The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Monday, 29 August 2011


Have you ever encounter a situation whereby you wish someone would stop you and said to you, PLEASE STAY....? This is what I am feeling right now. To stay. With the family right here which I love the most. And RAYA made it more difficult for me to hide this emotional aura. 

This is a catchy song I like, by an indie group called Estrella but they are now silent as a mouse. I found this enthralling when Shila Hamzah did a cover on it. Presenting: STAY...

>>p/s: Enjoy this song, even though I know not many would like it. Ah seriously, too sad to leave the house in a couple of days. <<

Tak Balik Kampung ke???

Well, Dinas asked me far away from her kampung at Bukit Bla3 I forgot the place already; "Dayana, tak balik kampung?" 


1. My family and I have never been eager like everybody else I supposed, packing, hurriedly to return to kampung. Maybe yes when I was a little girl, as little as 0- 5 years old. Now, not anymore. Plus, grandparents passed away so long time ago. The cheerfulness brought by atuk nenek is never in my memory box. (saya tak pernah rasa kehadiran datuk...T__T)

2. My dad likes to raya at Kajang first. Maybe because he can takbir with his musolah mates. And there's a reason why my family never enjoyed having iftar at restaurants, because dad simply wanna iftar at musolah besides our house.

3. First raya always at Klang. Been 19 years of my life like that. And luckily, mom never nagged about her turn on returning to Kedah. That's the best part of my parents. Never argue on that silly matter.

4. If you see my not in facebook/twitter/blogging/google+/tumblr then I probably in Kampung already and eat and munch all day long. So don't worry, sorry if I made you bored seeing me every time.

>>p/s: preparations for raya done. NOT. packing to kedah belum lagi. OHHMAAN<<

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Vision Aidilfitri 1432H

Assalamualaikum and Salam Merdeka Raya to all those who kind enough to open my blog. 

Ramadhan for this year is going to end tomorrow. Can you guys believe it? Of course, AlhamduLILLAH for Allah the Almighty for giving us the chance to feel the presence of this blessed month up till now. Let's us all pray that we can meet again for the next ramadhan and the upcoming ones in years to come. I am also eager to see how my blog entry will mature in those years in the future. It's not good to post things over and over without a immense change. Because to be a blogger is easy, everyone can be a blogger, but to be a blogger who can contribute to society and to Islam most importantly, is not easy. I learn this from Hilal Asyraf after reading his book entitled: Batu-bata Kehidupan.

Generally, previous Ramadhan, was more likely to be merrier with Mak Ngah and other aunts visiting us and eat together for Iftar. This time, my aunts are as quite as a mouse. I receive no news about Mak Long and her awesome Pineapple Tart, about Mak Ngah and my cousin Taufiq and even Mak Teh didn't invite my family to her house for Iftar like she always did. So, I have no photos with Khayra. A bit sad though. 

However, I bet this raya I must be prepared to answer lotsa questionaires from my relatives. They must be quite perplexed on the fact that I am actually going to pursue studying in India after how busy they knew I was doing Pre-Medicine at UiTM. Basically, at Klang, my family will ask questions sounded: 

Why can't you continue at UiTM instead? I thought you were there for the past 2 months right? 
- No. That's just plainly PRE-MEDICINE. Not even first year yet.

Boleh ke Dayana ni jadi doctor. Sebab setahu mak teh, Dayana ni senyap aje.
- Yeah, I knew that becoming one, needs to see people everyday, talk to patients like every second. And I admit that in the family, I am among the most quite person. I won't talk if people don't approach me. Thus, this creates doubts in my Mak Teh's mind.

Em, Dengar cerita Dayana ada boyfriend sambung medic kat Ireland...?
-Perghh! This is the most intimidating question and the most annoying one I ever accounted. Hello relatives and family members, Dayana doesn't have any boyfriend at the moment. And that's just a myth for having a boyfriend in Ireland. WTFISH

Are you ready for the toughest time of your live?? - from Abang  Saiful
-I think I am. Been heard of this a lot of time already. And I think every doctor-wannabe should face the reality that he or she must withstand this. No pain, No gain.

Eh dulu kata nak pergi Russia? Kenapa India la pulak?
-Em long story....MARA sponsored me to India, so here I go.

These are just some bits I usually try to answer and probably will be trying to answer them again and again. Nevermind actually, these questions that they have about me, symbolize how my family members, aunts, cousins and all of them are indeed love me from the bottom of their heart. AWWWW :)

Oh, this is only the Klang part of the family, I didn't even mention the Kedah's yet. I mean I am more secured at Kedah because my uncle who has been with us for the first week of Ramadhan, already know about this India thing. Plus, my mak lang at Kelantan had been notified as well. They welcome me to their home with an open heart. Even my pak lang, had gave me some advice on how to cope and how to become strong as a medical student. It's easier to confront with these families in Kedah as most of them really understand this career and most are intellectuals. Not that Klang's part are not, but they usually tried hard to understand why suddenly I said I am going to Russia, now India? It's indeed my fault for arousing confusion among them.

But, my Mak Ngah at Kedah, seemed quite shock I mean, quite a BIG shock hearing about India. She even did try to ask why I didn't go to AIMST University at Kedah, near her place. She even nagged to mom, for sending me to India. Well, the bad perception one has for India will never be vanished. People will forever jot India as dirty and filthy. And Russia was once jotted uncivilized? I just hope more people especially the elderly would take their time understand about this matter. 

Haha. Sorry for anyone who read this find me exaggerating on this fact about perceptions and people's reactions. Of course, families have their right whatsoever to ask me anything they like. So I must let it be. 

Anyhow, I also try to find some good old raya photos, but fail searching. Too many files on the disk. And my eyes already swirling. Selamat Hari Raya Aildilfitri to all my readers and to all Malaysians and to all Muslims. May Syawwal bring happiness and May Ramadhan returns again for many years to come:)

saya tak reti anyam ketupat. tak pernah anyam sebab takde sesiapa pernah ajak buat. macam mana kalau mak mertua suruh anyam nanti? AIGGOOO

&amp;gt;&amp;gt;p/s: Eid Fitr means a celebration as in to celebrate how humans returns to their FITR, or FITRAH, the sacred self of the humans itself, freed from sins, hatred and despises. Let's us forgive each other for this happiness time of our lives&amp;lt;&amp;lt;&amp;lt;

Saturday, 27 August 2011

About kad raya and miscellaneous

What is kad raya? Or better called Aidilfitri cards? Well, they are as simple as greeting cards with some notes on 'Hi, Selamat Hari Raya awak...saya sayang awak' and some forgiving words like 'I susun jari nak minta ampun kat you....kalau ada salah silap' and many other versions of them.

