silently so that I won't be interrupting my dearest mak long whom is keenly sleeping in the living room? Why?

The thing I miss the most during late at night, is the chat hours with Azeem, even though he did not entertain me, even though he didn't utter a word, even though all he did was that silent mode I hated the most. But who is he, I am asking again. Apparently, he is now just a mere friend, I used to had, engraving slowly into the memory that will not last.

After SPM is over, I didn't quite get enough rest. Class party was a mess, well a bit. The, the looking for a job spree with my best buddy Mims at Midvalley for two days was exhausting and not to mention thinking of going to Kajang to bank in some money. My mind is full of blowing disgust. Blowing mishaps and troubles. Peace came temporary and I just wish peace is here once more. Because I need peace to write, peace to do my art pieces.

The manager at Dome, told me I looked presentable, and wondering why I couldn't work on Saturday and Sundays. I told him, that those weekends are the days my family and I would have some quality times together, and that it would be sad if I wasn't around. He understands, and gave me the office number, just in case I want to work at DOME for sure. At least, having some discussions with my family would be the first thing I need to do.

I also got the job at Robinson and Secret Recipe. But I really hope MPH could contact me soon enough and Metrojaya along the way. I didn't want to work at Robinson at first since it was far, and I don't think I suit it there. But, after underwent the interview, I started to change my mind. However, considering that how hard for me to reach there punctually at 9 am gives me a sense of fear. Could I be punctual?? I am afraid I can't.

Last time, I really urging for SPM to end, now I feel like really sad and exhausted. I really want to be independent, find my own money and earn experience, finding new acquaintances and having to breath in a new atmosphere, but then again, I feel weak deep inside. I feel a lost of confidence and lost of courage in a sudden. I just don't know why.

Mom and Dad will be home on Christmas Eve, and I can't wait to go to driving school, get my license and whoosh driving my dad's car. I just hope it will go well, since I am really bad at handling mechanical stuff and practical. Whatever it is, I know I am an underage, parents are my guardians and no way I can do all the things I wanted in my own way. So, better seek for their advice first right?

Money and Its Importance

Whoever tells you that these can be slap on the face:

a) money can't buy happiness
b) money can't bring longevity
c) money will make you suffer
d) money will make you forget who you are

Money....although are just made out of merely paper, or chemically-instructed paper, are VERY important to creatures namely humans. Cows, goats, ducks, chickens or even those wild animals you know will never need money. Why? Is the question, and the answer is because they never know what is money all about, right?

You can even describe me as mata duitan for instance. But yet, I cannot SURVIVE with out money. Money and family can be one. And that what make me alive. Sounds pathetic isn't it? Yes, it may sounds pathetic. SO what? Don't tell me, you readers do not wish to have those expensive goodies that you see somewhere near Pavillion or even closer the megamall near your town? How bout the lavish handbags, lavish shoes.....? IPhone, the new nokia phone, Xbox, dont they make you drool?

Money can always bring humans happiness. True, for now, since, happiness nowadays can only be granted by having spectacular holidays, spectacular shopping sprees, wonderful meals and also a beautiful health ahead. If money weren't exist, how can we achieve these things that could lead us to crave the big-happy smile?

"Those who said money can't buy happiness, definitely do not know where to shop"
by Blair Wardolf in Gossip Girl.

Now back to the story. Money is a good tool for those who are suffering from chronic diseases, just name the diseases, cancer, bronchitis, nervous breakdown, and anything. How can those sick people or the family of the sick persons pay for the cure treatment if there is no money in hand or in the bank account? Oh my, it will be so hard to pay for the surgery if thousands of dollars are not with us right?

Plus, for those who wish to start a family, also, need money. Money!Money! Why are you so important? Like nowadays, girls will only search for men with money, and vice versa. The scenario is not like in the old days, where young women sat at home, doing house chores, in the meantime waiting for the family to plan their wedding with unknowns men whom they think suit their daughters. Right now, in Malaysia for instance, is not a lie, when the hantaran and mas kahwin, or some said DOWRY can reach up to certain ten thousands ringgit. Now, again money play it roles. After marriage, came the honeymoon part then the having children time. Not to mention, to raise a child either it be a girl or a boy in the capital city can be really really expensive. Diapers, the milks, clothes, toys, anything needs money to be rolling.

