The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Soup for the Soul

Midvalley was crowded even on Wednesday. Planned a day out for a movie with some closest girls I know at UiTM two days earlier. Eisya Aiman suggested Wednesday because the price of the ticket is lower than any other days. Good job girl, You save my pocket money!

Wanna grabbed Syikin but she's far away at Pahang, Dina is just quiet as a mouse, heard no news from her lately. In the end, only Azyan, Jija and Eisya tagged along. So, the plan was to watch Big Momma; Like Father Like Son. Haven't watch movies ever since Christmas Holiday. 

Woke up for some reason. My mindset shut off to see the sun rise like I used before. Thankfully, my father was aware that I have a date with these girls, so I owe him big for not making it an off. Kalau tak, I will lose three more friends. T.T

Big Momma this time, is not really entertaining. Laughed out at the jokes here and there, but they don't clinch. Good comedies will always come out with scripts that make you laugh unstoppable and will carved in down to your soul. Sadly, Big Momma isn't the one included in the description I made above. Yes, go watch it, but SERIOUSLY, just wait for a couple of weeks so you can download it in HD. Then it would be worth it.

One important thing that I got today are two books: which I considered them as soups for the soul. Been away from reading for two weeks can really make someone dull. Well, at least it is for me. Bought two books which I was destined to buy just to reduce my quality spare time with my dear friend called Facebook. However, what I am trying to find is a book called What Your Teachers didn't Tell You by Farish Noor. Couldn't find it somehow or perhaps terlepas pandang? I just need to get back to the store soon, after knowing how it looks on cover art.

suke dengan MPH sebab banyak buku:) (poyo sikit)

heard this one inspires people, let see what'cha got!

gonna be BOOKWORMS after bored becoming FACEBOOKWORMS

nak tau apa ada dalam ni kena la beli ye dak?

Eh, besides getting myself two books, I am pleased to have my friends back. It was fun again to have lunch with the girls. Domino is certainly a better place for pizzas compared to the Hutted Pizza (Pizza Hut) despite having an uncook brownies for desert. Hehehe. Apa ni domino Midvalley, bakar Brownies pun tak reti ke?

I had happy today. Have YOU?

>>>P/S: My friend Jija put an ad on the Internet, and already got a job-call. Waa. I am so unlucky not to get as fast as she did. T.T ....BUT now looking forward for PC Fair, BookFair and Edu Fair. <<<

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Chinese Mindset

Have you ever heard that Chinese always had their eyes for money? They WOULD never end up for business that could make them lost? And, they always have good mindset? I couldn't agree more. Even in Malaysia, Chinese topped the market in HARVESTING their income to the highest degree. Most of the richest tycoon we have right now are ruled by these Chinese people and even shopping malls that we used to go to LEPAK and hotels that surrounded our capital city, most of them are owned by these great Chinese tycoons. They have some kind of principle in life that we can follow. Besides that, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w (selawat ke atas junjugan) once phrased: Tuntutlah ilmu sampai ke negeri China. Why do you think he mentioned about China?

Last night I couldn't sleep, so I grabbed the newest edition of my school's magazine. Like I expected, the magazine featured the list of names of 'successful' SPM 2009 candidates. It is fun to see my name among those great achievers. And, it brought the old memories again. Anyhow, what I wanna emphasize here is on my friend, the 2009's best SPM achiever of my school, advice on how to succeed. I somehow or rather feel that it can be put into good use. Who knows?

Liew Chee Tuck is the friend I am mentioning about. A great friend, a handsome friend, and a friendly accounting tutor. He is like my ONLY CHINESE friend I have right now, after Chiam demised. Listed below would be his advice to the juniors:

Ways to Deal with Time: -Dividing time to four categories

1. importance and immediate
2. importance and non-immediate
3. not important and immediate
4. not important and non-immediate.

Ways on Studies: Divided into 3 categories

1. Understanding: do notes and exercises
2. Calculation: do notes and memorize formulae
3. Language: knows the technique

One of his goal that will make him undoubtedly as a Chinese is to have a personal asset targeting at RM10 million. Now he is pursuing a foundation studies in Actuarial Science and will continue his degree after May 2011. 

I remember how he used to read a book that contains technique on good business managements, that have been adapted from ancient Chinese technique on wars. He did ask me to consider reading it, but I haven't up till now. I will definitely gonna get the book! 

