The Entity

My photo
Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

Welcome Message

And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Friday, 15 January 2010

Found something:)

Hi. Wow, today a lot of surprises arose. I just can't believe how happy my family was, when my little brother, got an offer to pursue his Form 4 and Form 5 studies in SM Sains Seremban. He will be going there on February 2010, and he was so thrill when we informed him the news. Good job!~ Alhamdulillah. Still I got a slight sad feeling since my only brother is leaving for boarding school...waaa! No one to tickle the bones with anymore.

Well, today is a free day for me. I was like so bored staying at home. I woke up quite late like usual after fell asleep right after Subuh. Upon awaken, I took my bath and started to tidying up my messy, dusty room. Eww...there's many falling hair all over. They are all my hair....I have hair fall since 2 years ago. Cut the crap....Ok...then I emptied my old cupboard, which is fulled of Form 3 textbooks. Then...I found something very memorable. My tears running down the cheek. A simple chat-notes my friends and I used to have during our boring time listening to a talk 2 years back.

this is what we called chat-notes, a very useful way of 'chatting' in an event

Not only, I found the notes, but I also found a class photo when we were in FORM 3 in SMK Kajang Utama. There were 45 of us in a class room, I think. Can't actually recall it. However, form 3 was a blast. I miss Lee Tsun Tatt,the class monitor, the teacher, Puan Marhaini, Sofiah Nur, a good friend, and also Chen Khai Xuen, a stuck-up boy.

Find me~2x

Rather than those two stuff, I found this box. Not a music box. Not a treasure box. But, a box of my first handphone, which I got it from dad. Sadly, that phone is no longer belongs to me, since it was stolen from me, when I was in Form 4. It happened because of my silly mistake, left the phone inside the school bag. Yes people. Serve me right:( I was so sad, because I left so many important documents in the phone, not to mention some photos taken during The Anti Crime Club meeting in Kedah.

The je yang tinggal:(

Monday, 11 January 2010

Belajar dulu laaa adik2

You juniors...SPM is really important. For you guys who don't like to spend money on tuitions or lazy to write are some thing I can do for you. A note on additional math, hope you like it...anything you wanna ask, kindly ask me at

click to enlarge kids...

next: we will see how to solve common problems involving functions..

Photos after 2 weeks out from S.C.H.O.O.L

I don't know how long is exactly I have been living as a SPM leaver. Maybe two weeks or 3 weeks. But, that doesn't matter. What matters is that what have I been doing for this long break, at least till I get my SPM results.

You readers might be bored to read my posts, which mostly dwell with my troubles and problems in daily life. Rambling about how bad is life. Yes, whether I like it or not, life is bad. No one will ever find an eternal relaxation or happiness in their life as human beings, but as long as they know how to cope with the reality, InsyaALLAH, everything will be as fine as ALLAH wants it to be.

Now, let's look at some random photos snapped by the author of the blog (moi) for the couple of days and weeks. Might not be artistic but at least, they're natural photos without editing.

That's all...

Friday, 8 January 2010

Bronchitis? Gulp:(

My weak body, weakened due to the super-duper-weak immune system. Can you guys believe that, just because of having Cappuccino ice blended a week ago, I have to suffer from this bad condition of sickness namely BRONCHITIS. >.<

Well, it happened when I was childishly saw this new-ice blended kiosk in Metro Kajang a week before. I happened to be wanting that ice blended so much, even though I am not the kind of person, that like cold beverages or such. Meowww...and it cost me 3 ringgit...

It was not as delightful as Star bucks' but I guess it was worth the money. So, I drank it with all my might. (mcmlah susah sgtkan:()) Anyhow, at night, suddenly, I shivered, my head was so heavy, as if I had experience an enormous impulsive force on the head. I could not sleep that night, I feel irritated on the throat, and my eyes swollen because of insufficient sleep.

The next day, my family and I went to Ikea, and I again felt terrible. Ikea is a gigantic, showrooms of furniture, so I was so exhausted walking in that humongous building. I told my aunt I felt like vomiting, and so, the entire family got out of the place.

So, I was really sick. And yesterday, my father reckoned me to see our personal doctor, Dr. Mazlan whom owned a clinic nearby. Well, the exact purpose to see him, was to ask his opinions on studying medicine, since his daughter is also pursuing the studies in Egypt. I told him about studying in Russia, and he said, Russia is definitely not a good option. This is due to the racism problem and also the lack of conduciveness of the country. He recommends Egypt as the best place. But I still have to wait for my SPM results, and very anxious about it, because my entire dream depends on it.

