The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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Sunday, 19 August 2012

Aidilfitri and letting go

Salam aidilfitri, to all dear readers. Yes, it's Eid Mubarak already and it feels so soon for Ramadhan to leave us. Surely, every one will have their own nostalgic moment of both Ramadhan and Eid. I can say that Ramadhan is better to be remembered. This year alone, I had got the chance to feel the loneliness of celebrating Ramadhan a far from home, from family. Definitely, ifthor without mom and dad seems different.

Also, this year alone, it feels different when I have to rush things off just to have some time to see my expanded family because of time constraint. Only now that I realize time is so precious, because you know that you are getting older and the older you become, the possibility for you to have the same moment with the family members declines. Yes people, it is a negative thought, but we can't never stop Allah's power and Allah's knowledge. 

About a few months ago, some friends from asasi did have this idea to see each other, to have ifthor together. Well, I can say that I am very much disappointed because many of them didn't say anything during this ramadhan, keeping silent as a mouse and just missing in action. Perhaps, something happened to them that they no longer want to cherish the friendship. I can't understand, but I am learning to understand and let go.

Plus, tomorrow it's Eid. I want to see mak teh's face as much as I could. She who is my favourite aunt, is sick and doesn't seem to be better. Her diabetes is worsen. She did say, perhaps the next time I return, she might no longer be here with us. Which is sad, but then again, I have to learn to let go. And let her go, if that is what it meant to be.

And I only have like 4 days for syawal and then I am off straight to attend the PPSL thingy at USM. I like everyone feel bad of going because holidays become shorter that way; but sometimes we need changes to the way we spend our holidays. Just wanting to brush up some social skills that I am lacking, and that's why I am attending a camp in Penang from 25th till 29th of August and then another 4 days in USM Kubang Kerian till 5th September. Did I mention my date of returning to India is on the 9th of September? it's a short holiday.

Perhaps, this holiday, I can't fulfill my wish to see dear teachers, classmates from school and Puncak Alam that I miss dearly; thus I hope it won't be like this for my next return. Only that it is so sad that when Eid approaches, the date for me to be apart from my family is getting nearer. *Bursting into tears, womanly tears*

>>p/s: I am not yet a doctor yet people in the family keep calling me doctor. I pray their words are du'a so that the dream can be accomplished. Together with that, it is a sacrifice in a matter of time; lesser time with the family. And there's always a need to sacrifice to be successful. Hope people don't jot me as over ambitious>>