Things I learnt in medical school: To be humane

There's a thing in medical school which makes it unique: it makes you humane.

Already finished my 4th year alhamdulillah and it was certainly not an easy peasy job. To be thoroughly engulfed in every posting was difficult since my attention span dies off so quickly. Most of my friends in my posting are super duper genius. They remember the names of the drugs, they know the classification, the mode of action of those drugs, they knew which nerves passes through which foramen, they knew which type of epithelium lining these particular organs, they knew these despicable hard to pronounced sometimes syndromes....and there was I, feeling blunt...feeling stupid at most of the time. 

If to say among all the students in my batch, I would say I am at the lowest spot. I am barely breathing to secure a spot. I am not a genius. I can't study that hard due to my attention span, due to my constant pain on my shoulder and due to my hardcore fanatic self for Malaysian dramas. My triumph this year, or would I say my skinny triumph was definitely there because mom keeps praying for me day and night. And not to mention, from all those helps from my comrades....so many to be named. I feel little. 

In Medical school, however, your brain plays only it's minor role to make you pass and secure you a place. Medical school grades you as a human, as a whole, holistically. Why do I say so? One thing everyone going to medical school must know is that, beyond all odds, medical school wants you to be a 'safe human to safe other human beings'. You cannot just being a smarty brainiac kiddo to survive, but you gotta have skills and logic. 

I still remember, our deputy dean, Prof KJ once spoken; we actually observed everyone of you. We observed how you were doing during this whole forth year. We observed your attitude, your attendance to classes, clinics and operation theatres, we see how you behaved with your lecturers, how you greeted them, how you were being active and how you were not. Hence. one who studies medicine must be a human not a robot. 

If other courses in these world, grade you based on your exams score, based on your assignments and based on your models (architecture, interior design), in medical school; they see how are you or how are you 'safe' enough to be letting go as doctors. You can't be selfish in medical school. You have to interact. Because after all, interaction is one of the core importance of one to be a doctor. You have to interact with patients, as without them you wouldn't be able to practice your knowledge and skills. Furthermore, you have to interact with nurses, with other doctors and many more people in the field. You can't work alone. That is why as in clinical years, which for us in USMKLE, started in 4th year, these are all being observed clearly.

Another is attendance...which many flopped. I am also not a perfect person...sometimes I do feel like playing truant. Sometimes, I did play truant. Pretending to be sick because just so lazy to attend classes which I think as wasting times, but please be mindful. Not to say, but most people take the chances to study medicine lightly. Endorsed by this handful amount of allowances per month, some just went astray. Being too comfortable, some just can be selfish. Attendance is not a play thing if one to know. How are we going to be doctors, who have to save lives if we can't even attend a basic class? Being frequently absent subjected one to be pictured as lazy, incompetent, not committed and if you think these are the qualities they would choose you as a doctor..then you are so wrong. One thing I found, some people are being absent in the name of da'wah...which sometimes they do it since it's not a very important class, so they have to attend for a sharing session and everything...but do they have this slight thought that they are giving a slight tarnish to Islam good names? Sometimes I ponder.

Also, punctuality....which most Malays are slacking off. I must admit, I would sometimes be quite late to many of the things I have to attend to...but then I learnt....punctuality is also one of the basic standard of quality people must have; especially for us future doctors. Being late is permissible but not always. It is sometimes nerve wrecking when classes are said to start at 10 am but one comes 30 minutes later. What is more shameful, is we Malays are the one who are always late...which we are indirectly giving bad impressions to the non-Muslims. I once was a leader for a particular posting, I usually came late, but during that time, I made sure I came 30 minutes earlier to class. It was always myself, then a girlfriend and a christian Sabahan friend who came early...as time passed and it was just 5 minutes before class should started, only that Sabahan guy friend was available. In my mind, where are all the boys? I mean come on, Even a non-muslim portrayed a good quality of being punctual? If you can be punctual for solat, then why not for other matters? I keep on pondering.

Communicating..means not only through speaking and conversation but it is beyond all these. Smiling, and one important thing is communicating by all means through your body language could make your life easier through medical school, especially clinical years. As you see, Kannada and Hindi are not so simple to be thoroughly learnt and be fluent in. Even taking history of patients, my kannada and Hindi mixed together into a cookie batter. But your body language can play a vital role while conversing. You can act out a particular thing you wanna ask the patient; example if you wanna ask about falling down the stairs...you can first draw a basic orang lidi staircase and act out falling....I mean it's simple...I always do that when I am out of local language vocab, sometimes I made the nurses and the patients laughed terribly. But being silly and funny is not a crime at all. I do think our students mostly wanna act cool and super decent. It's fine but sometimes you have to be creative to get your job done....and with all these silliness, the rapport between us the students and the patients is more tightly bonded.

Prof KJ, said it that it is not the cleverness that made one to pass this clinical years, or the whole medical school, but the act of being a safe human being......who can interact with others despite culture, race and socioeconomic background, who can be committed in classes and enjoying teachings, who can be punctual and respecting the teachers...and who can be good in communicating. Human touch is an art...it is a quality of wisdom which not everyone could master. Therefore, we must make it a practice to be a human being, only with that, inshaAllah we can be a safe, good doctors.

Reality USMKLE Part IV.

Salam Ramadan to all....yes, back to blogging since I have pretty so much of ample time. Alhamdulillah, I am now back home and completed my forth year USM MD handsomely. It was a challenging journey through out but with so many helpful hands from friends and lecturers, we finally made it. 

Those who failed certain postings, must do remedial in which they have to stay in India. Some must do it in USMKK, while us who made it through must do 4 weeks clinical elective in government hospitals. Well, not much to do in this holiday, except for attending friends' weddings and a short gateaway ehehhehe which I have been saving up for. 

Many of the adik-adik who had been so curious regarding the medical course in USMKLE, well right here, right now, I will spill the beans for all of you. I will compile the questions many of you had been inquiring and answer them right here. 

First and foremost, there is a new sort of rule going on for upcoming batch to USMKLE. I have heard that USMKLE would not receive any more students from various matriculation college or foundation programmes. Instead, they built this one particular "PRE-USMKLE" foundation in Kolej Mara Kulim if I am not mistaken. So, if you are from anywhere besides Kolej Mara Kulim, I advice you to not fret and just move on, find another alternative. Probably you won't be accepted in USMKLE despite those forms and pledging (rayuan). Life is just too short to cry..so move on! 

About sports facilities, the main attraction I supposed for budding students; I would say they have improved except for the badminton hall. You can go play basketball, as we also have a multipurpose court at the ladies wings of the hostel, where you and your team can play there after writing a letter to the high committees of the sport of USMKLE and basically you can use the court on the decided time, Since, it is also a futsal court which mostly will be used by the boys every afternoon, so for girls....just be patient and opt other sports. You can also join me doing pilates and dance at the balcony 2nd floor. Or the gym perhaps. 

Other than that, we have swimming center, RS50 per entrance for non member, and RS2000 for attending a month swimming class. There's a unisex gymnasium just at the swimming centre, yearly fees cost you RS11000. We also have a big stadium for those runners who want to run on track. Some do play volleyball, table tennis, tennis and sorry there's no squash arena. Sorry those for those who asked. NO squash....sadly but yes. 