And, I am grateful to have him as a friend while in school. He is a brilliant guy, and I owe him a lot for helping me in accounting. Miss him badly now. Lol.

>>>p/s: Chinese can be a very good friend. Sadly, I have only a few of them. Pity<<. 

Loosen up

Alhamdulillah that we live well up till now. Earthquake strikes Japan again, masyaAllah. The country itself had lost so much and now again the mishap recurred. How can this be even sadder?

Yesterday, got this chat with a collegemate. I assumed he would make it to the pre-medicine course which will be starting this May after the final results are out. So, I was just asking, is it true the course is only for the ex-science students from UiTM. And, yeah, it is true. It gonna be a 5 weeks introduction course on medicine for the chosen asasian. I myself not quite sure whether I'll make it or the opposite. Pretty much have loosen the expectations and hopes. 

This friend made me realized that ALLAH Azza Wa Ja'la is AR RAHMAN and AR RAZAK. Every blessing in life given to His servants are decided upon HIM, himself. None others. Semua rezeki itu ditentukan oleh Allah yang Kuasa. Plus, there are ways how we should ask for the blessings and ways to start praying on what we really want in our lives. And, I might have lack on that particular effort. To pray with my highest degree of sincerity.

He added that, his friend who is doing medicine in UKM told him that not everybody who entered the faculty is graded a flat 4. And, even the success upon getting to medical school is rezeki from Allah to His servant. 

That's why after hearing that, I keep thinking about mistakes. Mistakes that I have made all these while. Allah is there for us. Perhaps it is the way we asked from him ain't proper. So loosen up, and make a correction while there's time.

>>p/s: a final year medic student whom I call doc, advised me how to lose weight. Dieting and 4 times a week exercise is importante. But, you know me, the laziest of all lazy bums. Try not to eat full-plated of white rice he told me. I was like OMY. I am a Malay who adore rice so much. But, this is for the future. I must grab the chance to live healthy. Lagipun, nak jadi doctor, first impression pun amat penting kan?<<<

Sunday, 27 March 2011

Life after asasi

Earth Hour 2011 wasn't my in-thing after all. Second year, of not participating, and am I that bad for not at least save up a little energy for the Planet Earth? Maybe but whatever.

The reason for not turning off the electricity for that particular event was because I had a feast to attend. And, the feast was a heaven of food, plus it was nice to see long-time-no-see nephews and nieces and beloved aunt who just got diagnosed for having gout this very night. Wah pity her, hope she's fine by now.

One problem when we encountered with big family reunions is the fact that when we got bashed by some cousins and aunts about our education. What are you pursuing now? Where are you studying now? What's your goal? And the list continues. Sometimes, it's okay to interfere with one's life, it proven that they love me and they care, however sometimes it turns out to be a little annoying.

Looks like not many knew what asasi and foundation studies is. When I told them, I just completed mine, they went a bit awkward. Asked me again upon my degree, what choice that I made. InsyaALLAH medicine is still in heart, I replied. One cousin, who already had a child at the age of 18, then bashed me about am I going to go to Russia? I replied a NO. Then, he recommended me Indonesia, Padjajaran, Medan and so on. Mom interrupted and told him that I am afraid of earthquakes and after that, he told me...why need to go overseas when you have a lot of prestige medical schools locally? He is right. And that's what I am aiming for. 

Hahaha. This cousin is one of many who like to play nice and friendly. He then asked me, what's the reason my aunt got her Gout after eaten the fried chicken liver that very night? Tak ke gelabah tanya pasal GOUT kat lepasan asasi macam saya? Well, probably after this, I have to be updated with diseases and their facts so that won't be shivered to answer such questions again, no? 

What a day. But, seriously this cousin, or Abang Saiful, was really nice:) Had fun debating with him about IB, since her daughter wanna do it so much. Well, goodluck for my niece in everything? (As if she care my wish of luck) T.T

>>p/s: have to watch my diet for the time being for watashiwa don't wanna have diabetes and GOT SICK<<<

Friday, 25 March 2011

I sense the end of it

Hungry, very very hungry. Lunch hour passed, and haven't eaten anything since 11 am. Why? Because basically, today is just another lazy day to go to the kitchen. Probably we will have dinner outside and whatever.

Today is kind of a lonely day. My facebook friend, Miranabila, text me a while ago, telling me her fine condition far away in Egypt. Well, the revolution and demonstration and whatnot are still ongoing in Egypt, but Mira told me that those people won't disturb any foreigners including Malaysians, so they will be safe. Alhamdulillah.

