The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Semester Two Chapter 1

Semester II is now here. Four to five months left to be endured here at the peak of Puncak Alam and do the very best and squeezed the brain and whatsoever efforts we have to kick a leg in order to achieve amazing pointers. But still, only been there for a week, and I already got bored. Hahaha :D Seriously, I got bored so easy.

On Monday, the 22nd, a talk was conducted by the UPU officers or whatever they called regarding the way to do the online application for our degree level. Seriously, I have some objections on the very talk. But I will tell you later in other post. 

So, a week had passed. Now, left with 13 weeks if I am not mistaken. Being in the new mass lecture group is not fun I tell ya. I can only smile there since I got my favourite lecturers back, like Prof Ahmad, whom like to attack me in the lecture hall, but I like that, literally speaking. Well, the previous mass group B consisting of other group B's was better in term of chemistry. I don't know, I just feel like we are all belong together. Now, being the only B group in the new mass group, felt bizarre a bit. We are now gathered with group D1 and D3, which are comprising of all boys. The other groups are all girls group, and left with us, the only 'mixed' group. 

Everyday, we have to be more punctual than ever and early to class. The boys group always on the head to snatch the front seats in the halls, so it is kinda hard for us the girls to get the front seats. Everyone now with the new spirit, and no one wants to sit at the back, except those who are really 'coward' to sit in front. Hahaha. My friend who came early, booked the front seats for her and her friends, and she went out a while before the lecturer came in. Without her noticing, the boys, started to fill in the front seats, and snatched the seats she had booked earlier. They didn't even care whether the seats have already been reserved. Even if we put our bags or notebooks on the seats, the boys will just pick them up, and put them aside, then take away the seats. Hahaha. Now it is the battle between two genders! No more late comers!

Em, going to class is fun, because seeing the friends who can chat a lot is the best thing ever. We need to talk to live! Seriously, I can't talk that much with my roommate, and being in the room is so boring that I can be dead of boredom. The other housemates now, being really silent, and probably they were doing their studies? But, I hate silence! I wanna chaos! and VOICES!

Thanks to my whole life world funniest friend, Dina Azureen, for being there for me. She cheered my day like always. Thanks for the morning jog, and I knew you were damn sleepy that morning, but still I forced you. Thanks for not being sleepy. And not to mention, thanks for willing to return to our math lecture hall after it ended, because I accidentally, dropped my matriculation card there. I don't know what will I be if you weren't there :') 

And, it is great to have Azneeza, Azyan, Eliz and Adibah and Jira as well. I like talking to them all! :) And yeah, let's make semester II better for the last of it. 

>>p/s: I am sorry for those I hurt either by accident or purposely. I am sorry that I can like you like you like me. Sometimes feelings can't be forced, and sometimes, we have to bear in mind that, when we have no vibes with some people around us, even if they are nice and kind, it is probably due to the difference of frequency Plus, give space for people, when people got annoyed and pissed. Period.<<<

Sunday, 21 November 2010

Habis juga. Opening a new page.

Finally, this is it! The final semester 1 break is over. In a flash, I tell ya. Like always, I'd say,  "Wow, sekejapnya cuti! Seriously cepat:'("

And, yeah today, I figured out, even it's a holiday or the normal college day, nothing would be fun. Just plainly boring as it is. Many plans didn't work out. Movies marathon was not been completed and accomplished due to several reasons. Now, this is boring. 

In a couple of minutes, I'll be heading to a wedding reception, my cousin sister is married to a tall-good looking guy :D and yeah, I am still single (saje bagitau). Then, heading to Mak Teh's house, which is a very good place to eat lavish food and seeing Khayra Amani whom is the cutest niece in the whole life world. After that, the end of Sunday, and Hello Puncak Alam, and Semester II. 

Hopefully, I make it through with a big smile on my face, and yeah, getting more physical. For the deathly stairs, yeah, you too, will I see later on. And, to see most of my favorite bloggers in the Daragoy section, to post nice posts of theirs is a joy, but the one I like most is dead. I mean not literally. But, yeah, he is just dead. Being grown up, is a bad thing after all. For me la, not for you of course. 

Friday, 19 November 2010

Forget you alright

Nice song from Glee.

I really wanna have a group of happiness like what I saw in Glee.

Glee is fun, and just so brilliant in cheering up my day.

Forget the song. I tend to watch this over and over.

So good!

Thursday, 18 November 2010

MUET Second Session end 2010

Malaysian University English Test (MUET) laid down its curtain on last Saturday the 13th November 2010. That was the second session comprising of reading, writing and listening. To be frank, it's neither easy nor tricky. I would say it was neutral. 