Oh yes. As the new syllabus, you guys attending first year...would have your first professional exam during your 2nd year. During third year, you will directly attending clinical years. KLE Yellur Hospital, which is a bit far will be the place for all of you to be trained into physicians and you have to take a bus to reach that place. The restaurant there is a bit lousy, but they are making it big...so just see how it goes. 

As for lunch and dinner, breakfast as well I supposed, we have a canteen where we called MESS. They cook lovely nasi lemak every Friday, lovely briyani every saturday...and close on Sundays. Recently, we also have Pak Cik Basheer, who can speak fluent Malay and sell nasi lemak ayam goreng, ayam masak merah and rojak at low prices. Nearby, we have KFC, Subway and McD for those who wouldn't have to worry on getting fat. Did I tell you we also have a bakery just downside at the basement of the hostel? Yes darling...we do have. Also, a saloon for girls which have manicure, pedicure, spa treatments as well. And those who hate ironing or doing their own laundry, fret not kids! USMKLE also offered you with a dobby facility. 

To go elsewhere, to dine or to just chill and buy groceries, you can call auto drivers, Uncle Afzal or Uncle Mushtaq...I mostly opt for uncle Afzal since he will give you a much cheaper rate. As technology is getting very handy, you can download an app called "Ola Cab" and you can have a semi small car or even a sedan to pick you up and send you to the places you wanna go. Ola cab has been really useful and affordable to those who wanna go somewhere in a group of more than 4 where it will be inconvenient to take an auto rickshaw. 

Many have changes since we first came. Berkat students Malaysia la kot Belagavi bertambah maju berbanding dahulu. Whatever it is, going to such a small city, don't put so much hope and expect much. We are certainly been chosen to not just live, but to survive. Hope all my juniors will enjoy Belagavi and make Malaysia proud. That is all....please tell me so if you have any more things you wish to know....:)

second last

assalamualaikum.

it's already 11 past something PM here in Belagavi where I currently live, not sleepy but feel this urge to blog. It has been quite a while.

whether you vivid readers of mine realize it or not, this author is already in her forth year. but no YEYY yet, as this is just the 2nd last year of medical school. And trust me, as you approach the end of medical school, you feel the urge to just stick to become a student. Being a student, gives so many benefits and you do not have to be responsible to the patients you are seeing. Plus, you can make mistakes as many as possible because you are still holding that student title.

And so, that's why life as a student is a bliss. For me, as a medical student, one cannot deny by how far his or her life is living in blissfulness. We are generally been exposed to the wonders of Allah's wonderful creation; the human body every single day.

We learn the normalcy, we later learn the diseased state and try to look for measures in a way that to prevent the disease from worsening or maybe just to stop the symptoms or the features the disease is presenting with. Even the drugs prescribed to the patients are actually us, the future doctors' responsibility to get it right. We can get sued for messing with the diagnosis and the therapy we decided on the patients. That is how insecure and risky our job is.

So now that I have another 2 years to be in calm state of mind, not having to put myself at that risky shoe as a doctor in practice, I must enjoy this life to the fullest! At the same time, must work really really hard not to miss anything out. Because, you can easily missed out now that you in forth year especially here in my University. You see your friends already capable to withdraw blood, so you were like, "Why she can get the chance but not me?!" then you see your other friend who was capable to wake up as early as 7 am just to catch an insulin injection and you say, "OMG...! I should wake up earlier. Damn you alarm clock!". The cycle continues. This second last year in medical school, the school will let you be an adult. You have to decide whether to attend a seminar, a lecture, a clinical ward work (ward round) or clinical presentation. It's all up to you! Hard working is what now matters most!

I was first posted in medicine. Internal medicine that was, for approximately 6 weeks. The duration is quite short compared to usual medical schools which had it for at least 2 months. Still it was an amazing posting. I admit I have learnt so many things. And I also admit during this posting, I had basically improved in history taking and case presentation as well as the physical examination, alhamdulillah! Medicine is again covered the whole thing. It's like you are dealing with things under the sun. Or the pandora box some will say it. Like always, as the first group of posting, there was some problem in between. We didn't manage to complete our logbook like a professional. It was rather sad because you know when you have to do things just as what you can do to get it finish rather than doing something really good because you really wanna impressed the examiners; these two actions are different. We were supposedly to be assigned to different patient each and made a follow-up for each patient. But we didn't do it because it was a last minute call. Later, we just made it finish by whatever wits we have. I myself typed 10 case reports in a week! That's considered a new record! And kids, trust me! Case reports can make you die! Like literally! I am grateful I didn't phew! Only is do not procrastinate in medicine! There's certainly no time to lingering around because every minute now counts!

Now, basically I am in the forth week, finale week of psychiatric. Psychiatric has been the most sporting post so far. Our lecturers are cool and they can totally understand how we work. They didn't just push us to the extra limits which was good. The only main problem came to the time of presenting a case. The problem is once again the language. Dealing with mentally disorder patients are somewhat fun, exciting but then again will just make you disappointed in the end. The disappointment appeared when you tried so hard talking like a chicken speaking to duck, yet you came to nothing. In psychiatry, history is more likely to be his story. His or her kind of story you need to know. What problem he or she had, cannot be asked by simply a question of "What problem are you having?" They would just say mental problem. Or "pagal" which means crazy or lunatic in Hindi. That is certainly not enough to write in our case sheet. To go deeper in knowing what made them come to the hospital is by reaching a good rapport; which needs an art. But rapport alone will not be maintained because they (the patients) see you as an idiotic doctor who comes to bother them in language they cannot understand. I have encountered one patient, an old lady having obsessive-compulsive disorder. She was fine at first, after an hour speaking to her, both in my broken Hindi and English, she got irritated. She asked me for an advice on how to make her get rid off the obsessive thoughts she was having.

 Her problem was that she continued being worried that she's being contaminated with her own urine after having that nature calls. She wasted pails of water just to make sure her bathroom is clean after using it. It was so severe that her family members started to notice. She also had this weird feelings that a well (a perigi) inside her room was going to pull her inside. As in to let her drown. She thus cannot sleep in her own room and felt so scared when ever she walked passed the room. She also thinks her hands were dirty - contaminated with urine, so she did not want to cook. The whole family needed to eat at restaurants each day. It was an interesting case of severe OCD. But when my professor took her version of history, the story was different. Well, actually half of the story I got was correct only that perhaps the patient got irritated because she was wanting to tell me about her other problems which was she heard voices of her sister in law who's already dead, but I couldn't understand. I started to give her advice on keep on praying to God, which I know silly but it's the best I can tell her that time. I didn't realize it was a wrong advice until I read her file which wrote she had troubles in praying because she was feeling rather unhygienic for such holy rituals. Bummer!

And on last monday, I actually volunteered myself to have an examination earlier than scheduled. Dr Antonio was rather spontaneous when he said examination was going to held that afternoon rather on the next Tuesday. Because I already pumped with two cases in my head, I quickly raised my hand in order to volunteer; and so I did. To my surprise the fifth year also had their exams on that afternoon, and they wanted to present the SAME cases I wanted to present. It was such an annoyance. I went to the ward an hour earlier to clerk a new patient. Like always, it was Monday, thus there were only like 10 beds full of patients. The male nurse then told me to clerk a patient named Rajkumar because the first on my list was rather mute. Yeah! in Psychiatry you will come across a mental disorder whereby the sufferers will be mute and rather not talk to you!