Like I said, a lonely day. I'd love to hang out sometimes, but to think back of THAT plan, well, better not. I probably stay home at best. Because at home, I can reach to the outside world too, via Internet. I can see what my 'friends' are doing, through Facebook and the list goes on. But, trust me kids, being friends with people virtually IS NOT similar to HAVE FRIENDS IN REALITY.

I am much more of a boring person. I talk less when I have exactly nothing to be bragging about. I care-less about any talks that involves dramas or shows on Astro because I barely had watch any since there's no Astro in the house, I got headache when I started to think and care for the world causes thus have nothing to share, and I am quite a lampy which is a new word I learn, given to those who could not understand on jokes very well. I am a slow lamp, yeah that's what it is. 

Because of the circumstances I have like above, I barely had friends whom I can say best friends. And seriously, to think twice of it, I AM RIGHT. I don't even have a friend to mutter and whine and to be stupid with and not to mention to SPEND with this entire holiday. I am not just plainly broke but plainly friendless. Is that really a word;friendless?

Ceh tak bersyukur betulkan? Ahahaha. Well, yeah maybe I am not grateful enough. But this is what I have been sensing every time when holiday comes. Sad isn't it? Who say humans can be alone? Who says humans  are alright without friends? I sometimes ponder what the word friends really mean. 

I had this facebook friend, who pursued TESL in Shah Alam's UiTM. I told him, that whether he recognized my once-upon-a-time best friend whom is a girl, and pursued the same course as he did there. Until up to this one time, this facebook friend, asked me whether I have seen my best friend's performances in one play they did back there in UiTM Shah Alam. I barely answered a plain NO and he went, "What! You haven't seen YOUR BEST FRIEND'S play?" And from that moment, I sensed the end of it. We were childhood friend, more like best friends, who did almost everything together, but destiny somehow or rather brought us to these separate ways. And when one day we went out together again, there's nothing to be talked about, nothing to share, and to conclude, there's nothing more in common. I am a hopeless friend after all. Hahaha.

Then there was one more girl who always a sunshine. She's the only person I know with a lot of confidence even though sometimes she failed in the things she did. She taught me a lot on confidence, and she is a very fun person to be with. After SPM ended, she accompanied me down under to Midvalley for job hunting. Been there for 2 consecutive days for the hunt. Finally she got a job at Dome Cafe and I got one at Robinson. Due to some events, and due to my parents' objections, I didn't go to work with her and she went there alone. I haven't seen her again from that day onwards up till now. She always changes her phone number and probably she is still at matriculation college. So, I sensed the end of her too in some pitiful ways. 

To start with, it's not their fault for making me a loner like now. I am the one who is too helpless and hopeless in building bridges so that the friendship could constantly reconnects. Oh what a dumbo. I did try to change into a better friend, a better talker, a better listener, but perhaps it took a longer time to blossom. 

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Cooking? I'll be good in no time.

Some girls learn cooking with their mother, sister and granny, but I am pretty lucky to be learning how with my father, since he has been so free in the house. To not fret, my father is a great cook and there's absolutely no problem to be learning that with him. Jealous tak?

Been three days cooking dinner with him. But, only the first day's try-out was carved in picture. Yesterday's menu and the day before yesterday, were quickly eaten by an hungry monster (me) before it could be photographed. So, first try out were ayam masak merah and yellow spinach curry (gulai bayam) T.T (nak jugak tulis dalam English)

There you go. How was it? Ada chance tak nak jadi isteri mithali? Well, it looked rather not-very appetizing, but seriously they tasted like heaven, hehehe. And, that's what an unemployed person like me would do at home. Today's plan gonna be fish curry and some ulam-ulaman, comprising of jantung pisang, although I hate it like hell, my dad advised me that it's good for avoiding aging. Whatever la. 

Cooking isn't so complex after all. I am sure to be better in no time. 

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Once there's a boy..

Never ever look down on anybody. That's something that we should always remember. Sometimes expectations came out surprising and yes they always do. This is a story, well not REALLY a story, about my cousin who just got his SPM result today.

Taufiq is his name. He lost his dad (my pakngah) when he was just 8, but he grew up to be so strong and independent. I barely had any current photos with him because he studied so far away there in Terengganu.  But we were always together as a child. I mean, I am just a year older than him, and he is just a year older than my little brother, so Mak Ngah would always sent him to our house for him to play while she off to work. 

