20 years of life

I am not yet 20 but will be in another 6 months. 

Being 20 denotes the disappearance of the word teen. It denotes another phase of life called adulthood.

Many people claimed that I am more matured than my age.

But deep inside, I am a kid, who sometimes is too naive of things happening around me.

In another 5 years, InsyaAllah, I will embrace the working life as a doctor. It's something that my heart says what I should be. 

And being at a hospital is not always fun. I am aware of the great possibilities of me to get scolded by the senior doctors, to get mocked, to get insulted and everything harsh that would pressurize this head. 

Yesterday, I had hospital attachment with the ENT department at KLE Hospital right here. 

For a newbie, everything looks exciting....but to work, to apply the knowledge and skill while surgery is another thing which sometimes makes me worry. Apparently, worrying is a waste of time. I, We, You should 

Also, apart from work, there's another phase of being 20 which is marriage. 

Of course, I won't be settling down and be somebody's wife right now or at precisely 20 of age, but it's a kickstart actually to really find someone who can be a soulmate for life. 

Then the question tickled: Is there any man out there who can suits or compliment me? I doubt, sometimes. :P

So marrying is something I think it can be queued and place at the bottom of my priority. The most essential aspect now is trying my best to be as most perfect daughter towards my beloved parents. Can't imagine one day, I would be freed from their responsibility and leave home to start a new family. Could you?

I have been thinking a lot these days. Sometimes I am lost. And so I hope this year, will turn out good. Allah is the only entity that can give me strength for all these. amin.

When you learning strategy FAILS

assalamualaikum everybody.

Tau tak yang saya langsung tak boleh jawab exam pagi tadi. 

AND saya langsung tak tau mana silap saya...

BACA, ULANGKAJI, tapi tak masuk....

Well, I love the Nervous Block because I feel like a neurologist. But now, I think it's impossible for me to actually be in line for the next neurologist like Prof Jafri Malin Abdullah of USM. 

Just that, this morning was terrifying. Knowing that my knowledge is saturated but the brain failed to memorize or recall most of the important aspects that I have to know for this subject, was scary....I mean it is still scary now. 

We have this book called Unlimited Paradigm, a compilation of various questions usually being asked for this block courtesy of the recent students of USM Kubang Kerian. Unfortunately, due to my ego, I haven't touch the book thoroughly, just had a glance look and tell myself that I don't need it as a reference. 

But, Allah wants to show his way to me this morning, whereby I was fully blacked out on questions like nerve tracts and I think I am getting a 'chicken egg' for biochemistry. Sedihhhhhnyaa....! I feel so dumb that I would cry out tears. 

End block is super tiring, super worrisome, super terrifying and exhausting. I mean this is medical school that I always longing to come right? What else should I expect? *Clap, Clap, Clap* Because my life will go like turbulent after this. Thus, I really need a new strategy to overcome this.

>>p/s: New block on Homeopathic System is gonna start this Monday for 2 weeks. Oh...how hectic, and community placement was too boring for me. Emm. Any ideas how to instill my empathy towards those who are unlucky???<<

My3S is this?

Just Finished doing the survey T.T

This is not any chart, this is my soft skilled chart which has been generated by the MOHE. The red one is the critical skill which I lack in. And it's business. It's true that I am not any near to have this great business mind even though I always like to watch Donald Trump in the Apprentice 3 years back. LOL.

The problem is, if I lack in this skill how am I supposed to proliferate the assets I have got. Dang it!....AND I must tell you, this is not good for the Malaysians production. Sad with no reason now. HAHA.

Wordmore Wednesday.

In one moment, you seems to have no reason to live. Because your only reason is to die peacefully, and living is just a temporary stop over.

Usaha & Exam

Assalamualaikum peeps:)

There are time when I sigh and sigh for wanting so much to run for my dream that I have to leave my precious home. You can consider me as having a homesick. And homesick referred to the longing to spend time with the precious family members, especially my parents, to see how my siblings look like, to talk more to them, to see how my cousins are doing, my precious aunties and uncles and the nephews and cute nieces I have. 