Rajkumar was a bank accountant, knew a little English but thought he was rather superior than me. I thought he was going to be cooperative so it'd be easy to clerk him. I was totally wrong. Because he was manic he seemed to be smiling but rather deep down inside, he was actually quite irritable. To attain rapport was hard enough. I called a male nurse to help me with history taking. He then said it was hard to take from Rajkumar as he said I was giving him tension headache. I was probably the 10th student who came up to him to clerk him hence he was irritated. The only thing I got was his 5years history of bipolar disorder. Details of each I was not able to get and clarify, I was absolutely a dead meat by then. 

At 3 pm that afternoon, I was rather scared because I did not complete my history of presenting illness. I cannot get the true chronology of what was happening to Rajkumar in exact. Most of the details I simply 'goreng'. Despite the things that gone wrong, Allah had definitely gave me the strength to overcome that useless fright of having to present a case in front of the other members of the posting group. Can't thank Allah enough. Alhamdulillah:) 

Phew...now it's already the third posting. Neuromedicine starting tomorrow. Then obstetrics and gynaecology where the true stress and hectic will emerge ahahahhaha! Upon all, I am enjoying the starting of clinical years. My posting members are great, they are all tolerable and kind. I enjoyed having kak amalia, che mas, athira mazli, ryan, nadia, marlyana, een and everyone in the posting though. Hope we can survive till the end without conflicts. InshaAllah:)

>>p/s: posting this down because Nik Syakirah ahahaha. She asked how come I haven't blog anything in these past moments. Well yeah, things changed. But I think I'll restart blogging for now. I've always love to blog<<

Reality USMKLE New Edition

Thank you first of all to those upcoming juniors (inshaALLAH) who had contact me multiple times. Yeah, I know the anxiety. The excitement to know you are either going to be accepted or rejected for medical school. I miss the feeling too ! The moment where there's so much confidence! 

I want to say that everything I told you guys would be of what I have experienced. I am now had finished my third year (Alhamdulillah and yeyyy!). So, most of my stories would be of three years back, which I assumed there's not much of a difference. But if there's any bit of a difference, I am really sorry.

What have change?

1. Professors/lecturers

- Many of our lecturers had left us. For example our cheerful physiology lecturer and one of our Godmother they say, named Madam Vidya. Before this, they say, Madam Vidya was a reliable person. She took care of Malaysian Students because she was by the way, the Student Affairs Dean or something (I dont really care), but because she is still an Indian citizen, I still somehow think whether she is available or absent, things are the same. So yeah, we have no longer a 'Madam' who we can run into and complaint things like about washing machines and stuff. Everything would be on our own. And they said the KLE University authority would pretty much dig our money. But wait, don't bother about money aspect. If you are here with a determination, things would be fine. Just concentrate on your main aim. But I am bit worried though for those who are not from a wealthy family and come here on parents' support. It will not be easy and cheap. I am warning you!

2. Syllabus

- For juniors coming for year one, here's a good news. You guys would probably be embarked into a new kind of USM Syllabus. I somehow think they change it to turn USM MD into somewhat similar to other medical schools in Malaysia. I don't quite know deeply how much changes in syllabus you would experience, but your clinical years start in 3rd year. Meaning, you will start your postings in third year, sleep in the hospital, eat in the hospital and making hospital as your first home. YEYYY! While I as one of the pioneer member, would start my posting in forth year, meaning in this september. They said, they will be a new hospital. A new USM hospital just for us. I still do not want to brag how awesome it will be. Because last time I heard, it is still under construction. Let me warn you guys again that coming to India, don't jaw dropped when you are allowed to live in a under-construction building though.

3. Dean might be leaving for good.

- Prof Dr Kamaruddin Jaalam, is the Deputy Dean who is assigned to watch out for us here in USMKLE. He is of course from USM Kubang Kerian. His presence is more like a gem for us especially when examinations are around the corner. Rumor has it, that he might be leaving us for good. Well, if he's leaving just pray for someone better to replace him. Because for us, he is irreplaceable. 

4. New swimming pool!

-You heard it guys and gal! There is a swimming pool, just beside the campus. But it's not just for us the USM students but for all those from JNMC as well. You will know what JNMC is when you come here. They have one separate time for the girls. Also, swimming lesson for those who want to an Olympic class swimmer. So pack along your swimming gear people. See ya in the water! LOL

5. GYM!

-There's basically no reason for one USMKLE student to not stay fit. If you cannot do outdoors, then you (the girls) can join me in the gym. I hope I still have time for gym though. We can do HIIT routines and also dancing, Zumba, just name it. Don't over expect on the equipment, since we would just pay RS1800 for 6 months, so the equipment are quite lousy especially the treadmills. Oh well, India what do you expect? Dont worry boys, I know you guys wanna turn into Abang Sado, there is definitely a big gym for you guys too! Fret not!

6. No kitchen

-Sad news for the new comers. Your room might have a pantry without a sink for you to cook. I think because there have been an experience whereby the pantry being accidentally burnt so they are really worried on us cooking. Drawback is then onto you guys though. But fret now, you can still cook elsewhere where there are plugs located. We cook by using an induction cooker. 

7. Fees

Indian currency keep dropping and hiking. Like now, it's really hiking. So when you come in september, the currency will eventually drop again. By that time, fees would be hiking. And the fees for hostel alone cost USD 900. Meanwhile, the tuition fees per year, is 20000 USD. Those under MARA would probably be of less worry since MARA pay the tuition fees and provides USD 500 allowance per month. Those under self sponsorship would probably need to plan more wisely. 

That's all guys! Sorry if I am answering you guys in a quite monotonous responses. I just not keen anymore into dealing with questions like "Is USMKLE that good?...SERIOUSLY guys and gals, if you think USMKLE is unrecognized or not good, just don't come here with doubts in your head. USMKLE is still an IPTA which is located outside the country. Even Kementerian Pelajaran Tinggi nominated it to those Malaysian students studying in Egypt during the riot crisis for them to choose to continue their studies. The reason why we are still unrecognized is because we still haven't produce our first doctors. They are going to graduate around 2015, so yeah just wait. I hope this will answer you doubt. If not so much, then a little bit would do right?

Till then...assalamualaikum. Nak tidoooo....yaawnnn. Hahhaha!

Try find me if you're really that smart!

Becoming Hadid and Maryam

Hadid means iron in Arabic. I am sorry but I am not that well versed in Arabic, only that I know Hadid means iron. In Malay, it means 'besi'. Hadid, is in fact, not just regular iron or besi. As I depicted this word from the Quran, I know Hadid means iron by how Allah S.W.T meant it to be.

As we regularly recite Al Kahfi every time Jumuuah comes, we could easily found a verse from that very ayat that mentioned:

As Zulkarnain asked the people to bring him sheets of iron. The Hadid. He leveled them between the two mountain walls, they were blew with fire till the become thoroughly strong. And the function of these sheets of iron, the Hadid was to prevent the Gog and Magog (Yakjuj and Makjuj) from coming any closer and causing tantrums to the people. The sheets of iron is strong enough that it couldn't be penetrated by those Gog and Magog.