He has one older sister and one older brother, whom I myself called them Kak Dee and Abang I respectively. They aged by many years compared to Taufiq, and have always been advising him these and thats and everything he does in his life, they would never miss to lecture. Somehow, sometimes, they kinda look down on Taufiq, since he would spent most of his times playing the computer games and such. However, despite his laziness to touch books so often like this pathetic author of this blog, he excelled so much in his SPM today. Well, I still remember how he would finish his maths without even using a calculator though. He is awesome.

Mak Ngah texts my father this afternoon, informing us about Taufiq's victory in SPM. He has done so well and that's a proud in my family. Soon, he would probably find his way overseas doing the environmental engineering like he told me during one of my cousin's wedding. I hope he would get that opportunity because he deserved it so well, he had the ideas, the vision and passion for it. Goodluck:) 

-simply a message for you and me. Don't even judge anybody from his or her past. And never look down on people. Because this life is full of surprises-

>>>p/s: Well today making me reminisce about Chiam again. Why should I bother thinking about someone who had gone forever?<<<

Korean can make better comedies

Eh have been at home and goyang kaki for 4 days now. It is not fun, not amazing, just bring this good feeling of comfort. I love comfort more than anything else in this world. So, I can smile wide without regret.

High Kick Through The Roof is the 'business' I am busy with lately. What is that you may ask? Well, basically, it's a Korean sitcom evolved around a beautiful teenage lady named Se Kyung and her sister, Shin Ae who lived-in a rich grandpa house who likes to fart around. This is more like a friendly family sitcom, and it has about 100 episodes, and just reached the 60th. 

No one could stop laughing watching this one. I myself, watched it alone and laughed at it alone during the boring days at Puncak Alam, after exam ended. It was fun and it can be very distracted. How can you not laugh when seeing an old Grandpa farts every time he walks? How could you not laugh after seeing how the grandpa at age 70++ could ditch on dating like teenagers? Plus, in the rich grandpa's house, there are the grandpa's daughter who likes kicking people around, because she was good in Taekwondo. She wakes her son up by kicking him and once brought to the minister of education for kicking one of her student at the private part lol. 

The grandpa's son-in-law can't be any funnier. He is a handsome man, and has a lot of charisma from the appearance, noted as the Vice President for the family's business, but then could not even calculate 3 digits number? He didn't even know to differ between 8pm and 1800 pm, thus making a restaurant reservation for a client wrong. Then, comes the grandpa's girlfriend who happened to be the vice principal at this one school where the grandpa's daughter is working. She is noted as the pervert granny because of her habit pinching the boys' nipples in the school. Hahaha and lotsa more to cover in this such funny sitcom. 

Well see it for yourself at

>>>p/s: I can't believe I have this korean syndrome back. Oh this ain't good aint good at all:(<<<

Monday, 21 March 2011

The odd feelings

Assalamualaikum. As I am posting this down, I am already at home for 2 days by now. But this feel odd, real odd. Something ain't right, something ain't good, and too clueless to figure it out.

19th March 2010- The historic date of my life, whereby I actually ended my life as UiTM Puncak Alam's student. Asasi or foundation ended, just moved to a complete full stop by 11 am. To cut it clear, it has not even been a complete 365 days living on the peak of the jungle and it seemed so short somehow or rather. Alah dayana, mengaku je! You are actually sad to leave that place! Kan kan kan???

On 19th March itself, it didn't feel THIS SAD. I admit that I rushed to go home, seriously called my mom the night before, asking her to come pick me up early so that won't be stuck in the traffic. Silly me. Where got traffic jam on Saturday, lol. But, that's was my BEST reason, to go home as quick as lightning. Clearance was scheduled by 9 am that morning. Every bit of my things were piled in the apartment's living room. So did my housemates' things. We were just ready to get back home. 

Felt the last refreshing moment stepping down the deathly stairs steps, hurrying down to go to FF2, somehow quite far from the peak of the hill. It was an excitement to have the last memory of stepping down on the steps. Reached the FF2, the place where tutorials will always be conducted. Feeling the joy taking the lift for the last time, and catching up with the Puncak Alam introductory ad in the lift for the last time. It was making me hard to even swallow my saliva down the throat, feeling of this sadness that could not been described. 