Anyhow, I am frankly jealous of those who got kad raya this year. I mean even till last year I still received one. And no longer this year I supposed. Yeah, a non-popular person like me who would ever wanna send any. Only I am the one eager to send those to people I somehow barely know.

Nevermind Dayana. Tak penting pun kad raya...the most important thing is blessing for Allah for the thoughts you have been giving to those you remember. But still, I still feel sad for not getting any. I blame twitter and facebook for arousing jealousy :P

Miscellaneous will be on the fact that one day I wrote to Maryam, a friend of mine, to give her some rambutan, as a gift since my cousins gave one basket of rambutan. Sadly, after several days, I saw the basket almost empty. My sister is a rambutan monster and I forgot that. So she basically ate most of them. Thus, I have nothing to give to Maryam, but I didn't tell her yet. In return, I wanna make kuih raya instead. Cornflakes madu that is. How lame am I?

Also, I've been procrastinating on 50 % of my packing. I just have so many things to bring with me. And the most idiotic thing I did was buying a packet of BOH tea, even though I knew India has more lotsa tea than here. What a stupid person eh?

Plus, going to TESCO for the last time just now. Perhaps will only be coming to TESCO next year, insyaAllah. TESCO is my most frequent supermarket I've been too and I like most of its products, like tissue paper and Women toiletries. 

Still, I forgot to buy some other stuff to pack in my luggage. ZZZZZ.....Why laaa 

>>p/s: My papa said to me during Iftar just now: LAGI 2 MINGGU, and less, You will be eating at the same dining table, dena. And he turned my mood to all moody. Thanks dad -.-''<<<<

Thursday, 25 August 2011

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Tentang Dewasa dan Kolej

Saya agak kehairanan bila ada sesetengah pelajar sekolah takde impian nak masuk kolej atau Universiti. Lebih pelik lagi, impian mereka untuk cari kerja dan lepaskan pelajaran. Saya rasa matlamat tu 'overrated' dan terlalu rakus.

Tapi bila fikir semula, bukan semua manusia ke menara gading berjaya dalam hidup dan bukan semua yang tak masuk Universiti tu 'end up' teruk hidup mereka. Dengan SPM, actually, dah boleh dah cari kerja kat butik-butik antarabangsa, macam Zahra, Adidas, Giorgio Armani, Top Shop dan you name them! Just nail the interview and wear nice of course. Biasanya mereka yang berjaya dapat kerja kat tempat-tempat top class seperti Pavi dan Bangsar ialah golongan yang bergaya sakan. Ala-ala model, or Teenage Vogue. Sorry that I am not. Hanya berjaya dapat kerja kat Secret Recipe, Dome dan sebuah kedai mainan di Gardens. Tapi semuanya ditolak kerana saya betul-betul nak ambil medicine. WOHA!

Saya ada kenalan, seorang trainee manager kat 7 Eleven Kajang Utama, gajinya boleh tahan dalam RM1200 juga dan keuntungan sehari untuk kios Kajang Utama sahaja boleh cecah hampir RM10000 sebulan. Best tak? Anak tauke 7 Eleven lagi best ehehhe. Teman lelaki akak trainee manager ni, seorang supervisor di Butik Guess Pavi (rasanyalah :p), dapat gaji cecah RM3000 jugak sebulan. Kerja rasanya tak susah kut, but mesti pandai dealing with customers and make sure the money is rolling from the sales. Kawan saya, sebaya kerja Dome for 3 months, gaji dekat RM4000 jugak, best tak? But not everyone is calculative. 

Lagi-lagi? Pak Jang saya juga ada seorang kenalan sekolah, yang sebenarnya bijak pandai tapi malas nak attend sekolah. Sekarang kenalan beliau tu dah jadi jutawan berpangkat besar lagi, walaupun padahal asalnya bisnes seludup beras daripada Siam, teka siapa kalau pandai? Hehehe....Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar al Bukhary ialah jawapannya. Dan ramai lagi actually, contoh lain paling mudah, Dato Siti Nurhaliza. Ada SPM sahaja, tengoklah beliau sekarang kat mana? HAHAHA.

Anyhow, everything depends on luck and rezeki. Ketentuan Allah kita tak dapat persoalkan. But these days, nak masuk Universiti bukan senang. I mean nak masuk senang, tapi nak dapat course yang kita nak and Universiti pilihan tu sukar sekali. Ini serious!! Harap adik-adik yang hingusan kat luar sana, cubalah betul-betul study smart, especially yang tau mak ayah tak berapa mampu tanggung kos yuran yang mahal. 

And also these days, nak secure jalan yang mampu ubah hidup bergantung pada segulung sijil ijazah atau diploma. Ijazah is better, PhD is the best. Bahkan UKM sekarang pun select pensyarah yang ada PhD sahaja. Ingat senang nak jadi pensyarah? Tak senang ye adik-adik. Kerja memang nampak senang. Kemahiran penting juga, contohnya menjahit, memasak, mengukir (eh?), dan apa jua kemahiran pun boleh. Kalau nak dilihat, golongan berpendapatan sederhana di US pun usually sara hidup dengan kemahiran mereka. But seriously, I too lack kemahiran, my best kemahiran right now, according to my mom is bancuh kopi and nescafe and making cornflakes easy honey treats. HEHEHE. 