The same thing I want to apply to myself. I am a stern person myself. But I realized how weak I am. Hadid in general should be a presentation to how our hearts should be. Strong. Firm. There must be nothing that could penetrate that firmness. Firmness in the route to get near to Allah. To our first home; Paradise. Jannah. I have a lot of times received messages from friends. from my sisters who keep on inviting to come closer to Allah. The messages keep on flowing and flowing. But I wonder why my heart seems not to be happy. Not to have the excitement as my other sisters. I always want to have that feeling. The excitement, happiness whenever the call awaits. When the call comes. Too many buts but yeah T__T

Being strong as not to stumble and fall. That is Hadid. The strong heart that knows well that only Allah should be her prior. None others. When things happened as it has been written, it's because Allah wants the heart to be closer to the ground. To make me, us just as His Servant. Whether things that happened is a joy or a sore. The heart should not weakens. Instead it should be like Hadid, firm and wouldn't let sadness over penetrate it self. 

Being Maryam R.A

Turning the soul into Maryam's soul. The Holy Mother of Prophet Isa a.s. Maryam is known for her fondness in enslaving herself to Allah Almighty God. Even food came to her from Allah's sky through the angel Jibrael a.s. She was chosen to be the mother of our Prophet Isa a.s because she was pure. She never had attachments towards humans. What more is it to be men. One day, Allah chose her to carry Prophet Isa a.s. in her womb. She cried as she wondered how could she become pregnant when she never ever even speak to a man. And never had been touched. Allah S.W.T reassured her that this was to be a sign of His power. That, when Allah meant something to happen, it happened. It's beyond human's capability. 

Maryam is also the only woman that had been mentioned in the Quran by her name alone. She has one surah for that. Her rank is so high that none other women would ever surpasses her. She lies besides the love of Allah. And when she gave birth, she was alone, Allah gave her all the strength. But during the childbirth, as she was weak and thirsty, Allah mentioned in the surah; calling her to go to a palm tree and shake it so that the fruits from it came down. Allah wanted to see her effort in doing so, because with efforts, Allah rewards us with more blessings. And when, Prophet Isa a.s was delivered, and people came talking bad towards Maryam, Allah gave the power to little Prophet Isa a.s to speak and defended his mother. 

Maryam, is a true Muslimah, Mukminah in general. How am I to have a soul as purified as her? That what heart has is only Allah S.W.T but none others. Nothing in the world owns her. And all she did was to surrender and surrender to Allah. Nothing else matters. 

Again, the world is fluttered with false hopes, dreams and too much negligence. But we too have Allah despite everything. Indeed, to be as pure as Maryam, and to develop a heart as strong like Hadid, perseverance is the key. And du'a and prayers. Lets put Allah on top of our priority ! 

>>p/s: -Bila kita kejar Allah, nescaya Dunia mula mengejar kita-<<

Realiti USMKLE: For Freshie on VISA application

Alhamdulillah and congratulations to all our future juniors who are already confirmed with MARA for the sponsorship. We welcomed you the world full of surprises. HAHAHA.

So before you guys come to India, a visa is a compulsory 'ticket' to allow you to enter this country full of magic. 

I don't know how about you guys, but during my time, the ONLINE VISA APPLICATION form was obtained from the same page as the website where you guys applied for USMKLE. 

You just fill up the form till it complete, then print it....and one thing you have to go to the Indian Visa Center to get your visa ready. Oh, please bring along your original USMKLE offer letter as well as your passport. And while putting your signature to any documents during the application process at the center, make sure all your signature are of the similar pattern. Just don't be that kelam kabut. Do things one at a time :)

You must sign up for the STUDENT VISA. The fees is about RM 301 during my time. I would put the link to the Malaysia's Indian Visa Center for you to do all the work. There are maybe some things changed for these past 2 years. 

INDIAN VISA CENTRE IN MALAYSIA 

And for those who are not in Kuala Lumpur area, here is the link to the addresses in some other cities for the center. Collection for the VISA is usually a week after you go and make one, so yeah, be patient :)

INDIAN VISA CENTRE ADDRESSES

Flowing Water

As the smooth river flows, without halt, till Allah Taala says so, due to drought; did we see the resemblance that we could follow with the flowing river water?

Istiqomah. Another Arabic word I started learning after I joined tarbiyyah. Simply means, continuity in doing our deeds for the deen. Seems easy? Nope it's not.

Being a woman, as for me, I tend to have the phase where I feel very lazy to do my ibadah, and that reckons me that my period of the month will come any minute. But soon after a week of 'break', after the crying of the uterus, suddenly the phase of rejuvenation comes in twine.

You see, our weak hearts are getting weakened by so many forces. By human forces, by environmental forces as well as physiological forces. We thus really in need of Allah, of his mighty words to keep us stand still, stand rigid. If this doesn't happen, guess what will happen? We might dwell with excessive unnecessary thoughts on loneliness, on boredom. But life never is lonely. We have Allah. And the Holy Book, The Quran. But the thing is do we really realize of this?

One method that I found that we should practice is to read, scan, and skim the Quran at least once a day. Come on! If some of us can actually take a big thick novel to read in just a day, why don't we take reading Quran as a habit? Every time after each of our daily five-times prayer? And every good did needs an initiation. Within ourselves, all we have to do, is to push. Set our negative thinking aside and just started doing. Once you gain momentum, voi'la it's becoming easier inshaAllah:)

Istiqomah in waking up early. Also one of my mujahadah. There are so many things we can do once we wake up as early birds. You would able to perform your obligation, the Subuh prayer. You could also wake up for tahajjud if you woke up earlier, you can then strengthening your physique by going to the gym, you can do your laundry, you can cook breakfast, you can perform your dhuha prayer....gosh, the list of things we can do once we wake up early is just endless. I often have hard time waking up early. After subuh, I return to dreamland because the bed is so much a distraction. But after waking up, the feeling of regret is just so big that it halted me to do things I feel I wanna do. At least, nowadays, paying for gym had made me easier to wake up early. At least. This also needs istiqomah. May Allah help me!

A senior has been living and sleeping with me during her study week recently. She saw me burning the midnight oil but still can still wake up early. So she asked me the tip. I told her this: JUST WAKE UP! One day I watched this video from Saudi Arabia in youtube, showing how the shaithon who is beside us, will whisper not to wake up for Fajr Prayer. Wow. That video is really freaking me out hahaha! So just wake up once your alarm rings. Just fight the bad whisperer! But right now I am again facing the problem. Wonder why so tired lately though :(

Istiqomah in becoming the 'superdaie', becoming the one who can bring Islam to another level, in other words the Muslims who give momentum to dakwah is harder. Because to start dakwah, we are doing it in troops, in a group. We need a whole set of togetherness, we need to really understand the concept of ukhwah, being good to each other who are in the same path as us, but as time goes by; it's hard to be husnozon. Husnuzon, means to ONLY think the best of others. What they do, what they say; you must think of no evil. Even if you do, you must then istighfar. But trust me, we are humans, and we do prejudice. We make assumptions, and to be a good daie' is how far you can resist those evil whispers. I am trying hard. So just keep praying that we all can resist the nastiness of the worldly evils. 

