The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Monday, 14 October 2013


It's irony how nowadays, we subject a person or a troop of people according to their religion. Some westerners, or those of liberal thinking; would perhaps still consider Muslims with all those beard, those white hat (kopiah) and women with burqa or black veils; are terrorists. This explains all the banning issues against many Muslim women worldwide on wearing a head cover.

Well, clearly while many others fight for their right to wear head covers or scarves; there are still more out there who do not realize the concept of covering our aurah is a MUST and COMPULSORY. Not merely necessities. Sad isn't it? Thank God; for Allah, The Almighty Lord; is The Forgiver, alhamdulillah:)

People often misinterpret humanity. They always pin point the religion. For example, if one acknowledge another a syiah; automatically they will have to picture some sort of Basshar Al Assad regime in Syria. Well I had experience something we call 'Humanity that matters'. Something of that mindset that we have to tuned ourselves to, so that we don't judge. Instead, be experienced. Or in other words; do not judge the books by their covers. And I must emphasized; we Muslims; are supposed to always husnudzon (Thinking only good towards something or someone) first, before putting labels, but yet, many of us still fail to do so. I am too at times. Lets repent and switch our mindset. 

Bandra West, looks like a big city but behind those are slums.

When I went to Mumbai two years back, my friends and I had trouble in the search for a good silent place to solah, to pray in the crowd of Colaba. We entered to one shoe shop owned by a Muslim. Unfortunately, the water supply somehow shuts that time so we were really at end wits to where we should perform our solah. They then, showed us the route to a nearby musolah. It was Friday noon that time, so you could imagine how many Muslim men were there at the musolah.

Apparently, we were looking at each other, and asked ourselves how could we passed by all these men who were listening to Khutbah. Though we were a bit perplexed why the shoe shop owner we went earlier didn't actually go for the Jumuah solah. Then, there's a lady who came from the musolah, approached us, and led us the way. For women, they have this one small room (very small, can accommodate one bed kinda room), so we saw some women in black robes (Jubah) and black veils (Burqa') who were performing solah in there. And the room for wudhuk was somewhere else. 

ALLANA HOUSE, COLLABA :) The musolah where we pray. 

Of course, it wasn't much of a surprise that the women didn't pray like we 'did'. I mean, I am quite well versed of the difference in our mazhab. Most Muslims in India they practice Mazhab Hanafi, which didn't require them to really cover their feet while solah/prayer. So, they saw us 'differently' and started staring. All we could do was to reciprocate their stares hehehe :) 

Oh did I tell you that McDonald around Colaba isn't Halal? Well, upon coming here, there are a lot of doubts regarding any fast food's restaurant's status. Our seniors who had been there, told us we should not worry because yes, it's halal. But in the Musolah, Fariyal, a good friend of mine who was among those who is most peculiar about Halal food, asked one woman after finishing our prayer. Well, what to do then? Our craving for McDonald was let down after knowing it's not Halal. Rather, we had our lunch in a local Muslim restaurant called Olympia. It was still nice though but of course pricey.

the restaurant almost close (they don't have lunch at 3 pm)

Nothing could express our gratitude to Allah Al Mighty for showing us the way and ease our intention to do our obligation. Not many masjids of any kind would let women to enter and solat. But something really shocked me during my research for Ethnic studies in 2nd year. 

We went to Bhendi Bazaar to interview this local Imaam, as for Ethnic project on Islamic religion; comparison between that of in Malaysia and India. I told our experience, and somehow, the Imaam told us that the musolah we entered might not be of that of a Muslim. Because, in India all masjids disallowed women to enter since most women don't even pray. And because most of them are not Sunni, or following the Mazhab Syafiee. 

What sadden me the most is to know that, many Muslims, in India, treat their wives just as to keep them at pleasure, do house chores, take good care of the children and that's basically it. No need to teach them regarding Islam or to guide them towards it. Plus we got to know the musolah we went to in Mumbai was a place of worship for a religion or belief called Bahai. 

Bahai if I am not mistaken is one of the 'Syirik' and misleading belief as well as misleading preaching there is in this world. But how come those people, even if it's true they aren't Muslims could let us pray in their place? As if they saw the hardships or difficulty that we faced during that time to find the place to do so. This really touched my heart. They are seriously humane to me. Humane in knowing that we were in difficulty and willing to help as well as respecting our religion. 

Isn't that just blessed to experience such a wonderful thing. Humanity doesn't count whether you are a Muslim, a Syiah, a Christian, Hindu or even an Atheist. It is one kind of 'blessing' or gift that Allah puts in our hearts but most people couldn't show. The war or the slaughtering of humans made by those tyranny in Syria; those are not humanity; but see how the people from all over the world voiced out the hatred towards violence towards those innocents Syrians. Remember there's a circulating photo of Muslim men who were praying were guarded by Christian men in a circle because there was a riot in Egypt recently? All those are humanity. Humanity doesn't stick just to a particular religion. They go by heart. Only those with clean hearts could express it and show it. May Allah bless us with such hearts :)

>>p/s: loving to reminisce first year, where all of us were more united. But then I realize I am the one who's putting a distance between my colleagues and myself. Pardon me, but I guess I am just a loner:)>>

Sunday, 6 October 2013


"Apa tarbiyah dayana ye?"
"Dayana, nak share?"
"Dayana, iman macam mana hari ni?"