Okay, so back to the point, saya sebenarnya nak cakap dewasa ni susah dan bukannya senang. Dewasa ialah waktunya kita harus tanggung dosa sendiri, berani ambil risiko, berhadapan dengan krisis Peer Pressure and Family Pressure yang bertambah parah, memikirkan soal masa hadapan seperti, dalam 10 tahun akan datang what will I be, if I get married, how many kids I wanna bear?, what house I wanna buy, and kemudian timbul isu kereta la and all sorts of bills. (FUHHHH). Contoh, saya berhadapan dengan situasi menghadapi dewasa yang gerun semasa SPM (PRESSURE GILA) and also waktu JPJ nak dapatkan lesen. Tapi saya fikir ambil lesen lebih payah. Blame me for my lack expertise in skills. I can't even press the clutch right. Sedih tak? Bahkan sampai sekarang saya tiada lesen lagi, lantas menyusahkan saya untuk bergerak 'hangout' dengan rakan-rakan. Whatever it is, still ada hikmah; iaitu mengelakkan saya daripada kebiasaan keluar rumah, and go to driving thru for some fast food treats. TEHHEE :D  But jealous lihat sepupu lebih muda bawa kereta BMW X6 ayah dia. COOLIOOO!

Then, bila dewasa juga, kita perlu sediakan mental dan fizikal yang FIT untuk berhadapan dengan prosedur melecehkan untuk mendapatkan tempat di Universiti dan untuk apply for scholarships. Apabila syukur telah dapat kedua-duanya, time to get ready to pack, ready to go. Di sini, timbul pula masalah shopping. Dan untuk belajar ke luar negara, memang best, tapi bab packing masa nak pergi sungguh sadis. Banyak barang untuk dibawa. Baju, seluar, more baju, tudung, inner wear, toileteries, shoes ( 3 pasang kesemuanya!!-untuk kelas, untuk exercise babe! dan untuk event penting), maggie 2 jenis, serunding, 3 IN 1 drinks, and more and more things, termasuklah sweaters, socks, telekung, laptop, notebooks, stationeries. And there're some stuff to be listed too. 

Bila nak masuk Universiti juga, penting juga fikir pasal yuran. Terutama bila nak pergi overseas kena fikir, harus ada berapa RUPEE dalam tangan, berapa dollar, dan sebagainya. Nak fikir pasal currency converter lagi, pasal subscription to Broadband dan macam-macam lagi. Ayah dan ibu turut sama merasa penat lelah semua ni, bahkan mereka lebih penat. Kasihan tak kat mereka?  Dan semua barang yang nak dibawa tadi, dibeli atas duit mereka cari selepas kerja bertungkus-lumus. Kasihan tak mereka sebab belanja banyak untuk kita seorang? Sedangkan tanggungan untuk adik-adik yang lain masih ada. Waktu inilah, dapat lihat sukarnya menjadi ibu bapa. 

Hatta, nak disimpulkan bahawa hidup ni bukannya mudah, tetapi setiap sesuatu yang tidak mudah itu, terselitnya kemudahan. Hanya Allah yang mengetahui. Also, dewasa juga menjadi pertempuran sebenar untuk membentuk diri, menjadi acuan yang baik untuk bekalan ke hari tua. Tentang dewasa dan kolej: suatu permulaan sebenarnya. Kerja belum lagi ni. 

>>>p/s: Dr Mazlan did tell me that learning medicine is EASY, Practice is HARD<<<<

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

what is your favourite hang out place in KL?

what is your favourite hang out place in KL?

Answer here

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Don't Stop Believing

I need a new phone is better said that I WANT A NEW PHONE. Frankly to say, I have not enough money YET to purchase any phones that I like. BUT, we must never stop believing that we can one day muahaha.

Been wanting a smart-phone. Because I wanna feel smart? Em, no actually, it is all because I want to be compatible with most phones my friends are using. My old one is cikai. Sony Ericson K770i which is metallic purple in surface and was once upon a time my beloved baby because it's camera seems superb to a noob like me. Sadly, not anymore. The keypads are becoming worse day to day. I can't text messaging with ease, its software had been reformat by some Chinese conman, making me lost my RM30 for him to turn my phone into more cikai than I ever could imagine. I can no longer send MMS either. How bad is that. For me it's a disaster actually. Not to mention, no WiFi ability. So, it would be harsh if I were to go somewhere far from home, and yet cannot connect most of my virtual friends and families.

Em so, yesterday, I was thinking to purchase Samsung Galaxy S from a friend. But, no warranty, thus I cancel the plan. Maybe buying a new one, seems nice. The price has dropped a bit though...just waiting for it to drop even further.

Super nice if it is in WHITE.

DISPLAYTypeSuper AMOLED capacitive touchscreen, 16M colors
Size480 x 800 pixels, 4.0 inches
 - Gorilla Glass display
- TouchWiz 3.0 UI
- Multi-touch input method
- Accelerometer sensor for UI auto-rotate
- Touch-sensitive controls
- Proximity sensor for auto turn-off
 The best thing is, it has a better screen compared to Iphone. WAHAHA. More vivid more fun. Bluetooth is also accessible to other phones, compared to Iphone which is super hard to connect with other phones' brands. Same goes to Blackberries.

But if I were to save a little bit more, I would or can buy this:

Also a bit dropped in price

And this one is simply mesmerizing. What not the price, but cheaper than Iphone 4 for sure. Some nice specifications:


What not, it has :

Dual Core Application Processor
Making the impossible possible. Samsung Dual Core Application Processor is the ultra responsive answer to mobile performance, providing high-speed multitasking, quick web page loading, quick reaction speeds, a smoother UI, lightning fast image editing and high performance gaming. And with its screaming fast encoding/decoding ability, which supports all (1080p / 30fps) video playing and shooting, outshines the other dual core processors. Seamless video or music streaming gets a big boost with the super fast wireless standard HSPA 21Mbps. Outstanding computing power, outstanding performance.

-Need this, for SPEED. I just hate slow, stuck phones. Like mine. T..T It hurts, the thumbs hurt by pressing too hard. 

Readers Hub
 Readers Hub
Leave the bookshelf at home. the Samsung GALAXY S II has it in hand. Readers Hub is a great place to flip through your library of classics or browse for best sellers with over two million to choose from, but you'll also be able to set up some 2,500 magazines in 20 languages and 1,600 of newspapers in 47 languages for delivery. Crisp, sharp text makes reading a pleasure and easy to manage, with magnify, text only and page views, audio access, and more as well as one touch sharing via email. Believe in books, but look beyond paper.

-I also love this, as I am of course a VIVID reader. So as a VIVID reader, I need a VIVID phone. HEHEHEXD

Okay, I think I have made it clear why I WANNA this phone. Thanks to Doc Faisal to actually introduce me to this. In love already. But, unfortunately, I need a some times to actually save up. Which I am afraid to say, I can only purchase this by next year. Thus, I need to use my old purplish metallic Sony for now. EMMM....