And just today, in a session of usrah, the leader of my group was feeling a bit down. Because one of our member who already knew we had a sitting session; went for a movie instead. Peer pressure that is. But then, who to be blamed? I mean we are now adults. We can think what best for us. But my leader (naqibah) kept thinking that because our usrah is a bore that made another member feels it's okay to skip the sitting for a movie. It was a stern long hour of discussion. I hate stern discussion but it feels sad, when our own naqibah is starting to becoming disheartened. It's so hard when every body just loses their momentum. But what should we do now? What should I do? 

Being in another level; whereby we wanna get closer to Allah. To becoming HIS agent for dakwah is certainly not a mere task. It needs perseverance and a lot of patience. We lack of these. Also, we lack of the sense of Ukhwah; togetherness. We judge a lot. We judge if someone prefer to not go for a sitting once, that her heart might has mislead. Or she might have gone wrong somewhere in her mind. We lack of Husnuzon; thinking of just the best of others. And we tend to only treat our other sisters who are in the dakwah path good, but when one of them do not want to join; we tend to treat her like a stranger. And what is this??? I am seeing all these. Plus, we lack the sense of humanity when we speak. We aren't cautious enough while we speak. We hurt others without we realize. 

We go for daurah/long journey of sisters meeting without telling others the purpose; we put exclamation on their heads rather than telling our true intention. We are basically making Islam a very hard religion. A very complex part of life. Somehow this is really what I see these days. Somehow or rather this is why; we lack of attraction as sisters/brothers in Islam in portraying the best Islamic view towards our peers, towards people around us. We lack of that virtue. Now reflect. Before giving others words of tarbiyah; set our mind, am I good enough to preach? Am I good enough for people to really understand Islam through me? If people see me, would they say that I am a good Muslim? Play people's hearts are best with characters. But yet; we keep thinking what we did are good enough. The answer is always a NO. In dakwah, there's never good enough. Because it's never as easy. 

>>p/s: Before blaming others for not understand, for not understanding our so called 'Priority for the Deen'; lets together reflect the mistakes we had made and thoroughly correcting them. Wallahualam<<

Reality USMKLE for freshies

Less than 3 weeks will I suffer from my examination syndrome, Selanjar 2, is looming. Preparation is under the progress. Can't say how fast or slow the speed is, only Allah could tell.

In addition, the year 2 is gonna be seniors soon. We didn't quite feel of being a senior this year, since most of the first years are of our age (21 years/born in 1992) so the next new semester will be full of fun. Hahaha

Some things I need to clarify here, about this medical institution where I am in. It is called USMKLE IMP Belgaum, India. Again, it's NOT Belgium. Although, there's winter around December; this place is far beyond Belgium. And chocolates. But the people are variation of 'chocolates' , if you know what I meant. :P

This year, only one person approached me to ask regarding USMKLE, also a cyber friend, by which her brother is considering to come to USMKLE too. I hope this helps by any means. 

1. Common question: Is USMKLE differ in any ways from USMKK? 

-Answer: Yes. Of course, when it's two different places; you HAVE TO EXPECT for differences. When I mention about differences, there are; the teaching staff. In USMKK, the teaching staff are abundant. But most of them are also practicing doctors, so they are super duper busy. I've heard stories from friends at USMKK, that even during PBL (group discussion), the conducting lecturers couldn't show up because they have to attend wards session/surgery or alike. 

It is different in USMKLE. Our teaching stuff, is not Malaysians of course, except for Prof Kamaruddin Jalam (Prof KJ) who is also our Deputy Dean and some short courses lecturers that came all the way from Kampus Induk, to teach Bahasa Melayu, Etnik and Tamadun Islam. By far only Bahasa Melayu is being conducted in a class session for 2 weeks. That sometimes, it will be out of the class schedule so students should bear in mind that, they have to sacrifice time during weekends, during holidays like raya haji to accommodate these classes. HAHAHA. so enjoy!

And in USMKLE, there haven't been much cases where doctors cannot attend us for teaching session like SGD (small group discussion) in first year or PBL in year 2 and 3. Only this year alone, there have been 4 classes postpone from their original schedule. But for SGS and PBL, there are always substitute teachers/lecturers.

NO difference. Since, we will be graduated with the same MD USM title. :D And going for convocation in Kampus Induk (Penang) LOL. 

2. What's so special? 

-The cadavers! Being first year, what you can enjoy is having the cadavers to learn anatomy. Everyone should have known India, is abundant of cadavers so yeah, so does USMKLE. 12 students and one teaching lecturer per cadaver, is good enough to have hands on experience with the dead body's muscles, bones and organs. Just need to be brave. Use this benefit well because anatomy will be again recollected in year 2,3 and till you die!!

Classes on weekends. Yes people! You only have Sunday for a break (except in Year 2 where sometimes the weekends also include Saturdays). Meaning, on Saturday, you'll be embarking yourself with classes. Enjoy!

Co-curicullar activities are somewhat different. In USMKK, students can choose variety of activities, sports, cultural and even language classes as minor courses. But for USMKLE, since it's still new, and the community is not that big (lesser students), some programmes/activities in USMKK will not be held here. 

As for now, we only have Samudra. It's a sports and cultural event for USMKLE students. More like rumah sukan in schools. Games held are like: Badminton, Pingpong, Basketball, Netball, Futsal, Baling Selipar, Galah Panjang, Volleyball and other field tracts events like sprinting etc.

We also have Discover programme conducted by the Sports Bureau; it's out of Belgaum activity. For hiking and camping and other extreme sports/activities.

The bureau also came out with the Kembara programme, Bon Voyage it's called. To promote USMKLE to the world. It's like you plan with a group of at least two members for a voyage abroad and made a video out of the experience and share your experience here with friends studying abroad. But all the expenses are self-initiated of course!

This year, we started to have inter-university competitions: we participated in Legenda Games in Manipal. Interacting with students from Melaka Manipal College MMC as well as those from MSU Bangalore, and other universities around the same states. (of India)

Last year, there was Trinity by JNMC. It is held once in two years. It's for sports and cultural games too. Some of my friends won prizes in the competitions held. It was a fun exposure. 

But I can also tell you that there are some similarities. For instance

1. The schedule: Similar but not the same. Probably the classes in USMKK is lesser than what we have here. I don't know why but that happens. But we share the common public holidays like holidays for deepavali, for raya haji, for post selanjar/pro (big examinations) and of course aidilfitri break.  USMKLE however, also runs for a break during common Indian celebrations which are so many. You come here you will know.

2. Examinations are conducted simultaneously. For big exams like Selanjar (Continuous Assessments) and Pro Exams. Together with Bahasa Melayu, English as well as Etnik. 

3. Students still need to complete the project on business and management (Keusahawanan) and Etnik on the contra of Religion within the date given.

4. Still under the supervision of the board of Governors of USM. Means students still have to abide to certain rules made by USM like curfew hours, and not allowed to have a motorcycle/scooter.

5. Students are welcomed to join with friends in USMKK, in events/programmes like PPSL (facilitating orientation week for the juniors in USMKK) and others if not interrupting with normal schedules of teaching.

6. Students HAVE to work for MyCSD. Merit points for their profiles. But unlike in USMKK, where students have to collect it in order to secure a place in the campus for hostels; USMKLE students are needed to collect this points as to add up to degree marking point. Not for hostel purposes. To get these points; for USMKLE students; abundant events/activities/programmes by the institute could help if you are eager enough to participate.

