Worries

This is bad. I have this bad sense in alertness and being careful at things. My carelessness is my biggest weakness. And if I continue being this careless, being so bad at handling things, how am I going to be a competent doctor in the future?

I have this big regret already after filling up those agreements papers from MARA. They gave me a guide book on how to fill them properly, but I don't know what got into me that I misread those guides. In the end, everything turned spoiled. Many mistakes have I made on every cover of the agreement booklet. I needed to cross the mistakes out and both guarantors and I have to put our initial as to mark the mistakes. It's bizarre how I made those silly mistakes continuously for 5 same booklets. I was so careless.

My mom was furious to know how I lost focus on filling those IMPORTANT agreement booklets. Those are my future. MARA is a tedious matter. It is up to them now whether or not to accept those agreements. I have give them such bad impression as one future medical student now. It's the biggest fear I have right now knowing how bad the agreements look. 

House bought a smiley balloon to erase his worries. 

Mom said she should have watch over me while filling those agreements. She as a lawyer had always deal with such documents and it's weird how I, as her daughter couldn't even fill them nicely. Since that moment, mom has always been doubting the fact that I wanna do medicine. Everyday mom will give me a peace of advice to be extra careful, to be focus, to be alert and to be wise. As a medical student, mistakes may be my greatest teachers to guide me to be better, as I can learn from them. However, if one day I were a doctor, doing many mistakes could lead to mishap among my patients as well as the whole hospital community. And I do not want to be another incompetent doctor. Of course NOT.

Now all the worries accumulating inside the head. Worried that MARA might reject me, worried that things would be burdening my parents all over again and I just hate going to and fro burdening people and all the I am the one who should face the blame. Repercussion for being so careless over such important and crucial matters. 

In the end, I need to stay positive. Worries are always humans most useless imaginations. Period.

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