Every students in Malaysia, who wanna pursue his or her degree in the local University, MUST at least score the MUET at band 3. Well, for foundation in science students, like me, that is the least score I should make for the very test. Many told me MUET is easy and it's like answering normal English paper, but seriously, if you haven't really expose to English in a long run, the thought could be amputated. It has been a quite while since I ever talk to anyone in English and even write factual essay so I had hard time and this is not a joke :(.

Reading was the first to be encountered. Oh before that, I really think I used the wrong pen. Do we have to use black pen in every paper we are answering? Seriously, I only noticed that everyone was using a black pen instead of me during the listening session. I am afraid that I did used the wrong colour pen, and I am scared that my paper would be disqualified. Please tell me I am wrong people! Ok back to the main point, reading is fun when you can read fast and understand many bombastic words like a flash of lightning. 4 passages, which are long and confusing needed to be trim and scanned in 90 minutes. Questions are MCQ, but I always confuse with false and not stated choices. Hope I did them well though. :'(

Writing was next after given a plainly 10 minutes break. least we should been given a free brunch no? Anyways, writing comprised of two tasks. Task A was a summary. But I already forgotten the topic that came out. Hahaar so fast eh? I don't know why, but I forget things VERY EASY nowadays. But, still, I remember the task B, it was a factual essay that needed to be up to 350 words at least. Mine was over the limit, because I engulfed with the topic ARRANGED MARRIAGE so much. I jotted down some relevant ideas before starting to write, but like always, I failed to use the ideas, instead came up with what comes up while writing down those words. T.T Hope they can read it. My handwriting is worst than boys'.

And last but not least, LISTENING was the last to be done. Radios were turning on, and we have to listen to three conversation made by the family of Doe. I was quite unsatisfied by how the test was conducted. The voices were a bit hard to hear, since it was held in a plainly classrooms with other classrooms side by side. Echoes were heard elsewhere. It was supposed to be done in a sound proof chamber no? Like the recording studio kinda room? Right? But, whatever it went, I had a blast of boredom. 

I don't want to have high expectations for it may not come in the right way like I want it too. Tawakal is the best option and the least I can do now. Plus, after knowing that my cgpa wouldn't make it through premedic course in UiTM, I feel jaded AGAIN. Bye-bye hopes to study in Malaysia:'( Bye-Bye UiTM, Bye-bye UKM :'(

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Making Money

To be a student is a hard work. Thinking how fast time flew, and how abruptly you have used all the allowances is a nightmare. Good students are given scholarships, some take that as a responsibility and some just plainly don't because, perhaps, they come from a well-being family. But, still some just plainly act low profile, use the money only on something important and save the rest. Maybe money doesn't mean anything to them.

A month plus plus of holidays finally laid down it's curtain. It was boring to know that holidays were spent with nothing but excessive sleeping and blogging and chatting nonsense via skype. But knowing how those days where you don't have to worry about what will happen the next day is heaven! I will only have them back when semester II ends, on the late of March 2011.

Having a degree on medicine is something I really wish would come true. No hard work, no pray, no perseverance, and no entry given would make it just plainly a dream. I still on my wits end thinking on other options. Sorry to note that I have none. Saying you want to be something and had that something for your career just because you have dream for it the whole life, is pathetic. And pathetically, it happens to me. To be rich by being a doctor, is a certain not. But, why when people ask what I wanna do with life, the answers would give rise to those that need money to be settled down? 

Three friends so far have invited me to join a business venture. I can say that it's not a bizarre thing. They came online nicely and sent messages nicely, to ask me to join them in the Score A business, which as for me, thought of it more likely as Marketing Level thingy, which, frankly speaking, kinda hard to be trusted. Thanks Hanif, Fidrie and Azeryl for that many many explanations on the program. Really appreciate them. But to start ahead, joining them is not easy. It needs money still! Where am I gonna find that so much money?   God knows. 

Listing 20 names that I know best, who can really help lend me RM 50 per person is a tough thing to do. I never really had ask people for funds. Even for a RM 10, it feels awkward. But, if they are willing to help lending me some money, it is for the business sake. And, I PROMISE to pay it back in a month. Well, that's what Hanif told me. How far is it to be true, only God Knows. 

However, after looking at the three categories of people in this world, which 

  1. 1. see the chances, but think that he has so much time, so why now? 

  2. 2. grab the opportunity fast, for it won't come in twice. 

  3. 3. wait for others to show better results, and be happy with what they earn. Precaution should be priority.

I rather want to be the no. 2. I wanna make money fast. But can I? Multi Level Marketing is not east. Cooperation to find underground dealers is a must, must be filthy diligent to find buyers and must be very optimistic of what lies ahead. After seeing how, some of them who joined the venture, could gained up to RM30 K for three months, roused my goosebumps and anxiety. For sure, money can't bring to death, but death needs money, for kain kapan, tanah kubur and etc. Right?