Hostel and accommodation and facilities

We are now living in a lavish, huge USM Hostel. But it's without single room. You can apply for single room, but have to pay extra (as if you are a two person). The fees for a double room cost 900 USD meanwhile for single it may come up to USD 1800. 

The room comes with a big window (very efficient for ventilation), a small pantry, where you can cook and store your food, furnished with big desk (workstation), equipped with Ethernet LAN (for internet cable), beds etc. Also, each room is having one bathroom. No more sharing of bathrooms like what our friends in USMKK are enduring :P

The hostel is also a walking distance from the USMKLE campus. But don't make it an excuse to come late for classes :P Oh and other thing is that don't expect this hostel is perfect in every sense. It's new, so the building isn't fully completed. You might stumbled upon the Indian workers here and there. 

For facilities: We have a laundry space with washing machines at the basement, together with our cafe where we called it MESS, and also a small counter of bakery Kake Walk that sells cakes, muffins and pastries. Not to mention, we have a spacious gymnasiums. For boys and girls hostel that is. And the fees for 6 months gym subscription is just RS1800. 

SOUL/Kerohanian: There's a musolah at the basement, we called it Az Zumar. And many religious sharing are being conducted there. 

Clinicals:

USM syllabus brings students to the clinical world as early as 2nd year. For phase 2 (Year 2 and 3), we have one session of clinical per week. It's according to the module/block learn in a particular period. We are now using the benefit of Prabakar Kore KLE Hospital which is a walking-distance hospital for clinical teaching/bedside teachings. 

Students at this phase must master/know Kannada or Hindi at the very least; for the purpose of communicating with the patients. Mind you that patients DO NOT comprehend English (very lucky if you get one). We have a clinical book that serves as a reference to communicate with the patients. That helps. Also, we have one Kannada/Hindi class a week. The class is fun because the teacher is fun, but can be very annoying because Kannada isn't fun to learn. Very hard language for me :(

At this phase, students must master the art of taking history out of the patients, and present it (case presentation) in front of the doctors allocated for each group. Don't pee in your pants just yet because this can be very nerve wrecking !!

 In phase 3, when you passed PRO 2, most of the time is allocated in hospitals. And USMKLE is gonna have its own teaching hospital soon, but it's not near. Around 10 minutes from the hostel and the campus. Gonna be super tiring in true clinical years! 

>>p/s: That's all I can write now. Sleepy...ask me more because I might forgot to add some points here. <<

Love At First Sight

'Engine starto' and I don't know why in Japanese language, alike Kannada, has to add another vowel to the pre-existing English words hahahaha! 

It was the emergency team of a renowned hospital in Japan. It has been noted to all the emergency team that there is a call from a town call Kyoto, a bit far from Tokyo. All the doctors rush to help whatever case it might be. It is always a game for the emergency team. The case might as well be as serious as someone has been hit by an avalanche or as simple as someone being beat up by some mafia gang. Whatever it is, they must be impromptu!

The helicopter boarded off. Kids seeing it in the air, flying proudly, were running across the field following its path but could never catch up. As the helicopter landed, the emergency team ran with all their might to see what's wrong and who's the victim. 

It's a 40 year old something man. There was a blow on his head. Bleeding profusely. However, nothing seems like something fell on his head. The wife of that victim was asked how it had happened. "I threw an ashtray and it landed on his forehead, accidentally," she said. How lovely.

It was suspected after further investigations and physical examination that the victim now suffered from a hematoma in his brain. It must be removed but then again complications in medicine are always something people has to adhere to. Even a million-worth of treatment can lead to serious complications. Oh God why?

The victim's wife was walking to and fro at the aisle of the waiting corner. She was worried sick. But she was the one who threw the ashtray. She regrets it now. One of the attending doctors came to see her. Explaining what she should be informed of. The couple then needed counseling on which treatment they would prefer to continue. 

And so, these two couples sat next to each other, confronting 3 doctors in a meeting room. The victim and his bandaged head looks as if he never knew the woman sitting beside him. His wife tried hard to console him, putting her hand over his arm, but the victim quickly pulled his arm away. It was obvious that the two is having some marriage mishaps.

Dr Satoshi explained everything about the hematoma. Now the treatment is either, to remove and would lead to a serious complication of loosing a memory. Another, is to just repair the vessels, but the tumor could grow, and the patient might die. They must agree to at least one. And the doctors aren't persuasive of neither.

Outside the meeting room, as the victim was about to be sent to his bed in his wheelchair, he looked at his wife and say; "I bet you are happy now aren't you. I hope I never knew you"

His wife cried on the spot. Who wouldn't. And she ran away without ever being stopped by her husband.

Dr Satoshi went to see his wife. Asking what's the matter with both of them. And whether or not, they had made any decision upon which treatment they would like to proceed with. 

The wife who was sitting and holding her paper cup containing cold coffee; again cries. 

"You know, sir...he was different" suddenly she uttered.

The doctor looked at her...with the most pitiful face.

"After a day that we met, my husband, he...asked me whether I would be with him forever. He kneel and I still remember how his knees were shaking badly...."

"He also said that he never saw anyone prettier than me...but now..."

"And...so the ashtray you threw at him..." asked Dr Satoshi

"He was always returning home very late...maybe he has someone else"

"He said he is bored with me"...and she cried more.

2 days passed, and now the couple finally decided. The husband wanted to remove the hematoma. Regardless the complication of losing his memory, he said that it would be the best. The wife followed his wish; although deep down inside; she's in deep pain. Deep pain knowing her husband would rather loses all his memory of them together.

While the victim was about to be brought to the surgical theatre, his wife was there to follow.

"No! Don't come with me!" demanded the husband.

His wife who was holding his hand, drew away hers. She cried.

Before the victim was anesthetic-ally put into sleep , he told the doctor something.

"Sir...could you please tell my wife I love her?"

 The doctor just smiled and nodded.

Fortunately, the surgery was a success. The victim was conscious three days later. But he lost all his memories. His wife acted normal. When she came...after recovering from her sadness, she stood a little bit far from her husband. Worried that he might again hurt her. Hurt her heart. 

When her husband saw her...he asked the nurse to bring him closer to his wife.

"Miss...do I know you?"

"Because, I think I saw you somewhere, yesterday maybe?"

The wife became perplexed. 

"Would you be with me....? Although I've only known you since yesterday?"

And his knees were shaking....

The wife cried...once more,

Memory of them in the past might have lost, but they are regaining NEW ones. How exciting.

>>p/s: We are not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again :) <<

.

Emotional and backstabbers

Life has always been a lot happier when you don't really care about people around you. Especially those who don't appreciate you. Who don't even look at brighter side of you, instead keep on pointing and seeing the negative side of you. 

I myself was too immersed with those kind of people; was too caring, was too over the board because perhaps my intention to be looked upon to by others; had led me to somehow a sober life. A much devastating kind of life. Because by then I thought, in university, I have to go all out. To be much of a person who speak a lot even though my nature is not that way. But that was proven to be wrong. It all backfired at me.