Besides, I was diagnosed to have BRONCHITIS as I mentioned earlier. An acute inflammation of the air passages within the lungs due to infection or other cause such as inhaling smoke and etc. Go here to find out more {Bronchitis, what is it?}

Thursday, 7 January 2010

My Dreams they ruined

Hi. So, here I'm again, sitting on the old bossy chair, smudging my weak fingers on the keyboard. I have exactly no strength to show people how I can be a 'person' because, I am not person. It's not something that I usually trying to tell people, but it's a truth.

Yesterday, I underwent a terrible experience in Bangi. I was at Bangi for a test on the theories of driving so that I can pursue the next level to get my damn driving license. I hate it so much, because it cost me to wait like a big hippo for a long time. Imagine, reaching there at about 9 a.m and only returned at 6 p.m. However, luckily, I passed the stupid test, if not, you won't be seeing much of my stupid posts down here. >.<

Whilst waiting for my bloody turn, just to answer the 50-questions, I got a miss call from Dr. Zul, well to be truth, his wife. His wife was so nice to me. And, down here were the dialogue between Dr Zul's wife and I...about opportunity to Russia.



"Hi, Dayana! So, have you decided whether you still interested to join the accelerated medical program?"

"Ah?....I still, not quite parents...I failed to convince them.."

"But, my husband (Dr.Zul) and I will be in KL tomorrow, maybe you can ask your parents to come and see us and discuss this matter?"

"Oh...I see...but I still have to talk to them. They just don't quite believe in this program. They said, that I might not get a sponsorship if I followed this program as it is considered as a private program. But, I on the other hand, want it so much"

"Tell you parents that this is a good opportunities. Even MRSM sent their students to Russia. Russia State Medical University, is a well-trusted medical school. Why that they seemed so scared of sending you there?"

"Well, they listened to some stories back then, where Malaysians graduated from that school, didnt get recognized by the government, hence hardened them to work in the country"

"OH....That's not true. A lot of students graduated as doctors from that school are well recognized. Even my daughter and my son were RSMU graduates, they got their jobs as soon as they got graduated...and not to mention, lecturers from several local universities, sent their kids to do medic at Russia."
"Can I still follow the program if my parents agree on this at the last minute. I mean, joining it a bit late?"

" can't. You only have the chance till this Sunday, because the class starts on Monday. I am so sorry. But, we will be in KL tomorrow. Ask your parents again"

"Ah,...ok...I will try. Thank you..."

That was the conversation I had. I was very sure on that moment, that I will succeed to convince, to show my rigid reasons why I want to go for this program so much. And, I came home smiling yesterday, with full of enthusiasms, trying to explain why they should invest some money for know what I get??? These:
" are inconsiderate!! You should know that this course means a lot of money!! We are not that rich, young lady!!!"

"Dayana, why you want Russia??! Tell me NOW! You want to study medicine or GO TO RUSSIA???!!"

"Stop this nonsense!! You don't even know who Dr Zul is. Who knows he might be some kind of a conman, trying to do business by this particular way. And why ARE you too rushing about this!!!? Tell me NOW!"

"If I invest this, will you survive in Russia??? What will you eat??? Tell me! Will Dr Zul take care of your amenities or your needs as soon as you reach there..Who knows, after getting the money, he will leave you astray in that country...and serve you right..."

And the worst line I got from my dearest mother was...

"You are such a weird person....I don't UNDERSTAND you"

**Then, she went off, without much concern, how I feels, what I want in life and who I am...**
You not like I love to tell bad stories about my mother or my father. I love them with all my heart. I don't want to do bad things in this world, because I know, soon or later on ALLAH could punish me for my wrong doings especially the wrongs towards my parents. I love them dearly, again I mentioned, sadly, I am so confused and disappointed when at times, they never let me to enjoy myself. To let me pursue life that I wanted. They never understand what I really want in this temporary life. All I want is the fullest of life, while I can still could do it. While, I am still strong and capable. I don't want to be missed. I don't want to miss BIG opportunities ahead. If they read this, I might or may get blasted, get kicked out of the house or get a big handful-slap, but I won't be blaming that for doing that, because they have the right whatsoever...

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Two heads different brains

I had just seen the ad on the latest stupid Malay movie called '2 Hati 1 Jiwa'. Or if I quietly translate it into English version, it would be, called, 'One heart and One Soul'. The irony is that, behind this beautiful phrase, lies a lie.

Frankly, I don't think there will ever be two people, sharing the same souls. This phrase came in handy to sweet couples, or those who had just married, for two people cladding themselves as best friends or for those brothers and sisters that always together. In my case, there is no such thing, as two in one. Two hearts sharing the same soul, is irrelevant. Only Nescafe or Coffee in sachet can be 3-in-1 and so on.