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Kerana manusia tak adil

Alkisahnya, terdiamnya seorang Pak Cik tua di sebuah desa permai dekat dengan Ulu Langat. Sungai yang dulunya crystal clear jadi keruh sebab pemodenan. Pak Cik tua ni namanya Jalil. Seorang duda tua, isterinya, dah lama meninggal dunia sejak anak bongsunya Farid dilahirkan ke dunia. Pak Jalil sentiasa berasa bangga, kerana dua lagi anaknya merupakan golongan yang terpelajar dan berjawatan besar di kota besar Kuala Lumpur. Anaknya yang sulung bernama Farhan merupakan bisnesman berjaya. Banyak cawangan pejabat sana sini. Sudah berkahwin dan beranak empat. Tapi jarang sekali balik ke kampung, cuma sekali sahaja dalam setahun. Farhana pula anak keduanya, seorang pensyarah senior di Lim Kok Wing. Sudah berkahwin dengan mat salleh, namun belum ada anak. Hidup memang mewah dan rasa kampung itu kolot.

Farhan dan Farhana merupakan anak emas Pak Jalil. Mereka sekarang sudah berjaya kerana masing-masing pandai. Kedua-duanya sekolah asrama terkemuka. Farhan ada degree manakala Farhana pula ada master. Pokoknya, Pak Jalil memang kembang hidunglah dengan dua orang anaknya itu. Mana tak nya, bila balik kampung, mereka bawa kereta besar. Kereta mewah yang pabila melewati kampung, semua terpegun. Orang kampung kan suka bila ada kereta besar masuk kawasan mereka. Mereka pun kemudiannya puji lah Pak Jalil kerana kejayaannya mendidik Farhan dan Farhana.

Hal lain pula yang terletak pada anak bongsunya Farid. Sekolah setakat SPM jer. Tu pun tak lulus. Dah berumur 25 tahun tapi tak de kerja tetap. Naik motor pun, motor kapcai. Pak Jalil tidak tahu apa nak dibuat dengan anak bongsunya itu. Memang lain benar dengan abang dan kakaknya. Belajar tak pandai, muka tak lawa dan tak berduit pulak tu. Satu hari.....

"Eh kau ni! Takkan nak menyogok duk rumah, tak reti nak kerja ke?" tegas Pak Jaliil.

"Camne nak kerja. Takda orang nak ambik Farid. Nantilah Farid cuba kat kilang kat penghujung kampung ni esok," terang Farid, sambil menguji motor kapcainya. 

Maka, esok tu Farid pun pergi cari kerja kat Kilang Kotak depan kampung. Mujur dia dapat, tapi gaji memang lah rendah. Tapi Farid tak kisah. Asalkan ada lah sikit duit masuk.  Tapi Pak Jalil tak suka. Pak Jalil rasa Farid tu memang tak guna, setakat kerja kilang, apalah sangat kan?

Memandangkan Farid terpaksa kerja syif malam, dia duduk dekat rumah Pak Lang yang memang berdekatan dengan kilang tu. Dia kerja keras. Mahu kumpul duit, maklumlah nak masuk kahwin dengan buah hatinya, Wani. Setiap masalahnya diadukan pada Wani. Dia rasa bertuah masih ada Wani, oleh itu dia rasa sudah masanya dia mengambil Wani sebagai suri di hati. 

Dekat sebulan kerja, Farid sudah dinaikkan pangkat jadi supervisor. Mungkin bos kat situ senang dengan kerja Farid. Pak Lang datang ke kilang itu pada suatu hari untuk berjumpa dengannya. Rupa-rupanya kedatangan Pak Lang adalah untuk memaklumkannya tentang keadaan Pak Jalil yang sakit di rumah. Pak Jalil terjatuh di bilik air dan kakinya lemah. Pak Lang menyuruh Farid pergi balik kampung dan jaga ayahnya sahaja.

Farid mulanya rasa enggan. Dia sayang akan ayahnya, tapi dia rasa ayahnya yang benci akannya. Apa sahaja yang dia buat, semua salah. Ada sahaja yang tak kena. Tapi, bila dinasihati oleh Pak Lang, mahu tak mahu, Farid mengambil langkah kanannya untuk menjaga ayahnya. Manalah tau suatu hari nanti semuanya akan jadi elok. Mak dah tiada, ayah je la yang tinggal. 

Maka Farid pun pulang ke kampung. Ayahnya menyambutnya dengan dingin. Senyum pun tidak. Malah tanya lagi kenapa dia pulang. Farid tidak mempedulikan ayahnya, lantas ke bilik. Lalu, dia ke dapur. Dilihatnya apa pun tiada untuk dijamah. Farid dapat merasakan ayahnya lapar. Dia pun ambil beras, basuh dan tanak. Dua biji telur digoreng. Ikan di dalam peti sejuk dikeluarkan, pabila sudah nyahbeku, digorengnya. Hanya itu sahaja kebolehannya dalam memasak. Oleh itu, dia keluar sebentar ke gerai yang tidak berapa jauh dari rumah, untuk membeli sup tomyam. Dia senyum kerana tahu ayahnya mesti lapar.