Just recently there was a seminar going on. We have lots of seminars these days; students are happening to be lecturers to other students. And of course, I like to comment on things. For me, especially being a back bencher, it would be so frustrating seeing my colleagues who were giving the seminar making such a boring looking presentation slide. And for me, colors do attract my attention life span. I don't know about others but this is true for most people. Colors affect our mood too. And thanks to my aggressive-used for twitter, I posted something which eventually butthurted a colleague of mine. Butthurt is simply the best word to describe how this person reacted toward my criticism. I wasn't intended to be rude at all. But he bashed me all the way because I wasn't mentioning him and accused me of mengumpat. 

Here's one thing to people becoming too emotional over some lame tweets or status or whatever it is on social media: if I were to mengumpat, I will not be that direct in twitter. I wasn't mentioning him because my tweet was focusing on a general group of people. To all my colleagues, people who follow me in twitter and to myself. If you ever make a seminar again, presenting your product for instance to a particular audience; a boring color slide will make people to doze off. Well this is an absolute truth!

I did a mistake when I mentioned his slide to be of cow dung green color that made me all sleepy. He said it's not because of the slide making me sleepy but I was sleepy myself. Haha. Not positive enough to take that criticism than okay. But don't accuse people of mengumpat. God knows whoever who do more of the mengumpat stuff. As for myself, it's a reminder that not everybody will be OKAY with that sort of judgement of saying cow dung green, or duck poop gray. (Hijau tahi lembu atau kelabu tahi itik). It is normal in my family to describe colors like that. And when I mentioned that, and because I thought that friend who was presenting was cool enough to denote of that description; I thought it's okay to mention about it. My guess is all wrong. Now everyone's bashing me. Oh dayana stop doing it ! You're doing this all the time. Oh please! Like you never comment over things. And I just made a GENERAL STATEMENT. And you just being a freaking emotional brader! (*I thought boys are cooler here, guess they're not)

And I simply despised the person who actually forwarded that general statement of mine to that friend who didn't quite satisfied over my criticism about the color of his presentation's slide. For what ever reason he did that I simply can't brain it off. But what I know, he's trying to look good in front of others. And that is simply devastating. 

Whatever it is I had apologize for my mistake for thinking that everyone's here is my friend who I can make joke, describe colors like that-like I used to do in my family. Guess I am all wrong. A person do not simply make people as their friends I assumed. And guess, I am not even 'welcomed' to joke around. Perhaps, they like the serious me. The serious all gloomy dayana. Yeahhh...

>>p/s: some people don't like you. and some are just freaking emotional. and you yourself must just ignore and apologize. But beware of rotten ones; some people appear nice in front of you; on the contrary they are just as bad that you can't put trust onto them. Life. Just accept it.<<

Proposal

Assalamualaikum.

Being a girl, or a lady or a woman is already tough enough. Sometimes, I don't even know what I am thinking about, never thinking simple, always go for the complex things. I hate that. In my life, I only had one brother. A young brother, who is now 19 years old. I adore him from the start because he is always the calmest and always the one who speak less, and never is demanding in whatever he wants. Not very ambitious side of him is the most I like about my brother. And also the fact that he looks older than me. That's the yey part!

Now in college, and already in the adolescent phase of human girth and growing process, I see a lot of things as more complex as it is. I don't quite have best friends, and let me tell you that most of the time, only Guy friends called me via the phone. I have girlfriends, but we rarely contact. Somehow or rather, I treat my guy friends unequally. Some of them I can like be myself, talk non stop to them, like nothing to worry, but some of the others, I tried to become timid, silent and just talk what is necessary. 

 

One day, when a guy friend, posted a wallpost on FB, joking around telling me he saw me danced while he was watching a Hindustan movie, freaked the hell out of me. How did I take care of my ikhtilat? I mean I perhaps had reacted too exaggerating over the all the phone calls. What I wanna do is to just stay away from some of jahiliyyah that I miss out on counting. Astaghfirullahalazim.

On the contrary, being a 20-year old also denotes another phase towards finding your soul partner. How does it feels to have friends who all the way talking about who they like, who they hooked up with and you guys just laugh over it? It feels okay. But when the moment, I say it again almost all your friends suddenly came to you and said, "D, that guy proposed me! or D, you know what happened? That guy proposed me in the cafe, and D, that guy proposed me while we went for hiking the other day". That moment you know, something wrong is going on with you. 

To be frank, I hate talking about marriage, because all I see is, that phase is soooo farrrr away. Hearing your asasian friend, who already engaged, also wrecked me inside. I don't know why. But it's a girl thing inside or hormonal cause, that made you feel bad. Ain't you not pretty enough? Not good enough? Hahaha. All those came from shaithon after I realized. But seriously, planning things with your friends, to travel and saving money etc, and suddenly they paused, and said to me that they are saving up to their nikah, wrecking me even more. This is insane. 

Is it okay if I tell you that I feel alone after all my best friends, the girls, are already on their one step further for engulfing in the world of marriage while I am here, still like a kid, thinking it's not important yet to think about marriage? 

True, after all these while, I kind of stand still to a saying of my roommate; whereby she said to me, Nevermind, D, Allah is taking care of you. That is why. So, after all I am a muslim. And in Islam everything is in the hands of Allah. Even Jodoh is in his hands, so is Death. But I realized that Death is nearer. Probably I die even before I can find for my zauj. Everything can happen in a split second. Readiness towards death, sakaratul maut is therefore more important that anything in this world. 

Muwasofat tarbiyah isn't yet complete? How to reach baitul muslim.

Feeling left out, but I know Allah knows the best for me.

>>p/s: So, Dayana Azhar, chins up, and keep calm because death is awaiting you. And just be prepared for it, for true happiness is not about finding a soulmate but to be in Jannah; eternal happiness. TEHEE :D<<

Uneasy

Uneasy is almost like the feeling of difficult. Like how I tried to post a blog in my small screen xperia while on bed.

Uneasy when the body is trying so,hard to cope with Belgaum's summer. Living in the new hostel, where the surrounding is so much different than previous NRI, where there's lush of greeneries with birds chirping every morning, with shades the trees provide; just so nice to prevent us to get direct harmful UV rays; especially on SUMMER.

Uneasy when there's a person who,kept asking about my motive of life. My matlamat hidup. Because after being a khalifah and abid for almost 21 years, there's still a shimmer. Answering such difficult question with motive of life is akhirat, the life after death is cliche', but that's all I have in mind. To da'wah, subhanallah what a heavy task. I still have countless flaws that when I tried reflecting myself in front of the mirror; I see a sinner. How could I be that magnet of Islam? Attracting people who mostly are hard like metals?

But to count our flaws and say to correct them first before working to da'wah is also not right. What if I died before completing to improve myself? Then, what could I answer in my tiny grave, what have I done and contribute in the road of da'wah?

So uneasy, many sleepless nights.

To make or not to bake

I really fond of baking. And 99.9% of you must be superbly annoying reading this, about a girl who wanna talk about her cooking experience. Come on! Stop this trend already! Where girls post "Hey look guys! I bake muffins today. They got blueberry jam in them"

I am getting tired of this technology era. Where we are more fond to tell people what we are doing. I don't mind the act of sharing ideas, sharing opinions and perspective. But telling everyone what you are wearing today for an instance is such a loser attempt. Sorry if you feel that I am talking to you. Truth is, I am pointing this to myself.