Munsyi was the last test to be accomplished. 300 questions were answered without a problem. And WHOOSH, it's eleven.....a mark for the end of asasi life. Right after we were told that we can go out from the hall, I quickly hugged each and every classmates who were close to me. Hugged Sara twiced, and hugged Christyne, who is sooo helpful during Chem Lab. Dina, my 1st asasian friend that I met, grabbed me by chance outside the hall, and we squeezed each other a farewell cuddle. It was nice:) The Kedah's Korean fans, and the Sweet Kelantanese girls, all of them are superbs and got one nice warm hug from me. hehehe. Thanks to everybody:) They have been nice. 

One person I didn't get the chance to bid goodbye was my roommate. Well, never find a way to be closer and to mingle with her. It was hard because I am a fool in someways. I hope she's doing fine where ever she are now. And to my dear ROOM D's housemates, Hajira and Adibah, you two were awesomers. Sorry for the late night bothering, just to get some good friendly chats. Thanks for all the stupid non-stop laughter we end up for. They were good. Ira and Adib from Room C were remarkable, fun in their own way. Room B's Huda and Ema were two shiny jewels. You too are babies in the house, yet so kind and fun. Haahaa. Tapi pelikkan?? I haven't got any of their photos with me. Feel so dumb right now.

Perhaps leaving Puncak Alam early was not a good idea. But it just happened to be that way. It was hectic that day whereby the lift were overloaded every single time. I used the lift 5 times just to take my things down to the car. Fuh it was tiring. And, it was so in a rush, thus so many things were undone....T.T. Now, I just lean back and reminisce of the good moments I had there. The wonderful five star lecturers, the young amazing tutors, the chill tutorial rooms, the sometimes hot-sometimes chill lecture halls, the every-day crowded cafe at the campus, the so-not-amazing Pendeta Restaurant, the nice view from the room's window,  the everyday-same-menu Rafflesia, the so-small-irritating minimart, the relaxing beautiful suraus, the informative Islamic lectures at Musolah Angsana, the amazing laboratories, the offices, the library, and the padang kawad, plus soo many places I have stepped on, keep on rewinding in this brain. Wish it could stop, because it brings me tears. Tears of the odd feelings. -the end-

>>>p/s: eh lupa nak mention about one guy named Calvin. Well, thanks Calv, for being a very nice friend, even though I sometimes treat you like trash. I am sometimes dumb and harsh, please forgive me? hehehe. And, one thing tetap tak puas hati. My UiTM album ain't complete! Dush!<<<

Sunday, 20 March 2011

she's on television soon?

Khayra Amani will one day be on t.v. Well, that's what beautiful kids are always turn out into right. Yesterday, seeing her again at Klang was a joy. She's a nice kid, but sometimes a brat. And she's SOOOOOO beautiful even with a frown face:) Just adore her a lot.

khayra with a frown face is on the very right. 
It gonna be a milk ad. hehhehe. A brand of milk called Abbot. Lol. I think 6 months break gonna be sufficient to wait for it no?

Friday, 18 March 2011

tiada apa lagi

Physics came as expected. Easy yet tricky. Hmmm...just could rest everything to Allah. 3 hours seem just like 3 minutes, and BOOM asasi ended, with a frown on everybody's face. Perhaps we were tired, of not sleeping for three days to revise Physics. And, throw away all the books FOR GOD SAKE. Just have a good rest and fun before September comes. 

But, one thing I am having a sad feeling about is that, all my friends seem to be not in the mood. Just as Physics ended, I thought we were going for something fun to do, at least lunch together? Sadly, everyone walked on separate paths, and the day just flew like that. How boring.

So, perhaps, there are nothing much left I can do around the campus. Done with the cycling, done with the morning jog, with the Gym, eating at Pendeta, hanging out at the library and use the staircases, so what else? None. That's why, it's telling me that, I should go home. And Drashvihdahniya Puncak Alam Campus.

>>>p/s: wanna snap picture with this guy. but I am so shy. aigooo....<<<<

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Physics: Last Paper to Face

Kita orang ada buat Physics Clinik esok, MAI LER!!

-A kindly message from dear prof ahmad, received at 10 pm yesterday-

Well, to get down to the campus, when there's actually no classes to attend, will bring this laziness to just get up and go for this clinic. I know I need this. I know this is my only chance. But, why am I still stuck not to have getting ready for it? This is an exam hazardous sydrome. 

Looking at the past years Physics bring the paranoid me alive. What if that question came out? What if this question came out? Seriously takut. T.T because Physics is the only subject that when you see any of its questions, you will automatically become clueless. What formula to use? What method should I imply? These questions bombarded every single time. 