Worst Feelings


Having a good night, and having it ruined with tears:

The feeling like you’re all alone, like you’re lost :

Having to look at the face of the person you love, knowing they won’t love you:

When someone tells you they don’t feel the same:

Crying so much you cry yourself to sleep:

The feeling of anger towards yourself, and him/her:

The feeling of being forgot, unwanted, not good enough:


Saturday, 20 August 2011

It's nearer

Wow. Another 9 days for my brother to return home. Everyone in the family miss him for sure. I remember being a bossy sister, whom always tell him not to finish the whole Iftar nice beverage for himself. My brother used to be quite greedy but not anymore. He seldom eat, and I wonder why. To be frank, both my brother and sister are turning into plywood super thin, but I am the only one who turns gigantic. Clap clap. Where did I get the gene from? HERMM

Anyhow, so, I assumed when my brother comes home, he would have spend most of his time using my laptop to online of course. For that, I must 'beralah'. The worst part when it comes to being the eldest. Always beralah. I miss the moments when he adored the PS2. Sadly, he said, PS2 is so last season. T.T Thus, I would then occupied myself with packing. MUAHAHA. Yes people, I take years to pack, because it is for bloody 5 years. So is that a problem? 

Time is so compact, that I feel I haven't fill these long holidays with something really beneficial to myself except for the Sabah Trip and Pre med. I actually wanna spend time with lovely ex-future-sister-in-Law, hehe no actually, it was a history. But that girl, is really nice and cute. I fond cute girls, especially shorties. HEHE. But note that I am straight, okayy? Anyhow, I regret it so much that I don't have my driving license yet. I feel dumb now, really. It is embarrassing enough to renew the L license for the 3rd time. Blame me for procrastinating. I just don't feel quite comfortable with my instructors. I messed with three instructors already. Yeah, I am harsh and BAD. Happy?

After reading an article suggested by Aiman Azlan, which you can also read it here, (if you want to), I feel like I have bad mouth. Well yeah, I do have a bad mouth. This holy month alone, I had speak nasty towards my mother which can drag me to hell. It's so hard for me to control my emotions at times. Sometimes, I couldn't stand criticisms and I am not good controlling anger and patience. Of course, even a kindergarten kid could tell this is not a good trait to become someone who looks after someone. 

Must change is the only way I could take to stop being bad mouth. It won't bring me nowhere if I continue being a jerk. Plus, the aim to khatam the Quran twice, seems like in my dreams. I don't know why it becomes quite slow this time. 

Raya is near, PMR for my little sister is near and then come SPM for my brother. It's scary seeing how they study, and now I can actually see how bad I look like when I study HAHA. For my brother, everyone is hoping high for him, but I just pray he could grab scholarships. It's hard if you have no scholarships for degree. What not, relying on PTPTIPU (formerly known as PTPTN) is definitely nerve-wrecking. 

EH, and one thing is nearer: my flight to Belgium Belgaum, India. Mom advised me not to act like rich bratty kid, don't be friend with rich bratty kids, don't spend foolishly, and don't eat too much and WORK OUT. I think one disgust a mother has to face is to having a fat daughter. T...T Sorry Mommy :'(. Yeah, it's 20th Ramadhan already. Heads on, keep calm, be patience and upgrade your Ibadah. Pray for healthiness for the next Ramadhan. 

>>p/s: Jealousy is bad. Shut it off. Oh wait, It has no button -.-'''>>>

Thursday, 18 August 2011


Em I could never learn to think nice of people. All I could do, is thinking negative. That person is rude, this person is annoying, people hate me. Why oh why?

Again, quarreling with mom and will be boarding off faraway soon is not a good thing. Yet, everything coming from people's mouth that didn't suit my mood, will deter this mood swings. Been having sleepless nights thinking about future, about life, about future friends, future hardships and many worries and imaginations which are useless. 

Plus, packing things make me sad. And the more I pack, the more I think of bringing the whole house with me. GULP. And today I quarrel with mom regarding one thing so sacred. Mom called me impatience. Hence, she brought up the matter whether or not can I possess a good patience in myself. ARGHH. I am bad at this. Thus, I sinned just because of that during Ramadan. Seriously, I am sick.

Hurm. Hurm....just that, days are becoming nearer to the day I have to leave the house. I really have wasted my long holidays for more of 'NOTHING' compared to 'SOMETHING'. HAIH.....

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Uncertain Route. And no one says it would be easy. Live with it. Strive  and pray for strength. 

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Is it their fault?

Parents always want the best for their precious little ones. They would do anything, and undergo any tests just to make sure the fetus inside the womb is healthy and without deformities. 

Of course, no one pray to have Down Syndrome babies. This deformity can actually be detected during pregnancy, by taking some amniotic fluid through the mothers. It is a painful procedure to both baby and mother, and only bring about 80% chances to see whether the baby has Down Syndrome or vice versa. Plus, the cost is expensive as well. It costs about USD 900 for one trial. T.___T

For OBGYN doctors, it is their job before any labour or deliveries to tell their patients regarding this test, and ask whether they want it to be done. There are sometimes misunderstanding catastrophic when parents actually believed that when the test is negative on conduct, their babies won't have this syndrome. 

Thus, when this happen, guess what happen to the parents. Of course they would be plainly DISAPPOINTED. The babies they had waited long enough came out not at par to what they have expected. And, it's not easy to raise children with Down Syndrome. Only those with strength could. 

When the parents become bloody frustrated, they blame everything on doctors. They would say, that the doctors cheated and just want their money. They would go as far isas to sue the doctors. Of course, for Muslims, we must beware that, any tests invented by humans are not necessarily give 100% truthful results. Allah S.W.T is the Most Powerful, He is the only entity whom able to change everything according to HIS great knowledge. We cannot question on that.

Doctors would have to live for the blame. Even with high reputation, it would bring dirt if the doctors had made such 'mistake'-mistakenly. So, the doctors, have to bear being punched till bleed, being nagged and being insulted just because their babies are not as what they want it to be. 

Patience is doctor's greatest courage. Alertness comes hand in hand. Poor Doctors. Tough studies, tough work force, harsh patients. 

a big fight. everyone tries to stop it.

being threathen

A Dad ventilates how sad he is to know his newborn is deformed.