In my life, I never had anyone understanding me. Opps, No! I have. She is my dearest friend named Myms, (not real name). I usually have fun with her whenever we two met. Until now, we never actually got into cat fights, and that is pretty a good thing. We had so much fun during job hunting, and at last she off with her job meanwhile I struggling to make my parents understand what life I want after SPM ends, and for part-time...bye-bye...I will never work for now.

I always love the movie Forrest Gump (did I spell it right?). If you have seen this wonderful movie, you must noticed a woman, a strong woman called mommy that eventually never ever leave her son alone. Her son, quite a retarded boy-at last grown, and become very independent, owning his own company of importing and exporting shrimps. For the better, I really adore, how this one mom, BELIEVE in her son whatsoever he did despite his condition. Her love was so strong and rigid. Sadly, what will I get in returned by praising this woman, she's just an actress after all. In real life, such moms will only be found 3 or 4 in thousands.

For real, I still can't speak to my mum. I feel hurt after what she did to me, but at the same time, I knew I've hurt her by being ignorant. I will never succeed in making her to believe in me, in what I wanna do in life. She asked, "WHY won't you just take a nice break, you have just finished SPM".

If only I could answer, "I want to do better. I don't want to procrastinate. I just want to use the time I have to the fullest".

But then again, she wants me to wait wait wait....and let my brain dries...

*sorry to those mentioned. I am just being frank. Frank as it is*

When two tongue twisted

I finally take all the guts I have to bring it into discussion with my mother. A discussion about the accelerating course of medicine. And, after 10 minutes of crying and tongue twisted...I think I've got the answer.

It is a NO. NO MEDIC ....for RUSSIA. BYE2 for now.

Wondering why my parents always doubt me for things that I am sure of. Again things I wanted go astray....

Friday, 1 January 2010

confused and dilemma

One fine day, my cyber friend, named F, recommended me a very exciting scheme that would be a fast tract to make me a doctor. I at first thought it was a joke.

F gave me a phone number of an agent named DR. Z and I text this man two days later, because I could not bare to say no to such a wonderful opportunity. This doctor called me the next morning, when I was just awaken from a terrible sleep. Yes, he sounded like a trusted authority. And, he asked me to jot down some information about the scheme.

Apparently, I can't do much of the decision myself since I have to always ask my parents' permission. My parents were and are still a bit suspicious of the man, and I have found out this scheme needs me to invest a lot of money but it is still consider a low cost for the duration of six years, including getting a chance to study at Russian State Medical University. :) I really want this!

Based on the information I gathered through F, this scheme is like a foundation of medical studies in Malaysia for 6 months, and then continued the rest in the university I mentioned earlier. Comparing to the standard way of studying medicine, I might have to go to matriculation if I get the offer, and spend at least 2 years, for studying and getting a pointer of 4.00 flat. Getting a pointer of 4 flat, is not as easy as cooking maggie. And should I say, I failed to get that pointer, I might wish myself a farewell to become a doctor. But, I really want to be a doctor, it is my dream for the past 8 years till now. I want to fulfill it.

So, I have been thinking of this matter since a week ago. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat just because of this. It's my future. I am worried. And, I am so in dilemma, and confused. My friends told me that I should waited for my results. Parents on the other hand wanting me to finish the driving lesson first. But, I still wanting to do the medical program.

Yesterday, my dad at last granted his promise to contact the Dr Z. He discussed about the scheme. And, explained it later, after they finished discussing. My father was not like what I expected. He seemed so relax after the talk (although just over the phone). He explained about the pathways to become a medical student, about matriculation and such. He understood now that the scheme is a much faster track to fulfill his daughter's dream (me laa:) However, he is much preferred to bring me to Egypt. Studying medicine in Egypt according to him will bring more benefits to me, such as the religion issues, easiness to adapt, and according to him, there are more Malaysians studying in that country, so it will much easier for me to refer to them, should say, I have problems.

Sadly, I don't want to study in Egypt. This is because, I'm afraid the accommodation and the technologies in Egypt are not much as better as in Russia, well Russian State Medic. University, is the 2nd best in the world. Ashraf, a junior-friend of mine, just replied, and asked whether studying in Russia will be certified by the country, and he said it will be a boring galore. I don't really care about boredom since it's not for fun, it's for the brain, for the future. But, I really worried about the certified issue, because, there had been some news I heard a couple of years back, telling about uncertified medical students graduated from Russia.

So Should I do this?