Lastly, money is very significant to me too. As time passes, I grew up, and become extremely urging for money. I do not regret for being born in a simple average family where money is not so easy to be earned from parents, but, I know when I want money, I need to work for it. But, always, people questioned about me going to find a job! Why!!!

Am I an alien?

I am a human and an alien-NOT. Is just that again and again I feel so far from being a normal girl, a human I might say.

Forget about the damn crap, what I am going to blab about is actually on my regrets for the class-party yesterday. If you guys, my ex-classmates could read this post, I will be glad. I wanna say sorry for my bad attitudes. The arrogant, smug-up person. If you guys think I am arrogant, smugger or even hidung tinggi, I'll accept it wholly, and won't fight back because You guys are right after all.

Yesterday, my ex-classmates the 5 amanah had this reunion-so-called class party at Midvalley. To be frank, I hate Midvalley. I think the humongous building is irrelevant. So many shops yet tire people. And the things sold, HOLY COW, expensive. Ingat semua orang kaya ka?

Anyhow, I am sorry for acting like a jerk. Estranging myself from the troop. We're supposed to sit together, eat together, laugh together, but somehow, I isolated myself from some of you. Sorry again. Is just that, after so many years, I had failed to get along with you guys. Why is the word popping inside my head. And, too bad the answer is still the same:

"I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO MINGLE WITH YOU GUYS"

So....I apologize. Deep inside my heart, I love all of my ex-classmates, being the naughtiest 5 Amanah as how described by Puan Thava was a memorable experience. I will always keep the memories in my pocket. If someday one of you met me, and do not wish to greet me, it's okay, because I realised, I do not deserve a "hi" from you. Am I an alien? Yes, I am, among all of you I am an alien after all....

Tomorrow, a heaven:)

How do you do my precious readers?

I have been a quite-mute blogger lately, due to the life I currently pursuing. To make it clear, mom and dad are still in Mekah, and will only return to my hug next week, on Christmas' Eve. I can't wait!! I miss them very muchoo.

Yes, after so many whines here and there, about how I hated my school years in Kajang Utama, finally the end is here. The end will be tomorrow. I don't know whether I am able to see the world tomorrow, so I better say INSYAALLAH.

InsyaAllah, I will be in school tomorrow. Stepping over the gate's boundary at 12 p.m to send my borrowed school textbooks. I had arranged them neatly just now, take the last smell of it, feel their covers for the last time. And, woosh...of they go tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a heaven because it will be my last day of Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM). It will be my Agricultural Science Paper, and I hope I can do it will all my might. I just want to get A's in all the studies I take. Just A's....

Ah...time passed like lightning isn't it? Tomorrow, at 4 p.m, I will be a no-schooler any longer. It's time to be an adult, live like an adult and act like one. There are so many plans popping inside my head. I can't make the decision now. haha:)

ALAS. All I can say, there are so many-many memories, sad and happy, up and down, relieves and frustration in the school. Behind the walls, lie thousands smiles and sorrows. I will miss the teachers, Puan Thava, Puan Fozida, Cikgu Dzul, and all...Love ya guys:)

Breathing

Yes, I am back. But for temporary mean. I am still in the examination swing. Still on, and I got 2 more papers to deal with. It has been a tiring journey. And the bad news is that, I did pretty bad in the papers which I usually did well.

Now, what's left is the blessing from Allah ALMIGHTY. I am really hoping for his blessing for my efforts. You see, I did realized I didn't put as much effort to sustain what I had and this is might be the repercussion that I have to bear.

Mom and dad are away far away in Mekah performing their compulsory Hajj. I know they're praying for me there, and I really hope I get the blessing from them as well.

I had my Physics paper just now at school. Paper 3, the practical was awesomely easy, I guarantee there will be thousands who will get A++ this time, and so, the competition for the scholarship therefore tighten. What a luck ...

I had discussed on the Question about designing a thermos flask with my dear friend in Penang. Badly, I think he won, and I am lost. How can he be so ingenious. Well, it is his luck....I will lost my ten marks in that, I supposed.

For account, I must say that I passed. It was the most horrible event I attended so far in the dearly hall of SMK Kajang Utama. All in all, I despise accounting....as much as I used to love it. LCCI CERTIFICATE is now a dream untrue. Poor me...and serve me right for being arrogant too.