*from the series called Obgyn Doctors (2010) - episode 10. An amazing worth-to-watch drama*

Heads On

Keep Calm and start packing dear self. Almost every day, after returning home from work, Mom will ask whether or not have I started or finish packing up my stuff. The most intriguing thing to accomplish yet so complicated.

Actually, I have had myself busy packing for baju kurung. As far as I concern, USM-KLE although seems like studying overseas, it follows rules from USM-KK at Kelantan. Therefore, it a must for students to wear formal attire every day to lectures and classes. No excuses. And, according to our seniors, there's a day for girls to must wear a Punjab Suit, or Salwa Kameez. Yahooo!!! I like this. Hehehe :D So when I said formal attires, I mean baju kurung, dear readers.

Hence, I stuffed all that I have to my baggage and it seems that Baju kurung itself already make it full. Haih. I need to re-pack. Plus, I am thinking to buy more packets of Maggie. My frequent food it will be once I am there,  but it seems like 20 kg isn't enough :(

I came up with a plan, to apply for MAS Grad Cards, for students. It allows all members as long they are students to bring extra 10 kg on board, with free of charge but of course, paying the annual fees of USD 30 (for those studying abroad). But, I have second thoughts, if I apply this, I need to use MAS frequently. And, it's not that I will use MAS that frequent, because it's cheaper to return via Air Asia. So, it looks like this plan seems like into no use. Still, it is on my head now. HEHEE...and MAS has far more comfortable seats compared to Air Asia. 

Added up to the headache, I now need to pack for three occasions. One: For 5 years stay in India. Second: For 3 days orientation at USM KK. And Third: For Balik Kampung at Kedah. But I can't just bring different set of clothes for this three occasions. Thus, I need to think of a nice strategy to pull things through. Hehehe. Meaning I have to also bring laundry to India, because I have no time exactly to send them to the dobby. 

I wanna bring the whole HOUSE if I can. :(

This is just hectic and will be havoc. Just need my mental and physical to be prepared by all the future outbreaks. Not to mention, I maybe have to go to Kelantan by bus again. Pity Dad if I ask him to drive. It's so far. 

Anyhow, it is less than 25 days (*how fast time flew*) approximately for me to just set my minds straight and be tough and strong. I will have a drench weeks after Raya, no leisure. And I have to stand on my own feet without parents beside me. 

when can I finish this

It's not as simple as BLAIR when it comes to packing :(

Not to mention, I suddenly wish how Azyan Amani would accept this offer too. I just in a sudden, wish how we could prepare things together and live for 5 years together in India. But, she has her reasons to reject this. She doesn't want to be a doctor and I must respect that. :) 

>>>p/s: bersyukurlaa kepada sesiapa yang dapat IPTA. Anda tidak perlu risau mengemas barang seperti saya....and....I still need to find for sweaters. Its CHILLING and COLD at India <<<

Monday, 15 August 2011

Raya Cookies, anyone?

Assalamualaikum and Salam 1INDIA hehehehehe XD

I know not many of us would put Raya Cookies on their priorities during AildilFithri. And they are not what people most look for during open houses, but seriously, Raya cookies put a very great benefit as a whole.

Usually, when small kids from the neighborhood come to my house, meanwhile my parents are not at home, plus I have nothing to serve them, Raya cookies will be my last resort to give them. Mom always said that kids who come for Raya don't really wanna eat or drink, they just wanna duit raya. 

Ok, as I was saying, today I spent boredom with something I couldn't do everyday. Baking Raya Cookies is fun and almost can be considered as Malay's Tradition when Aildilfitri is looming. Sadly, I have no talent whatsoever to do or make special complicated cookies like Pine Apple tarts or Almond London. I just have talent to make simple Conflakes Madu cookies - which if I make them for one whole small container, it can be vanished in just ONE day.

Almost every Raya, I make this cookies. The simplest raya cookies in the whole universe. HAHA. And the most important thing: It's very delicious. 


with LOVE



1 Big Bowl of Kellog's Cornflakes

3 Spoonful of Planta/Butter

2 Spoonful of Sugar

One Bowl of Honey


Heat the wok with slight flame. Heat the butter till half melts. Add in the 2 spoonful sugar, stir till everything melts altogether. Pour in the honey. Let everything mix well. Pour all the Cornflakes in. Using a spatula, mix everything up till all the flakes covered with the honey gravy. Turn off the flame. Let it cool for 2 minutes under normal air. And start putting them inside small paper cups. Beautify them with sprinkles of LOVE hehehe. Then, put in the oven, and heat them for 10 minutes at 110 Degree Celcius.

Once ready, Voilaa...enjoy:)

Saturday, 13 August 2011

Reality Streaming in Malaysia

One word: MISERY. The reality to download or to stream big files in Malaysia is just going down the drain. I didn't know that actually when we used Wifi, the actual speed we subscribe would be divided according to the numbers of computer in the house that are using the line. This is just super sucks. And, the speed got worsen during weekends. T.T

I have a friend who recently returned from studying at Russia. He took amazing 5 minutes downloading 3 movies simultaneously back there at Russia. I asked him to download some of my favourite TV shows which if I were wanting to download them here, would be just 'impossible'. So yeah, he also gave me abundant of new movies that were not even aired yet in our country, how cool is that? So, as he is now settling back in his hometown, here in Malaysia, and the speed of Internet is just so pathetic, he got so bored for not being able to continue streaming like heaven like before. Pity.

Anyhow, as I was saying, I am currently downloading my current favourite Korean drama called Obgyn Doctors, recommended by my future senior. Trying to download the 7th episode now, and yesterday's episode on War of Blood was just super mesmerizing and impressive. The fake surgery seems to be super real, and the blood too. The same level as Grey's Anatomy would I were to describe this. 

The fact that direct downloading is insecure because if our connection goes wrong, we need to download it back again. And the waits? Who can wait that longer. I am also not the kind of person who like to turning on my computer in bloody long hours just to download a single series. It would damage the computer in a long run due to overheating. 

So yeah, I hope in the near future, there would be an increment in our internet service. We need fast secure connectivity. What not nowadays people do live on online connection. Even business run that way. What's the use of our country being a fibre optic's producer if we cannot even have amazing fast speed Internet right? 

