The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Sunday, 4 April 2010

Expected Too Much, Gaining A Little

Hello world. It feels so good to be awaken by the sound of melodious azan, addressing the Muslimin and the Muslimat to perform the Subuh obligation. And, every time after the Subuh prayer, one would be forbidden to go back to sleep. But, who really get the hidden message behind the "don't"? Do you? Well, as for me, I was told that those who tend to return to sleep would definitely get it hard for the rezeki or in the Malays people would say "mahal rezeki nanti". 

Humans including you and me, both have this one habit that could not be erased. The habit of expecting too much for anything especially goodness and expecting people around us to react the way that we wanted them to. I've been reminded not to expected too much of anything, because when it happened not like what we wanted it to be, frustration will come along. I hate frustration, and I bet everyone hates it as well.

Like today, I expected that driving lesson was going to be fine, but it was not. I was okay when I handled the car alone, but when the new instructor started to watched how I was doing, I think I became nervous like always. To be frank, I despise being at the track in Broga, because it's boring and freaking hot. I also hate myself for not doing any good, but worst, and if this continues, when will I finally have my driving license and started driving? And yeah, these all happened because I expected too much in myself.

Expecting too much for the government to "offer" me with any scholarship is another thing that I wrongly pursue. Why want they offer me anything? I am nothing compared to those high achievers who obtained straight Aces. Far beyond, I am just an ordinary kid, who didn't find her special ability yet. I hope a little that I could, and make the best of it. Now that I couldn't hope for any offers, I just have to do the best for the future, using the usual method. I must be lying, if I told you here, that I feel happy when dear friends got the call for scholarship interviews. I feel shattered not to be among them, especially when they whom I already created strong bonds with, are expecting to leave, for the better opportunities. Somehow or rather, all I could do is smile with them, laugh when they laugh, and hide this emotionally-ruined feeling. I could just wish them all goodluck:)


Right now, maybe I am in the mode of a inspirited person, but I am sure I can overcome it, when I have the supports from families, from dear friends and from Allah Al-Mighty. So, here once again, take the scenes of mine as something that you could learn from, do not expected too much, because you could just gain a little. Love.

1 comment:

Nina-chan said...

haiz.. don't make me sad honey..
coz im already as sad as i could be in this particular tiring and longg moment of my life.. :(