"Ayah meh sini. Jom makan! Ni Farid dah masakkan nasi untuk makan tengah hari." jemput Farid.
Lalu Pak Jalil pun datang perlahan-lahan ke dapur. Namun dia berlagak sombong dan tidak mahu makan. Farid pujuknya lagi, namun dia masih degil tak nak makan. Jadi Farid pun makan sendirian. Tapi malam itu, dalam diam, Pak Jalil ke dapur dan makan semua makanan yang telah disediakan. Farid yang masa tu terdengar sesuatu dari dapur, bangun, dan tersengih melihat gelagat orang tuanya itu. " Haha! Makan jugak dia", katanya perlahan.

Farid selama di kampung, disuruh ayahnya menguruskan kebunnya yang di belakang rumah. Banyak betul hasil di kebun. Pokok pisang semua dah berbuah. Farid cuba untuk membersihkan lalang di kebun ayahnya, tapi selama dia di situ, dia selalu terasa pening. Pening sehingga pitam. Nasib baik, Pak Langnya juga ikut. Lalu dia di bawa ke klinik.

Doktor mengesahkan Farid menghidapi tumor otak. Perlu dibuang segera, tapi kosnya mahal. Sesampai di rumah, Pak Jalil kelihatan terbaring di ruang tamu. Farid datang dekat kepada ayahnya, dan diurutnya kaki ayah. Air matanya berlinangan. Kenapa ayah tak pernah sekali pun senyum padanya? Kenapa ayah tak pernah hargai apa yang dia buat selama ni? Adakah kalau aku mati ayah akan lebih gembira? Semua persoalan itu timbul tiba-tiba.

Keesokannya, Pak Jalil ke Tabung Haji di pekan. Hasratnya untuk menunaikan haji tidak boleh dilaksanakan lagi. Duit masih belum mencukupi. Pak Jalil kelihatan sedih. Wajahnya muram. Setibanya dia di rumah, dia terduduk di sofa di ruang tamu. Membelek buku tabung hajinya sambil mengeluh, tanpa mengetahui Farid sedang melihatnya dari dalam biliknya yang bertirai. Kenapa ayah muram? Tanya Farid di dalam hati.

Saban hari pening Farid memburuk. Kerap muntah-muntah. Farid lantas ke hospital pula. Doktor di situ memberitahu bahawa jangka hayatnya mungkin tinggal hanya 1 bulan lagi. Farid menyebut YA ALLAH!. Singkatnya hidupnya. Dia menangis. Bagaimana dengan ayah? Bagaimana dia nak kahwin dengan Wani? Bolehkah semuanya selesai dalam masa yang begitu singkat ?

Farid sudah berfikir panjang semasa dalam perjalanan pulang ke rumah. Dia harus memutuskan perhubungan cintanya dengan Wani. Gadis manis yang dikenalinya sejak di bangku sekolah tidak pernah tidak setia. Wani menjadi cinta pertamanya dan ya, mungkin yang terakhir. Dia tidak boleh kahwin dengan Wani. Tidak mahu dia lihat Wani terseksa jadi janda muda. Hidupnya masih panjang bukan seperti dirinya yang di hujung rambut. Esok paginya, Farid ke rumah Wani. Seperti biasa Wani rasa gembira. Tapi senyumannya kembali pudar tukar menjadi masam mencuka apabila, semuanya hancur. Farid minta putus. Katanya, sudah ada gadis lain yang lebih baik. Wani menangis teresak-esak, ditamparnya Farid lalu dia lari ke dalam rumah. Farid lihatnya tanpa mampu berbuat apa-apa. Selamat tinggal Wani! serunya perlahan.

Beberapa minggu kemudian, Farid sering berada di rumah. Memasak, mengemas rumah dan dia juga sering berkebun. Wangnya bila dikira semula sudah ada RM10000 di bank. Tetapi hari tu Farid ada terlihat ayahnya memegang buku tabung haji sambil bermuka muram dan bersedih. Farid dalam diam menyelongkar almari ayahnya ketika ayahnya sibuk menghadiri kuliah agama di surau. Dilihatnya duit untuk mengerjakan haji tak cukup. Tiba-tiba telefon berdering. Kakaknya, Farhana yang telefon. 

"Assalamualaikum, ayah! Nak cakap sikit!" kakaknya berkata.

"Waalaikummusalam, kak! Ni Farid. Ayah kat surau. Ada apa kak?" tanya Farid

"Oh kamu! Bagus jugaklah. Eh nanti tolong kasi tau ayah, akak tak bolehlah masukkan RM 5000 dalam akaun tabung haji dia tu. Akak kena pakai duit. Abang Farhan pun cakap tak boleh. Maklumlah, akak baru beli kereta baru dengan abang Mark. Abang pulak ada kat Jerman sekarang. Suruh dia pegi haji lain tahun je la okay?" kata akaknya....dengan cepat bagaikan peluru.