Kena marah..

On last Wednesday, I went to The India Visa Centre located at Jalan Lebuh Pasar Besar to of course do my visa. Sadly, MARA didn't covers for it, so I went up using dad's money instead. Pity me though for not having this 'capability' to pay this on my own. I am plain broke.

Actually, on that day before, Tuesday that was, dad and I walked all the way from Jalan Raja Laut crossing the Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman to reach Masjid Jamek to search for Jalan Lebuh Pasar Besar. Glad that my dad is  a Kuala Lumpur expert, so he knew quite well where some important buildings are located in the city. It was tiring and blazing hot, adding up it was Ramadhan. 

I guess that Tuesday was some sort of a bad luck day for me though. Dad and I went to perform Zuhur at Masjid India, which was sooo crowded. After wudhuk, I went to the Muslimah side of the masjid, then I got scolded for stepping on the pathway that I can't step on if I have my shoes on. The clean lady was like:

" Dah tulis tak boleh pijak pun, masih pijak lagi. Takde mata ke? " 

And she was pointing all those words to me. Everyone was staring at me like I am sort of a loser (Well, practically I am. I step back, took off my shoes and went inside without bothering to give some piece of my mind to the lady. Takpe, puasa, so tahan je nafsu amarah tu :)

Anyhow, as I was saying, I went again to KL on Wednesday, since the service for Visa had already close when we actually arrived at the very place. Early in the morning we went there, and so, I was the first one to deal with the counter that very day. 

Unfortunately, I don't know which part that I did wrong or LOOKed wrong that I was mistreated so badly. Okay, actually as I arrived, I went to the receptionist, gave the lady my information and the lady did write something on my Visa form and then gave it back to me. She gave me my number, and in a couple of seconds, I was called. Damn fast.

Then, it was at the counter where, I was treated like some sort of bastard. The counter lady, asked for my Visa form, my passport and USM offer letter rudely though. The intonation was as if she had PMS on that day. She ruined my mood in a total. Then she asked me rudely again why didn't I complete my visa form. Well it was 90% complete, except that I left blank some of the part I didn't know what to fill. I gave her back as soon as I finished filling those empty parts. She asked for my passport, and kept complaining how different my signature in the passport with the one in the Visa form. Of course a slight different only. Is that such bad thing? No right? T.T

I was so freaking pissed because of the lady at the counter. She even questioned me whether my application has been approved by the manager. I told her NO because I didn't know that the first lady at the reception counter already approve it. She took my visa form, and saw the red ink note written by that lady, and exclaimed, " Just now I asked you dah approve ke belum, you kata belum". Yeah, like I knew THAT was actually what they mean by approved. 

Luckily, all those heart wrenching moment lasted about 20 minutes. I was a bit shocked by how RUDE some people especially officers can be EARLY in the morning. Really spoiled my mood though, I bet she spoiled hers too. Maybe I was right that she has PMS. But why can't she be at least a bit fun. I am going to her country for God sake. Why can she smile? Is not like she's working under the hot blazing sun or it's not like she's on fasting. Haih....what a day

But people, that was just a simple scene one would have to bear in Kuala Lumpur. Harsh people are everywhere. No one you can trust.


Thursday, 11 August 2011


Yeah, it's Ramadan now. But it's so freaking hard to resist annoyance. 

1. annoyed with one girl in Facebook. I don't know whether or not she's a friend I should keep or should I 'unfriend' her. She annoys me by liking every post and every status I made. She is nice and all, but she annoys me everytime. But why am I nagging? That's the reason to have facebook in the first place, wasn't it?

2. annoyed with a friend who seems so mysterious and has a lot of secrets. I do respect people's privacy, but if something like where you are studying is also a mysterious thing and a big secret, how will I function as a friend? 

3. annoyed with some people who couldn't be honest. Mulut putar belit, macam ular. Sometimes it's west sometimes it's east. Not certain and specific. Doing maths is better I guess because there's always specific answers rather than dealing with uncertain people.

4. annoyed with some Malaysian officers who seems to be very bossy and sometimes stuck ups and snobbish. Do they learn manners treating customers? Is it that hard to work a little harder during Ramadhan? Working in an air-conditioned cubicles are so tiring heh? Have they ever ponder how is it like for people who fight for money under hot blazing sun? Just tiresome and gruesome dealing with officers who never know the art of smiling and never ever learn the art of learning people's explanation. HEH. 

5. Super slow KTM is making me nuts. Since, KTM is the only transport, at least the best choice I have to travel to KL if there aren't anyone to drive me there, I have to bear the slowpoke-ness forever. 10 minutes for KTM means 20 minutes and 30 minutes means an hour. Clap clap KTM for being the oldest train service yet still sucks. And I guess the women's coach are now meant for men too aite? There is no longer any officer on duty to let no man into the coach. HAHAHAH. Pity laaa T.T

Wednesday, 10 August 2011


This is bad. I have this bad sense in alertness and being careful at things. My carelessness is my biggest weakness. And if I continue being this careless, being so bad at handling things, how am I going to be a competent doctor in the future?

I have this big regret already after filling up those agreements papers from MARA. They gave me a guide book on how to fill them properly, but I don't know what got into me that I misread those guides. In the end, everything turned spoiled. Many mistakes have I made on every cover of the agreement booklet. I needed to cross the mistakes out and both guarantors and I have to put our initial as to mark the mistakes. It's bizarre how I made those silly mistakes continuously for 5 same booklets. I was so careless.

My mom was furious to know how I lost focus on filling those IMPORTANT agreement booklets. Those are my future. MARA is a tedious matter. It is up to them now whether or not to accept those agreements. I have give them such bad impression as one future medical student now. It's the biggest fear I have right now knowing how bad the agreements look. 

House bought a smiley balloon to erase his worries. 

Mom said she should have watch over me while filling those agreements. She as a lawyer had always deal with such documents and it's weird how I, as her daughter couldn't even fill them nicely. Since that moment, mom has always been doubting the fact that I wanna do medicine. Everyday mom will give me a peace of advice to be extra careful, to be focus, to be alert and to be wise. As a medical student, mistakes may be my greatest teachers to guide me to be better, as I can learn from them. However, if one day I were a doctor, doing many mistakes could lead to mishap among my patients as well as the whole hospital community. And I do not want to be another incompetent doctor. Of course NOT.