But, when you REALLY know how to SOLVE one question. You really can solve them right, without seeing the solution, YOU WILL FEEL GOOD and CONTENTED. The rejoice of knowing how to solve Physics is sometimes heavenly undescribeable. AHHH..

Contradically, when you really do not know how to solve one question or SIMPLY know it, but COULDN'T get it right, YOU WILL TURN LUNATIC. That's Physics. And right now, I just have to revise them until late night tonight. For tomorrow is the final battle.

>>>p/s: just forget the things you do not know, and dwell with the one you know!!!<<<

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

And there's no food

Well, yesterday was BIO 096 the finale battle. Ceh battle la sangat. It was a dismay if I shall not pass it with flying colors and rainbow because everything that came out, was already being leaked by Madam Mazhani. It certainly feel bad because you are facing an examination whereby the questions are already leaked, and so everybody has already learn them, and I bet it was an easy BIO paper after all. 

Exam that starts late is not a fun thing. That's for sure. The exam started around 2.15 pm and by 1.30 pm, I am still on the hill at the hostel, doing the last errands to remember every facts that I know. Zuhur came at about 1.30 pm, so a quite rush with the solat, and using the block's staircases instead of the lift, because it gonna be late!

By the time reaching the hall's corridor, the tutor shouted, "Terhegeh, hegehnya! Nak ambik exam ke tak nak ni!" I was like, what the heck! Don't you know the hall is far, and I gotta do my solah first? So inconsiderable, that's a basic foolish sense in Malaysian's system. Why must start an exam, at the time, where by, it gonna be hard to juggle between solah time? It's not approapriate because, THIS IS MALAYSIA. And to add up, here is UiTM, whereby most of the students are Malay with Islam as our religion. Why can't they at least consider the exam to start earlier? Why why???

And by 5 when the exam ends, all asasians headed towards the hostel to get our rest and to eat and to do what we please before juggling for Physics Finale this Thursday. I who happened not to have eaten since morning, felt this enormous hunger and could even eat a GAJAH. Went to the everyday cafe, Raflessia, and guess what? There's no food! It was senseless. The vendors were senseless. Cook something! We pay, not that we eat for free. Sigh. Because of this weird sounds already screaming right down from my guts, I grabbed the kertas bungkus warna coklat, and took away some fried rice, added with fried egg and some sambal nasi lemak. T.T

All fried, and the hunger vanished for just two hours. What a luck.

>>>p/s: if you wanna study here, PLEASE dont forget to bring along a multipurpose cooker, like my friend Yana Melati...hmm<<<

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Pembersihan Jiwa; One thing that I forgot

To succeed in something, not only hard works to be put into priority, but it also comes together and in a package of being kind, being humble, being TAWADUK, and being grateful enough. One day, I heard that Kesyukuran itu kadang-kala lebih tinggi makamnya daripada kesabaran. True enough, because patience has its limits. Once it peaks, there it goes into a despair and frustration. But, truely with pure gratefulness, with life, with what we have right now, will somehow or rather bring us with the comfort of the heart, comfort that won't bring us to the level of self-guilt and envy towards others' success. 

I lack in a clean heart, a pure heart. I easily being envied seeing other triumph better, I can adapt an easy feeling of hatred towards some people around me without knowing the reason and kept gossipping badly about them to myself. That's not a clean heart, and probably this is the problem that leads me to the position where I stand now. Therefore, don't be a person with such a sluggish heart, try change into a better person, having a cleaner heart.

Pray and pray non-stop, without boredom, without tire, is a must now. One day and I woke up, I should feel grateful that I've been given ONE more day to live, to have this physical, to have this health, to see the world, to see my parents, and brother and sister and the friends that I had. Why should I be worried, if I have Allah with me? But a sudden failure, bring back the 'dirty' heart which is full of riak and ungratefulness. What a shame of myself. Why must I cry after all this hardworks but it seems nothing paid off? Since, this is NOT THE END of the world yet, Allah is with me. All I have to work out for is seek for his forgiveness and his blessings. 

Mom and Dad are the best friends I have, consoling me with the advice to seek for Allah's help. Thanks to them, I finally realise that life is much more better if we become more grateful and more kind to the people around us. Things happened should make me a better person, insyaALLAH. And you too, dear readers, comfort yourselves with Allah's presence. HE hears you all the time, but have you and me, put the greatest effort to seek for HIS guidance in any possible ways?  A question that needed a clean heart to answer. And remember, only we ourselves could open the closed door to lead us to the perfect route. The rest leave to Allah.