"Oh...ala akak, takkan tak boleh tolong ayah!" seru Farid.

"Eh. memang tak boleh. Oklah Rid, akak ada lunch ni. Bye. Kirim salam kat ayah". lalu diletaknya gagang telefon. Putuslah talian.

Farid terdiam. Duit banyak dapat tiap bulan, langsung takda duit nak tolong ayah? Farid lalu, terus ke tabung haji. Dia menyalurkan RM 10000 lagi kepada akaun ayahnya. Semua wang simpanannya dapat digunakan ayah untuk menunaikan hasratnya, untuk ke Mekah menjadi tetamu Yang Esa.

Keesokkan paginya, Pak Jalil terkesima. Pegawai Tabung haji telefon, memberitahunya bahawa semuanya sudah beres. Dia sudah boleh ke Mekah. Dia terduduk senyum girang. "Mesti Farhana dan Farhan ni tolong aku. Syukur aku ada anak seperti mereka tu!" kata Pak Jalil sambil tersenyum mesra. Sudah terduduk lama, tiba-tiba dia rasa mahu minum kopi. Dipanggilnya Farid untuk ke dapur membuatkannya kopi. Tapi panggilannya tidak dijawab. Mukanya kembali garang.

WOI FARID!! jerit Pak Jalil. Dia lantas bangun, lalu menjenguk ke bilik Farid. Terlihat Farid sedang terbaring, terjujur kaku di atas katilnya. Pak Jalil menolak bahu anak bongsunya itu, namun tiada respon. Dia tukar dari marah kepada risau. Di rasakannya nadi dan nafas Farid melalui hidungnya, namun tiada apa. Farid pucat. Lesu di atas katil. Sebenarnya Farid sudah pergi. Pergi kepada yang lebih menyayanginya. Pak Jalil teriak sedih. "YA ALLAH....INNALILLAH!" jeritnya di dalam hati.

Satu kampung datang memberikan penghormatan terakhir. Wani turut datang, kelihatan sugul. Baru dia tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. Pak Lang Farid, memberitahunya segala-galanya. Dia tunduk faham. Pak Jalil turut sedih tapi dia redha. Dia juga gembira kerana mampu sudah untuk ke Mekah. Farhana dan Farid yang ada di situ, kelihatan pucat, sugul. Adik mereka pergi begitu sahaja. Pak Jalil mengucapkan terima kasih kepada mereka. Dia anggap duit RM10000 tu datang daripada anak-anak yang selalu menjadi kebanggaannya. Dia selalu rasa mereka tu jauh lebih elok berbanding Farid.

"Duit? Duit apa ayah? Bukankah kami dah bagitau kat Farid. Kami tak boleh bagi duit tu. Takda duit sekarang?" respon Farhana dengan muka kelihatan hairan.  

Farhan juga pelik. Bagaimana duit banyak tu tiba-tiba muncul dalam akaun ayahnya? Siapa pulak yang baik hati nak bagi  duit banyak macam tu, tanpa bagi tau? 

Pak Lang mereka kemudian menyampuk perbualan mereka. Dia memberitahu mereka sebenarnya Farid yang memasukkan duit sebanyak tu dalam akaun ayahnya. Dia tidak sanggup melihat ayahnya muram dan bersedih. Dia mahu terus mengukirkan senyuman pada ayahnya. Dan, dia meninggal pun sebab dia ada tumor di otak. Duit tu sepatutnya digunakan untuk merawat penyakitnya, digunakan untuk kegembiraan ayahnya.

"Jalil, kamu bertuah ada anak seperti  Farid. Semoga Allah menempatkkannya di tempat mereka yang beriman!" kata Pak Lang tegas.

Pak Jalil berguguran air mata. Anaknya yang dulu disangkanya selekeh dan menyusahkan, akhirnya telah berbakti besar kepadanya. Waktu dia lemah sakit, Farid la yang datang, tolong dan menjaganya. Dia pergi tanpa mampu Pak Jalil lihat semua jasanya. Alangkah ruginya Pak Jalil, pada akhirnya.

>>>p/s: we always look down on some people who actually worth so much for us. instead we tend to run over for those who never cares. what we can learn is that, always appreciate those who are around us.<<<

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Balik Puncak Alam ?

Dah register. Alhamdulillah:D  

In a week time, Semester two will be starting off like how semester one did. Another 5 months, studying for this pre-degree level, in a hope, and for a big dream to have what we want for our degree. Sounded easy, but trust me it's not when you are dealing with so many smartypants and diligency every single time you are there.