Now all the worries accumulating inside the head. Worried that MARA might reject me, worried that things would be burdening my parents all over again and I just hate going to and fro burdening people and all the I am the one who should face the blame. Repercussion for being so careless over such important and crucial matters. 

In the end, I need to stay positive. Worries are always humans most useless imaginations. Period.

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Dugaan Bulan Ramadhan

Minggu yang serabut. Minda serabut, pertuturan serabut. Semua serabut. Cuma masa tarawih sahaja ketenangan menerpa.

8 August 2011

Actually today I need to send back my Mara's agreement forms and whatnot. One word dealing with all these forms would be : tiresome. No wonder many friends before this, asked me to decide properly either I want to accept this offer of vice versa. And now I know how tedious all of these are. Part of growing up dear self. Live with it.

The fact that some of future coursemates and I have to send all these by 8th August is because we took the agreement by hand, whilst some others got theirs through post laju which is not as laju as it seems. Anyhow, so yeah, I really was positive that I can settle everything about Mara's agreement by today. My mom skipped from her office to follow me to the Oath Commissioner to get her/his signature for the guarantors' agreements. She was a nice lady, which brighten up my day quite a bit.

Spent bloody RM50 note on Stamps for the 5 copies of agreement booklets was something I have to bear. Went to the LHDN, to matikan the stamps ahhaha and luckily it was quite near and didn't cost me a cent. And every thing seems to be almost complete till I arrived at the MARA's headquarters down the Jalan Raja Laut, Kuala Lumpur. Took the bloody commuter to reach Bank Negara, along the way standing upright holding to an aluminium rod because the coach was as always full of bloody people. Walked a few stones of steps to voila reach the MARA's building at almost 1 pm.

Greatly about my arrival was that, it was actually lunch time, Even though most of MARA's staff are Muslim Malays, and they are all fasting, they still need lunch time. I went to the third floor dear readers, where I should hand in the documents. I sat down at one couch and start rearranging all the forms in order. And it was nearly two seconds before 1 pm, that I walked to the receptionist. Greet one woman with salam, but sadly I was badly treated.

It was my bad frankly to say that I came at inappropriate time. She asked me what agreement was that, and I told her that I was one of the USM-KLE'S students. And she went looking puzzle for a sudden as if she doesn't know what is it. I was a bit pissed actually when they told me that they were tired, and asked me to come later. Haissh

And in the end, the agreements need to be corrected. I need to see my cousin again as he is the guarantor, to get his initials for every mistakes in that bloody booklets. HAHAHA. So, I left MARA's building with this frown face. Dad and I walked all the way to Masjid Jamek, crossing the forever crowded Jalan TAR and the hotness of Ramadhan to go to Indian Visa Centre somewhere near the Bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad (Jalan Lebuh Pasar Besar). Saw some tourists drinking coke like heaven brought up the tenses I tell ya! Takpee dugaan.

One thing I hate about KL is the those uniformed DBKL people who should function as our travel guide in KL. How pathetic that they don't even know where Lebuh Pasar Besar is. And what more the Visa Centre. Pity laa Malaysian. And after lotsa walking, guess who helped Dad and I to the Visa Centre? A kind hearted Arabic Man, who is a foreigner for GOD SAKE!!

I was relief when we actually got ourselves to the Visa Centre. Then, came another bad news. The Visa application time is already of at 2 pm. We reached there at 2.30 pm. And of course I was bloody disappointed. After all the walking, after all the sore throat and thirst. But Dad said, in KL weak people die early. You need to be strong to be in KL especially during Ramadhan. Dad was so strong. So rigid and so positive. He is a total opposite from me. I adore him a lot for that. He is willing to sacrifice his time to bear all these with me, syukur AlhamduLILLAH.

Back at home, mom was there. She is kinda mad at me for being so careless filling up these forms. I like always like to blame on things when I am in a bad mood, so all those blaming, made me tired and wearing out. HAHAHA. I slept after reaching home till Iftar. Didn't help mom sorting out the preparation for it though, what a daughter am I huh?

All these I should consider as dugaan. Allah Taala loves me dearly, so HE gives me all these obstacles again and again. I am blessed with a dad who forever is willing to accompany me and attending my amends. I am blessed to have a cousin who is willing to be my guarantor and going to and fro to attend my documents. T.T Syukur ya RABB for all these lovely people. Lovely life and lovely dugaan.

Monday, 8 August 2011

In Between Ramadan

Jaundice. Due to liver illness. Miss discussing on liver disease with SGS Group 11 during Pre Medicine at USA. Memory remains. This is one nice interactive knowledgeable game one can find online. Could be boring towards the end and confusing due to lots of medical terms and diseases plus symptoms which can be quite similar from one to another. HAHAHA. But I found myself a bit obsessed. Hope this obsessive last till the day I die. InsyaAllah. 

No need to register, no need to pay. Play it all free at Or just google Medical School Game and voi'la happy learning !! Takyah nak jadi doctor pun boleh...:)

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Book for the Souls.

Assalamualaikum dear readers :)

Ramadhan 2011 is going to approach it's second week already. What do we feel about this? Sad because it is going to end in another couple of weeks or we feel excited because Raya is looming? Tepuk dada tanya iman. AHAHA.

Ramadhan gives us more time to ponder on life and to start working out for things we usually missed out due to our meal time. Each meal takes approximately 10 to 30 minutes to end, thus, do the math and calculate how much spare time we obtain without the need to attend hunger?

My first Ramadhan's activity would be finishing some books in the collection. Lately, I have been in love with books for the souls, buku kerohanian rather than books for fun. And I am more into Bahasa Melayu's books. HEHEHE.

Isabella is the first book I would like to brag about. Bought it 2 months ago, in the intention to bring it along to UiTM Shah Alam during Pre Med, but it was kept dusty inside the drawer since it was so busy during that time. Ceh...

One word for Isabella would be mesmerizing. Isabella isn't a novel about the usual love story we found in typical books and it is not just about a woman named Isabella. More that, ISABELLA revolves around an Islamic Heroine. Srikandi Islam that we perhaps never heard before in our lives. 

Who is Isabella? Well, to know who she is, first we need to read the book. Basically, the book in my hand right now, is the new edition and it has been published over 20 years ago in Malaysia for the first time.