>>>p/s: done with two Finale Papers. and two more to go. bravery and efforts are going to be flamed!<<<

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Things I hate during exam week

Number one would be the intense seeing the roommate of mine being sooooooo diligent, without the intention to at least grab some peaceful moment to have a wonderful nap. It gives me a sense of rivalry and it's not good I tell ya.

Number two would be the worry that my roommate or housemates would come to my place, even in the toilet that is, to actually seek for my opinion about the past year questions that they are doing. Sometimes, if feels nice when I can help them, but on the second thought, shoot I haven't done that question yet! What if it comes out in the tomorrow's finale???! *Paranoid*

Number three, is the worry to eat. Because, I always feel to go to the toilet after eating. And, even going to the toilet for natural calls are defined as wasting time, because at least 5 minutes are wasted right???

Number four, is the hatred towards distractions like internet, tv and you say it! And, the more you are in tendency to study, the more distracted you would be. Like now, I must say.

Number five, is the problem on waking up after a good night sleep. Sure, waking early is always a noble thing to do. But, during exam week, my eyes are just as if they have been stapled to close and my soul are already in New York. I just couldn't wake up early in the morning, to study....That's a problem, isn't it?

Number six, is of course the hatred knowing that the exam is just in a few hours, and the moment when everything you have learn quickly dissappear without no reason. It's the nervousness that give such a bad feeling towards everything. Not to mention, the feeling of stomach ache, and nausea, and puking when you see something related to the things you learnt. 

Number seven is the feeling of unconfidence to dwell with the very exam because it means everything! It determines everything that the future life would bring you. But, no worry, God is always there with us!

Number eight, is the laziness you could not overcome, especially when you can actually go for help down the campus, but your body said no, and it feels troublesome, to walk down the stairs when there's exactly no class to attend.

Number nine, is when you see some kids at the cafe' doing revisions together, and you really hope and wish your friends would call you and do the same thing. Sometimes studying in a bunch help, but I don't know, I never did try. Well, for some, it could be a nuisance, but I am just clueless. Mom told me yesterday, "You should study in groups for now on. What are the things you don't know, that you have trouble with?" But I can't answer her. I don't know what I don't know, and I hate the feeling of Oh Yeah I know everything but the real fact is I actually do not know anything at all. T.T

Lastly is the number ten, when the assesment marks are already there to be checked and the marks aren't really satisfying. It gives a sense of wonder, a wonder why can't I do a little better for the marks to be much more higher? But, no worry, God is there to help me:)

>>>p/s: the reason for failing must be because of the lack of believing towards what Allah can give me, towards the fact that HE is the only entity that could bring me luck and otherwise and towards the fact that HE is the only one whom I can beg for sympathy and help during toughness and ease. <<<

Monday, 7 March 2011

berserah kepada YANG ESA.

Pembuka segala urusan

Key to all knowledge

Surah Al Alaq

SURAH ASY-SYARH – Untuk melapangkan dan melegakan hati

Selawat ke atas Nabi S.A.W- Pembuka Hati


“Kesejahteraan kemuliaan seluruh bulan sekelilinginya beribu-ribu di atas junjugan pesuruh yang amat tinggi. Ya Allah Ya Allah. Wahai Pembuka segala ilmu. Wahai Yang Maha Mengetahui segala ilmu. Ya Allah engkau bukakanlah pintu hati kami dengan pembukaan yang sepenuhnya.”
(Nasihat oleh Ustaz T.M. Fouzy Jumat)


Doa kuat ingatan dan kuat hafazan


“Ya Allah! Kurniakanlah kami fahaman para nabi dan hafalan para rasul serta mendapat ilham para malaikat yang hampir denganMu juga kurniakanlah kami kesihatan wahai Yang Amat Mengasihani.”
(Nasihat dari Ustaz Syed Abdillah Al Jufri)

When mentally blocked

wirid ketika gelapfikiran
“Wahai Tuhan Yang Memberi Petunjuk, tunjuki aku”
Imam Ahmad bin Ali Albunni mengatakan, Nama Allah ini adalah lafaz zikir malaikat Israfil. Apabila kita berada dalam kegelapan fikiran, kita baca doa tersebut, insya-Allah seketika itu juga kita akan memperoleh petunjuk. Boleh juga dibaca seketika sesat jalan.