Semester 2 will be different. In previous semester, we all were divided into tiny groups according to alphabets. I got into B1, and I was in a mass group B. I can tell you that my lecturers were awesome. But, sadly, I can't hope big for the same lecturers, even though I wanted so much for Dr Rozana for Chemistry and Prof Ahmad for Physics. Changes will occur, to provide varsity. It's for our own good said my tutor. And hope that will proven right.

Today, knowing that I won't be in the mass lecture group B as with the same other B' students kinda hurting a bit and frustrating. Two of my housemates were in the same mass group, and now we had to go for separate ways. I love them to be in the same group since it's easier to mingle along, to go together and to ask for notes and so forth. Now, looks like I am on my own, and can only rely to my buddies of the same B1 group as well as those who are in MARA colleges whom I contact through texting asking for helps. Sometimes I wonder why can't I do things on my own?

After that, I also knew that, there will be limitation per group. Meaning, only 30 people per group. So, the first to register, got the first served and first spot. Maybe, because, they want the students to exaggerately go and register to prevent any delays in the system whatso ever. 

Ah... what a life. I actually like being in all B group. We are already like a family even though, we haven't actually knew each other. What ever be, let it be. Pray hard for strength, and HIS generosity for grace this semester. I'll do my best for this semester.  Adiozz

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Learning to Drive with a Psycologist.

Driving lessons are what I am busy with nowadays. Starting from a scratch is something awful and pathetic. And it is becoming even more pathetic when the place is far from home, and new. I feel awkward. My new instructor is now a woman. Last time, two of my instructors were men. Encik Omar and Encik Doe. Well, I forgot what the one was called, so I consoled him Doe in here. Tehee:D

I complained a lot on my former instructors. They were nice and very friendly. But Encik Doe, was known for being a pervert among many students of the same former driving school. My aunt who owned a restaurant near here, asked me to be careful with Encik Doe. Well, I admit that sometimes he did asked weird questions like asking me why I like to wear baggy pants and such. Encik Omar was okay, and funny. But, I messed up with him, and ended up not taking the JPJ test earlier.Why didn't I sit for the test early is based on many reasons, time obstacles, failing my QTI test, and much much more. In other words, I am just a stubborn fella.

Now, with the new instructor, everything is completely different. I just realised that learning to drive with a woman is by far annoying than with the opposite sex. Because woman is just too emotional, and just talks too much. 3 hours of the lesson was not fulfilled with driving lessons, but it turned out to be a psychiatric sessions. This instructor, emphasised on so much of how to manage with the clutch, and she wanted me to drive really slow, like VERY SLOW. For me, if I need to slow down, I will just press on the brake pedal, but she used too much of the clutch. Her way is "TEKAN TAPI TAK TEKAN". Great, and now she hopes I can use all of her way to drive. 

She commented and criticised a lot on my way to turn the car whether it be to the left or to the right. She said I wasn't focused and bla bla, the list continues. I mean, as long as I turned it well so it means okay. But she wanted me to follow all her methods. Not everyone has the same way and method of driving la. Right? I was pissed off, So pissed off. 

One moment, after driving down the small hill at the track, she asked me to stop the car under the tree. Then for 2 hours, she talked about her life, about how I have been, about what she knows about me and the list goes on. She told me the story about her former students. She told me how we get those black spots in our heart. She told me about the evil whispers and so forth. I sat down and boringly listened. At the end of the session, she said I am full of rejection. And I am too confident of what I think.

 Haih...maybe there is some truth in what she was talking about, but seriously, as for drving, as long as I managed to get the car moves, and to get the car stopped, and to get the car turned, it should be fine no. I just need to pass the damn JPJ test, since to drive like a pro one can be improvised once we drive regularly. It's all about practice. But, this new instructor, wants to make me a safe driver. And looks like my wayyy to get the license is longer than I thought. What a luck! :(

Monday, 8 November 2010

Thrifty is vital

To be frank, I should be thankful that I accepted UiTM at the first place. If not, I might have to work part time for extra pocket money, seriously. Even though, studying there is not something that would bring a big smile on my face, but because I am one of the many ants of people who are there as foundation students, are given with RM 1500 per semester. That's a lot of money for me although not for others.

I am a big spender. I admit, I hardly do anything that doesn't involve money. And sometimes, after buying things I regret. Thanks to my aunts who frequently add some more to my allowances whenever I went to see them. It's awesome as a University kiddo. Every time when we passed by the aunts' house, they would give us money, and the amount is better than the those time when I was a school kid. Hehehe.