Those questions which some of you guys or some of my friends who happen to read them, feel quite as well easy to reply. To give answers. For me, these are killer questions. Killer than a question of when will I get married or to engage. Gulp.

For some reason, before I return to Belgaum for my third year; I had set this goal to grab every opportunities that come knocking at my door. Grab that and just do it! . I was so eager to come back. To return to my usrah mates and all. But guess what I did mentioned when reaching Bangalore airport? I said to my friends, I can't wait to return to Malaysia again T.T

I remember how I first joined all this usrah sitting was in my first year. Someone, anonymously pasted a note on my door asking me to join a sitting in someone else's room. It was my dear friend Mer's room. I was perplexed and almost follow Fariyal's sitting or picnic. Hahaha. Then I realized, I got 'selected'. Got selected to Ohana :)

Those were the times, we were all bunch of innocent 'little girls'. Who know nothing more except coming to India to study, become a doctor yada yada yada. Things were mostly just approaching 'Wahan; a love towards dunya. Until at one point, every usrah mates you had in your sitting, start to change bit by bit. You know you are stepping ahead towards something more 'secured' than anything you could ever had wish upon for. Towards better-ment. Towards something eternal happiness.

My friend D, whom I met in Premed UiTM, who also almost became my roommate; was among my usrahmates who had go so far in this 'Path' towards becoming a better muslimah. I just couldn't describe in words of how she has changed but all I know is yes, she has changed, 180 degree. I somewhat do not recognize her anymore. It's a miracle how the deen can immediately change her. Her personality, her actions, words uttered out from her mouth. SubhanALLAH!

Then, now that is she is happily married (at my age), it simply shows how beautiful Allah is taking care of her, protecting her. Not only that, I also kind of envy for the fact that my friend D is spreading happiness and goodness of tarbiyah in everyone. Of course, not everyone is being gifted with such capabilities. Everything goes just too fast for D. But I am happy for her !

Again, recently a new friend, Amirah Lina, shared this verse 57:16 from the Quran.

Has the time not come, for you Dayana? As if Allah asked me this on my face. It hurts. After almost three years, have I not yet realized? That there is better things to chase for. There are better things that I should hold on to? Because I've felt the pain, the staggering pain when chasing for something not even close to security. Not even an ant size close. It's hurting waiting for love which is not even true. Yet, I still hold on to some sort of false promises. How weak.

It has been almost a month for third year I am here. I've updating in twittah how clueless my life is. Suddenly, those spirit to start searching and those awakening boost I've set before I came back here all gone. Well, can't blame CFCS though. But seriously, I was in my calamity of thoughts. I was between "Yes I can do this!" and "What if what if I lost"

Truth is, what my previous Naqibah said is true. Joining some sort of Qudwah Hasannah is indeed a hard thing to do. But once you have step into and out of that journey; your heart will bloom with flowers. I want to feel that flowers. I want to have those flowery moments and thoughts with all these sisters who are in the same path with me. But I guess, I just need to try a little bit harder.

Then came another video sharing. Remember Salahuddin Al Ayubbi; one of the greatest leader and king that ever lived. Who opened Palestine? He was so great that even then everyone loved him. Even the non believers. And when he died, everyone mourned so bad. Until today, there are no leaders or kings as great as him. Those who went to his tomb and grave, even cried and 'pray' so that Salahuddin would wake up and save Palestine, Syria, Iraq and all. How irony? Now that the lives are asking a favor from someone who had deceased? How irony. How weak. How pathetic!

What are we now really? I see myself as such a supine-spineless person. Who even to join a sitting for usrah is still hard for me to say OK directly. What am I? What are we? Where are we heading to?

So yes people. We all need reminders. Let them be youtube videos (Please make full use of youtube, do more lah! ), let them be your friends, like myself, I envy over my roommates who is not also holding a high position in students association here but also a daie and let them be the Quran itself.

Aidan, a dear friend, hit me hard on my head. "Please don't be a spoil brat people!" She said recently. True, friends are there, to remind you of your Tarbiyah Dzatiyah (Tarbiyah when we are alone) and Tarbiyah Jamaiee (Tarbiyah when we are together). Yes! I agreed on the fact that I am spoiled. All I did was getting spoon-fed. I was not doing all the things for Allah. I put Allah on the second or third priority. I put 'friends' as my first. How would the others see me if I didn't do certain things? Maybe if I start joining them for all these Islamic lectures, I'll be part of them. Those were my thoughts. Just so wrong to think back.

I know Islam is not about uniformity, but unity. Yet, I am still found it hard so hard soo soo hard to start, and build that UNITY among these wonderful sisters here. And if the unity is not what I yet to feel or to 'get', how would I spread dakwah?

Just do it ! That's the perfect answer for now.

>> If you love someone, stop giving false hopes. <<