To see hidden things
“Tidakkah Dia mengetahui apa yang Dia ciptakan, sedangkan Dia Maha Halus lagi Maha Mengetahui”.
Jika dibaca 9 kali ketika hendak tidur dan beristiqamah dengannya, insya-Allah ia akan bermimpi dan melihat dalam tidurnya akan sesuatu yang dikehendakinya. Jika diamalkan selalu insya-Allah akan didorongkan untuk belajar perkara yang akan disoalkan dalam sesuatu peperiksaan. Boleh juga dibaca ketika mengalami suatu masalah dalam pelajaran atau projek.

Sunday, 6 March 2011

Last Physics Lecture

3rd March noted the end of Physics Lecture. Maybe and maybe not, we will stumble upon Physics during our degree. Will be missing Prof Ahmad to the maxx after we left asasi. Credit picture to D1.

Bila Pagi

only could contemplate with breakfast on Monday, Tuesday and Friday if I were at college. When classes start around 10 am that is. Nutella and Gardenia are two best friends, that dance gracefully on my tastebud even though I prefer my mom's luxury sandwiches, which she always make when I am at home.

Friday, 4 March 2011

And Lecture Week Ends 4th March 2011

One more date became a history. A history of being 18 and 19. Semester 2 had just bid the rest of the science's foundation student a farewell. Ended with mathematics lecture, with dear Pn Khadijah, who is seriously funny and entertaining. Praise to Allah for giving me the chance to have her as my math lecturer:)

I wanna say that, I have to really struggle despite having this body and soul of laziness. It's because next week, and may I repeat it, NEXT WEEK, gonna be the finale examination. It will be the final battle between me and the foundation students, to excel so that the degree we wish to pursue is in the hand. Meaning, study week must be really occupied with studies and no more termenung sana-sini and seriously have to stop overthinking.

Yesterday, class ended with dear Prof Ahmad, giving us hints of what may come out for the finale. I was a bit frustrated to know that Kirchoff's questions won't be asked, because I had master it, and now there's no chance for answering at least one question I know. What is ability? Ability is continue doing what you CAN do and do not interfere with what you CANNOT DO. Like, he always said, abandoned the things that you don't know, and that's Physics.

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Ups and Downs: Bare it if you are a human being

Teruknya diri ini. sometimes, it took a great fall, to know where you stand, and that's the best quote ever made by any humans. And as for me, I now know where I stand. Somewhere far behind, than the usual me, the original me. I miss the old me. But what to do, everything is a past, and should never be regretted. Any mistakes I've done, the one to be blamed, is none other but myself.

Seeing my friends walking in a herd, and walking either lagging them or leading them, I somehow, ponder what am I with them? Just a mere friend, or a super friend. I can't make jokes and I don't know how to act superb. But, I seriously enjoy every moment hanging out with them. Thanks for caring, and loving and annoying me. Those I appreciate a lot.

Final gonna be next week, starting off with mathematics. Punctuality is a must now, since the exam hall, has somehow far away from the current one. And, lecture week is gonna end this week. Got the marks for chemistry. I flunk badly. I sick of showing my teardrops because in the end, they are mere water that comes out and have no benefits on me. I prefer to keep them save inside my tearducts and when I return home this weekend, I shall burst it all out, in a room where there's no one, except for me, and God Almighty.

Majority of the people in class wanna have a re-TEST on chemistry. Will be held this friday, involving all chapters since the beginning of asasi semester 2. I somehow, feel like wanting to try out luck without studying because even when I did, it does not benefits me. My brain has no longer capable to memorize things well like before. I changed and sorry mom and dad, I couldn't be the person you expect me to be. Period.

And when people asked on what I am going to do for degree, I barely have no more answer and no more dreams. Seen all those links of medical associates on the right? Basically, I wish to be like them someday, but that's like wishing to be richer than Saudi Arabia's princes. I once told my friend, I am gonna take TESL. LOL. 

The most important part now is too finish every thing off and let's things driven by it's speed as how they should go. Is my english to hard to be read? Have hard time to understand every words I put in words? Well, don't read it then. It's not intriguing anyway. 

>>>p/s: for some reason I miss Ammar Nina and Aida Nabila. We were three muskeeteers and I certainly had fun time with them.I also miss ruskee class:(<<<