So, to cut short, I have driving lessons for the 2nd time of my life. This time new driving school and hope it goes well. And, therefore, I also need to spend some more to get my P license. I already finished off RM 800 with the former driving lessons and now this. What's wrong with me already? Thanks God mom and dad went cool about this matter, never complaints of how slow poke I am with my driving capability. Hence, since I don't want to use any of my parents' money, I went to the bank, just a couple of minutes ago. I tried to withdraw RM 300 which is requested as the down payment/deposit. Two times of trial, and all failed. What the?! I was scared. Did I just spend things lustly? Where goes all the money? T.T

Then, after realising, there were other people behind waiting, I stopped trying. I went to purchase my RM 10 credit for the Celcom line. The casher is my acquaintance, known as Sis Hana. She's now the manager of 7 eleven Kajang Utama. >.<. She was with me when we both took driving license at the former school. Then, she asked, have you done with your test JPJ? And, I answered bluntly a NO. She went sarcastic by saying, then, what did you do the whole time? Lepak? ....Well, as far as I concern, that's what most of my days were like. Lepak and do nothing. Pathetic isn't it.

Now, I really regret of buying a RM 200 worth of External. I also regret of buying a new bag online, and knowing that the bag was not that pretty like I saw in the Internet. Plus, I am regretting to buy those clothes, at Times Square which are of bad quality. T,T I lost all the money because I didn't think. My worst problem is that I didn't think when I spend. What a bad habit eh?

So people! Listen. Take note. Be thrifty, when you are ain't rich but depends merely on some allowances given by the government. Money is not everything, but Everything needs money, seriously. And, one more thing, don't buy clothing via the Internet. They are fake. You will regret after purchasing. Thank you. 

>>>p/s: Balqis Isa has been so diligent by trying to find solace and working on the Semester 2 syllabus. Why can't I be like her?<<<

Sunday, 7 November 2010

University and School is different.

Well, it feels like only yesterday when SPM ended. Now the new batch of 2010 will face the same challenge eh? Goodluck, two weeks more for them to conquer it all. But, SPM is super easy, I tell you. Hahaha.

1. No more lonely ranger.

Once you are in University, the phrase no longer works. No matter what you do, you always need to be in group. Discussion and etc, presentation and lab reports, everything relies on good teamwork. I had troubles, because I used to work alone in school. In college, I couldn't grab the teamwork concept. It was hard for me to do the laboratory works and reports when it came to co-operation with other people who we don't even know. So, make sure you don't think that when you did well alone at school, it would help you in higher institution. Coz' it's not.

2. Time to be open

Open in aspects of relationships. Don't mingle with just a particular group of people. Balanced both. Because this will help you to gain more informative output and expand your networking.  More you know people, the more easier for you to get fast information about upcoming mock tests whatsoever, advance notes and activities that are going to be held so that you can get extra points for your cocurricular column.

3. Learn to be hungry

In college, there will be so many people each meal time is on. So, if you cannot withstand hunger, bring light snacks like cookies or whatsoever to munch between lectures. If you have many cliques, you can ask them to save you space at the cafe' or at the canteen. Sometimes, be nice helps. So that they can help you buy your meal when you cannot do it on your own.

4. No more teacher's pet

Everyone is basically treated the same by lecturers and tutors. You have to take note to have all your lecturers' contact number and emails, so that you can arrange for later meet ups personally. Tutors are not so much helpful though. One hour tutorial for each subject per week is not enough for you to master certain topic, so meeting up personally with your lecturers could help you gain some extra attention from them, and extra tips too. 

5. Uncertainty IS NOW your enemy

Even if you were the top student at your school, you are no longer committing to that title while in college. More rivals will try to beat you and the only key to strive is to work hard and super duper hard and hard some more. Sometimes, work smart also doesn't work. Even if you got more Aces than someone elses, your pointer will be lower than them. Things won't be fair like in high school. Face all the possibilities lie ahead. Besides, sometimes they are many copycats, but they still make it out to beat you because their copy cat works turns better, and the lecturers never knew whether they actually plagiarised the works or vice versa. So, yeah, it's an unfair world at college. And it will make you mad!

6. Weekends are super boring, so make fun yourself!

There are some colleges which offer good activities during weekends, but some there aren't any. So, please bring anything that can please you. Television is not allowed of course, but having computers is a must, for you to be online watching movies and whatsoever. This is vital for those whom hometown is far away. And, also mind to be active, because if you're bored, you need to go for outing, and the 'journey' for outing is super tiring. 


to be continued. maybe. hahaha. Gambate for 2010 SPM-ers. I miss those moments of SPM though:( You will too later. Meanwhile, I will be enjoying another 2 weeks of holidays. Yahoo..!

Fahmi likes to arouse jealosy among those who are already in college. muahahahaha. thumbs up!

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Silap dan Khilaf.

Maybe I have been too dramatic upon the sad news of my result. Whatever. Bygones let them be bygones. No matter how bloody I cried, or how I will get blind after so much crying, the result is still the same. Like mama said, try again try again. Sure I can, right?