Back is Spain centuries ago, where Islam was about to spread all over Spain, lives Isabella, the daughter of the head of all priests. She is an intelligent, beautiful young woman, who many respects. Her father intended to bring her up just like Mary or Maryam, Mother of Isa A.S. He wanted Isabella's life fully dedicated to Christianity. Thus, Isabella had grown up to be one Christianity intellectual. 

Because of curiosity to find the truth, however, Isabella was attracted to the fact on Jesus Christ and the reason why 'Their Lord' was put to christ. Christians believed for ages that God sent down his 'prince/son' to Earth, to be Christ, to vanish or to wash away all sins there were on Earth. 

With intense debate among some Muslims' scholars, with the priests at one big church in Cordova, Isabella started to feel something wrong with the religion she have faith in. She even started to melt after listening to one surah recited by Umar Lahmi. By the way, it was Umar Lahmi who brought up the issue on Jesus being christ.

After some time, Isabella noticed how the priests and even her own father as the head, could not answer the all the questions asked by the muslims' scholars. Her faith became more shaky. She was so mad when her father didn't answer one question by Umar Lahmi instead he walked away because he was puzzled and he was blanked.

Because of that, Isabella was totally hundred per cent sure that ISLAM is the righteous religion and Allah S.W.T as the only God in the Universe. The book tells perfectly every detail on how Isabella was put into inquisitorial and was badly tortured in the dungent of the church as to bring her back to Christianity. However, she was strong till the end. No matter how harsh she was punch and kicked and slapped and hurt, she was still able to say and to confess that Allah is the only GOD, and Prophet Muhammad  S.A.W is HIS messenger. 

Isabella also revealed to Umar Lahmi and other Muslims about the dark and hidden sides of christianity. How nuns were treat as sex slaves to the priests and many other activities which sounded 'syirik' and khurafat. In the end, towards the end, Isabella was successfully released from torture and brought back to Islam and officially reverted to Islam. She then started learning hadith and the Quran, soon becoming a respected and prominent reference for Hadith. She was unbeatable in debates regarding Christianity and Islam. She even succeed to revert one famous Christian believer to Islam. 

This great woman died at the age of 80 and along her life, she had dedicated her energy and her wisdom to the spread of Islam all over Spain. Her demise was mourned and even some Muslims across the globe pray for her. Al FATIHAH to Isabella. A Muslim Heroine who definitely should we put as an example:)

SubhanALLAH. Grateful to be destined with this incredible novel. A must read for sure.

To those out there, please buy yourself and get this wonderful Novel right away.RM16 for an amazing and inspirational novel is nothing compared to its priceless story and knowledge. Indulge yourself and seek for the truth now. And thanks to Dato Abdullah Hussain for translating this wonderful story for us to learn and inspire. 

Friday, 5 August 2011

Havoc and Mercy

Assalamualaikum dear readers,

How are our fasting progressing? Any better? AlhamduLILLAH for the chances to feel Ramadan till this very day. 
Well, my preparation to leave to India, is by far approaching 90%. Ceh. Hahaha. But still clothes are unpack, foods to be brought along haven't been bought and yes, I am telling you I am 90% ready? Yeah right.

So, this recent Monday, Encik Redza from MARA contacted me, informing me to take my MARA's agreement letter which almost look like a pillow in an envelope. Luckily, mom and dad were so kind enough to drive all the way to Jln Raja Laut, KL for it. I guess they really really care for me. AlhamduLILLAH.

The office was crowded with both youths and the 'mid' elderly. The woman at the receptionist wasn't rude nor polite. She asked my name thrice and I was like a log waiting for the officer to find my agreement and offer letter. Signed the log book and rushed off to SOGO for shopping. Thankfully, I wasn't in the mood to shop, even though got one blouse...cittt off story.

Anyhow, before I rushed home from MARA's building, I did asked the man who handed me my parcel of documents, when should I send the agreement back. He harshly tell me to send it by THIS UPCOMING MONDAY THE 8TH AUGUST. I was like Ya Allah....with tonnes of them need signatures, some need guarantors and lotsa complicated things to be done, they want it by MONDAY? How great. 

But, the time limit that I was given had somehow put me in this amazing velocity to work hard to get what I want. Of course, it is the 2nd most important agreement I ever had in my life after my agreement to be Allah's slave for the last 19 years, and this one valued so much to me. I am now going to pursue medicine with funds from the People. People's fund. No way I am gonna burn it all to ashes. Half a million ringgit is the worth. InsyaAllah, I will do my very best, to make it all happen.

Just today, I almost finished up 50% of the agreements. All the forms that needed important verification have been  completed. My cousin is kind enough to be one of the guarantor, the first is my mother. Then, I am also done with medical-checkups, took the HEP B AND C shots as well as HIV-did the X-Ray again -.-' and did the urine test. It was shocking however, to notice how high my diastolic pressure is (124/90) and to note that I got blood in my urine, which then gives me this scary feeling that maybe I have kidney problem T.T. All in all, I still feel I am a bit of shaky to note as a healthy woman. This is the repercussion for leading a sedentary lifestyle for almost a year. Blaming myself is what I can at least do though. I am just too lazy to work out. T.T

Anyhow, back at home after that, I told the rest of my future coursemates, that the agreements need to be handing it back by this upcoming Monday. Then the HAVOC begins. I sort of starting it though. Some of my future coursemates, haven't received theirs yet and they started shaking in fear. But then, when a girl call the MARA's officer, they gave another due date which is the 10th August. AND I really feel bad, it feels like I am putting them into this almost wrecking ship already. My friend, Darina, already burst into tears knowing she got 2 days to complete everything up. I am so guilty. But, I really did heard the officer said 8TH AUGUST. Dang. 

Whatever it is, I am glad that they put a new date for it. At least, things will be completed in a manner of neat and proper. I bet my friend Darina can wipe all her tears of worry now. Hahaha. I am so afraid she would change her mind, and go to UniMAS instead of India. Just pray she won't though..

GAHHHH penat....anyhow, thankfully Allah gives mercy to complete all these. If not, it would be war. HAHAHA. And I hope I won't have to redo my medical check-up though....since I did it at AZ ZAHRA, Bangi. Emmm...till then. I will nag again don't worry. ;p