The reason why I don't wanna return to Malaysia for this upcoming Chinese New Year or the exam break on the late February, is because I wanna convince myself that I can live for almost a year abroad and alone. It feels wonderful to know how we can be independent. I also wanna be truly focus on my studies. And yes, you can call me nerdy or whatever. 

Nak kumpul duit pi Shimla sebenarnya. ANYONE IN?

People might say that our results of examinations are already being planned or made by Allah. If that the case, why need studying so hard? Why so serious? We can just be a nobody, and just live without the need of getting a job or the pay because we ended up saying everything has been planned by He the All Mighty. Then, what's the purpose of life, if we just go by the wind. Or in Bahasa, we called it as ikut je haluan lalang, ikut je ke mana angin tu tiup.

But Allah does said, that TAWAKAL LAH KAMU APABILA KAMU TELAH BERUSAHA. It clearly means that we need to do something, do anything as long as it is morally, to achieve what we want, to get the best out of the best. And the most important part is that, Hamizah ( my group Naqibah) told me that, what exactly Allah sees in us is the efforts we made up through. All the obstacles that we went through that count not the final result of our exams and all. 

So, here comes the eye opener. Before this, I always blame Allah for what I have been through. The complicated pathways to reach medical school. The inability to score great marks at Asasi and the fact that I didn't get a place for medicine at Malaysian's University. In the end, with unexpectation, Allah the Great, gives me one better opportunity to come here, to Belgaum, an offshore USM Medical Campus. Thus, I get two opportunities, to experience other people's culture and also to be trained as a doctor :p 

And life as a medical student sucks...a lot I mean. But it's so fascinating to learn about the human's body parts. Every little detail about it is so beautiful and delicate. It teaches me how Allah has made it all perfectly. 

>>p/s: Hence, I now would contemplate more on the importance of efforts made than how the results gonna be. Because everything happens because of reasons, and some are those can only be explained by the Creator. <<

Sejuk is bad actually

Angan-angan zaman kanak-kanak:

Bestnya pergi negara ada salji cam NZ ke, UK ke, US ke, ada salji...boleh buat snowman, baling-baling bebola salji macam Winter Sonata....bestnya kalau sejuk...Malaysia panas sgt!

bestnyeeww!

-Well, those sentences up there are common statement made by US, ME, YOU and I. Malaysia is hot, no doubt. And being in somewhere chilly is good and more comfy. But if it's too chilling then arise another problem.

-Belgaum has reach its peak of winter. No snow of course, but wow, this is super cold. I can presume that it is now 16 degree celcius, which only air conditioner can give such temperature in Malaysia. Ahaks :D

-First, it has been a lot of fun being in this cold weather. However, lately, it has become so cold, that I can't write because my hands feel so cold and my nose when dry and blocked with the dried midst of air. My nose hurts a lot. Such an unpleasant feeling. 

-Then, with this very chilly weather, many of my colleagues went sick. Thankfully, all of them have recovered. Prof KJ always asked us to wear proper clothes, and wrap our neck with mafela and such to keep it warm enough, to eat right and etc. 

-More cold, more tendency to go hungry. Plus, with the piling up works on the desks, sure the stomach will growl more for food. Thus people eat more, but lack exercising because the weather is so cold!....

Haha. So kids, if you are planning to study here in BELGAUM, please do bring extra warm clothing. Jackets, mafela, and stuff so that you will feel a lot better. Just that the weather here is alternate. The winter is on and off. 

>>nak masuk tahun baru dah. here comes 2012. and makin dekat masa mati kita kan? so better be prepared<<

-

sorry that I am not yet a doctor

Dia menangis. What should I do? I need a miracle, so that she feels better.

Dia menangis lagi. And she has gotten worse. The rashes they grew a lot more. Now she can't walk properly.

The blisters gone watery. And it troublesome her. She can't attend lectures, it has been a week. Been to see the dermatologist twice but nothing works.

And it is worst, when I can't do absolutely nothing to comfort her. She cries, and I sit here....

Ya Allah! Please save my friend. Let her regain her health.