Been forgetting about the presence of God lately due to over furious about things that happened. Supposedly I feel happy because God puts me in this occurence so that I be more thankful and tawadukk. This is small matter of course. I repented for the actions and repented for what I did say. I am a fool to let the devils' whispers to engulf in my heart. 

After reading the blog by saifulislam, I finally realised that God has always been with us. But, as the time flew and the humans grow in population and modernity and globalisation appears, we tend to not live because of God. We have religion but we don't know God. Perhaps, we often pray, 5 times a day, recite Al Quran, perform Hajj, perform zakat and all, but that in turn becomes just rituals. We forgot where is God, what is God, and who's the creator.

Now it's becoming greater

Fine. Thanks to those who congratulated me whatsoever. T.T. But, Facebook-ing has really making me wanna puke. I feel bad right now, really really bad. I don't know why but serious very bad.

Hahaha. And now I just realised how going to college was nothing but just the sake of going. I am actually blaming myself, for showing off what I actually did to many those I knew. But, yeah, like always it fired me back. 3.5 is not enough my dear friends and parents. Even how many times, you wish me luck, you said it's okay, you tell me to be strong and the lists continue. I sort of giving up.

Facebook-ing is a good source of feeling bad about who you are, about what happened to you and etc. Seeing those people posting status about how triumph their lives are, how good they are at certain things, how they ramble about stuff but still making things work out perfectly and just telling how they are doing blissfully, could make you envy and jealous, and in turn, making you feel so bad about yourself. It happened to me like so many times. But, what am I still doing there?

Currently three of my friends, I knew did better. One got a four flat, and actually got an A+ for chemistry, meaning he actually got 90++. How terrific was that? I was with him when we both complaining about mathematics. We were both ranting about the bad mood before the day we will get to know the results and sorts, but looked now where we both at. The Earth and the sky.  Congratulation to him, who got a four flat. He's a genius.

Semester 2 comes not with grace this time. I feel shattered to even know I will be going to that place I hate, and struggle harder. Emmm...what a luck and what a life. Just staring at the mathematics textbook already make me feel like throwing up. Where will I be with this awful results is nowhere but the devastation land.

>>>p/s: Feeling terrible after knowing you are nowhere closer to them the greatest. Feeling jaded when you realising that they are better but you couldn't be anywhere near like them. Sometimes I wish I never knew what is Facebook, what is blogging and what is desire and dreams. <<<

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Mana nak mula ye?

My previous post about the long snippet was too small to be read. Sorry, I plagiarise it from some blog I found. Just save the snippet onto your computer, and try enlarge it with Paint or anything that works. Hahaha.

A month is now up for the semester holidays. I also did some test drive with my manual BMW Kancil, since I need to get back to driving school for my P license. Hope I can pass the JPJ test soon. I am dying to drive, and sooo jealous looking at others who already can drive.

Cut short, today the students of foundation centre of UiTM, got to know their results for the semester 1. Everyone was terrified and so was I. The results only appear in the portal website at 5 p.m, so yeah, waited since morning to just know what we get. But, I was not that, eager to know, and I also don't have that feeling of anxious. Only God Knows why.

Soon, after having mcD for lunch, and yeah I have this funny story about dad using the drive thru, but nevermind, and after watching Ugly Betty and Dr House and got bored by them, five o'clock strikes the clock. But, I knew the traffic would be bad for the site, so I didn't take a look at mine, plus, the Internet line was always.

After an hour passed by, and the line was quite okay...I made it through...Jeng jeng jeng....takut meh. The page appeared on the screen, and I saw, the four subjects were 4.00...until, ONE SUBJECT ruinned it all. It was the bloody mathematics. Preparatory Mathematics I was the toughest ever. I mean, after Physics, but I got a B- for it instead of getting at least an A to attain a heaven 4.00 as average. Shoot my head off right away! It was all bloody.

It was damn frustrated to see how ONE THING can be so disappointing, how one thing can be such a killer for the whole spirit I've been working on for years. So yeah, as a girl who almost gives up, and who might already giving up, she cried, badly. Maths was super tough, even though it was just 5 questions to be answered for 3 hours. Now I know how super excellent the seniors who got a 4.00 were in the old days.

Mom then coaxed me, so did daddy. Daddy was quite, because he knew I've tried hard and still didn't manage to get it all rainbows and raining candies. Mom said, maybe it's time for me to work harder, and perhaps rethink of wanting to pursue medicine. T.T I was like what the? After the head crash, and the heart stabbing moment, she wanting me to rethink, to actually kill the dream I've been engraved deep down inside? What the??? It's so hurtful for her to do that.

Whatever, I think I have cried enough. Time to repent for what ever sinful things I ever did that made things this way. And for those who kept bothering to call me and texting, who are you to bother me, and who are you to know everything I don't want to tell. Get a life. I got 3.56 only. Happy with that? T.T

Monday, 1 November 2010

Try read this horror snippet!