Seriously people, why do I have to be weak and pathetic? Yes. I might have grown, in terms of physical, but in terms of mindset, what a childish old rubbish. I tend to feel annoyed of myself. I tend to have difficulties to smile. I cried, until eyes swell, and yet nobody cares don't they?
Yesterday, I was playing truant from dear old college. Not like I would be there for another week, and not like I will sit for the semester II exam like others would. I feel shattered as I sat back, alone, reminiscing the first reason I went to that college. For what? Is it just for the sake of knowledge, as preparatory program to medical school? or just the sake of meeting a friend I would really like to meet. Of course, I did forced my parents to send me there and it involved a lot of persuading and crying and begging, and do I have to brag out more of the past? NO...
I was having a problem with my Internet connection, and yesterday I knew my friends at college would send message or post something on the wall of facebook. I really addicted to them! Today would be the very last day, I will be spending in that very college. I feel so dull, and unhappy, sad, and a lot more. Yesterday, I tried to persuade mom. "MOM please, let me go to Russia, Please!!" Mom on the other hand, could not even a single chance change her mind. She told me how childish I am, how immature I am, and how boastful I am towards Russia. She told me that I could not survive, that I am more like someone who cant be independent. Argh. That's hurt. And yes, I don't know. I don't know what to do. No one close to me really support what I am trying to show them. They only see the dark sides. Shoot! Sometimes its better to die early....
Seriously, I need a remedy. A remedy that could make me happy again. I hate the fact that, I just went to the college for the sake of going there, get some knowledge for another foundation in UiTM? What the heck? Mom also told me that if I didn't get the required results needed like a 4 flat she would definitely jot President College as a college of nothing but a waste. Again, a failure. Shoot!
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