Perhaps, if we reduce some time telling most of the people we don't even have connection in real life, about where did we go; like in 4square; or telling what we eat and post a picture in Instagram; we could actually do something more useful. Like cleaning up the house, doing the laundry, composing a nice short story, take your cat for a shower hahaha. Sort of things. As for me, if I could just been away from all those eagerness to be open to public, I could have finish reading all my topic for Fracture in Orthopaedic block. 

And now, I am really confuse whether to bake a cake or make a caramel pudding. My naqibah's birthday, and I didn't even wish her. Cooking is the only means; since love always start from the tummy and love is the special ingredient to all food. Thus, in my conclusion, I'd say; if you are too shy to convey love through words or gestures. Send them through food. 

>>P/S: technology is already smart enough in making people more stupid to make even small decision by themselves. And people often forget that 99.9% of people they interact with on the line, don't even care for them. Even I am too stupid to fall into that category. <<

Choked till bleed

I must say this school holiday, I mean medschool holiday, had been such an experience to me. Yesterday, after running errands here and there, I basically made a simple lunch of ikan goreng berlada and my friend made pajeri nenas. It was our usual Saturday. Chilling and relaxing, waiting to have lunch together. 

We put all the lauk pauk on the tikar, as if it were at some park, and we were about to have a picnic. The steamed rice smelled lovely and tempting, hot and juicy. It was basmathi, so yeah, it was luxury. No greens were about to be our meal, but what ever, we had been vegetarian for many days before had the chance to buy meat and fish. 

We sat down, recite the prayer, thanking Allah for the lunch. We were hungry and quickly grabbed the fish and the pineapple. Such simple dish, such delightful taste. It was okay, we were chatting and enjoying the breeze while eating, the breeze of thin wind that came from the big window I have here in the new hostel. 

Suddenly, I felt something cling on my throat. Crap, I knew it. It must be bloody mackerel's bone. I should have separate the bone, but like always, when hunger strike, nothing else is important. I ignored the throat because the pain was still mild and bearable. I continue eating and chatting, till I can no longer swallow. Dysphagia!

"Hazirah, I am choking!!!" I exclaimed

"Oh, Quick, make a bolus out of the rice and swallow it all through!" my friend commanded

Pathetically, I wasn't good at making rice ball because my lunch partner told me to use my palms. I was like what!? I never made such big bolus of rice before, what else to swallow such thing. Basically, I was stubborn.

I tried to make smaller bolus of rice. That's the only way, the easiest way if one would choked on fish bone. After several small bolus of rice, my esophagus is overloaded. Thank God, the bathroom was near, so I ran inside and puke. 

Who won't be surprised if he or she saw blood, fresh red blood came out from the mouth. Even a slight spit was full of blood. 

"Hazirah, I vomit blood!!"

My friend cum lunch partner, who was still eating, stop at an instance. She was shocked. She still ask me to swallow some more bolus of rice. I just couldn't. Too overloaded. I keep wanting to puke. She on the other hand, made her way to our neighbours, asking for help.

Farah our neighbour said, banana would help. Apparently, earlier in the morning, I already made the cekodok pisang batter with all the bananas I had. My friend went upstairs. Saw kak syira, and mentioned that I had vomit blood. 

"Go to EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT THEN!!"she yelled.

While my friend still continue her attempt, asking here and there for banana, I was to and fro, from the bathroom and to the living room where we had our lunch. This time I made once more a bolus of rice. Swallow it, trying hard to swallow it.

I put my finger inside till it touched the throat. As if I was making my own minor surgery to pull the bone out. I remembered one episode in grey's anatomy whereby one patient swallowed a bunched of keys, and they had to use some robot device to pull the keys out. I was thinking to have the same procedure too. Too much imagination once you were panicked. But it was all vain. All I feel was an urge to puke. And yes this time a major PUKE.

Blood, fresh and red mixed together with chyme landed in the toilet bowl. Guess what??

I saw the bloody, mackerel's bone together with it. And yes, nothing was felt clinging to my throat. I am alive !!

But it was still hurt, my esophagus must have swelled somehow and inflammed. I felt hard to speak for some time. I tried to call out for Hazirah. Then I saw her coming, I told her I am okay. 

She breathed deep in relieved. I smiled. And all she could say was: "See! I told you to bolus of rice would work!"

>>p/s: Berhenti sebelum kenyang. Mana tau boleh mati sebab tercekik kan? Ajal tu tak kira tempat, tak kira masa, tak kira sebab<<

Makan bukan senang

Hai peeps.

Guess what? In less than a month, I really made this start of year 2 as enjoyable. First is attending the hiking thing with the other coursemates in Kudremukh; and secondly; for joining the Aids Day trip to Pune. The trip to Pune was so relaxing. Had Prof KJ escorting us all along, and oh God, he's so sporting!

Basically, the original idea to visit Pune was to go to its Aids Research Center at a place I don't actually remember where, but it is called Nari. There, we saw exhibition and go all about Aids; how it is infected and how is it being diagnosed and how to prevent it. Actually, our trip was thought to start at 3.30 am on that Saturday; instead; the buses came exactly at 5 am. So, the trip to Pune which was 6 hours from Belgaum; resulting in all of us reaching to Pune quiet late while the Aids Day has already shuts its doors.

Haha. But while patiently waiting for the bus in the midst of cold morning; we asked Prof KJ how would the plan be if we arrived to Pune a bit late? He said: "Then we just head ourselves to the sight seeing site!" How cool is that? Hahahha

The buses we boarded were the first of a Non-airconditioned bus. However, it didn't bother us since along the way; it was freezing upon letting the outside air to come in. I had to sleep with gloves on my hands; couldn't stand the coldness. It was a semi-sleeper bus, but due to many whom with withdrew to follow on the last minute; we conquered most the free available seats and made a crony at the very back seat. Hihihi

Continuously awaken during the trip because the bus driver simply didn't have that basic idea of where we were supposed to go. I think almost 6 times I woke up and then sleep again. Then we reached to a small hotel which I forgot its name. Only an hour was given to get ready, to shower and to perform salah. The breakfast of toast and omelette that we were supposed to have has turn into our lunch instead. We arrived there at 12.30 pm. 

Did I mention that Pune has this really awesome shopping center. The name they called it Phoenix City Market, but woah, it's like a baby version of midvalley. I went to Zaraa to actually perform my prayers in the fitting room. Since we can't just go to the fitting room, my buddy and I grabbed this amazing silhouette trench coats and further headed to the fitting rooms. After solah, we tried on those beautiful trench coats, mine was red, and my buddy wore the white. I prefer red since it looked more bold. The price was affordable if we had our allowances that time. It was just 5000 rupees ! Other stores had the trench for 10 thousand rupees at least. It was so devastating that we had to act snobbish and put back the coats. 

Prof KJ and our warden Madam Vidya just gave us an hour and a half to stroll around the mall to find for food. Yet it ended up, we spent 2 hours there. After some dinner with momo, window shopping here and there, we finally made an exile whereby Prof and Madam Vidya both were there, asking us to walk faster, the bus was there waiting. It feels like a school trip once again, but in a more fun way. Bad news on the bus we heard was, another bus got smuggled. We were relieved that none of our belongings went missing.

Travelling via the non-AC seated bus in Pune was gooood. We didn't feel uncomfy at all since Pune was very temperate. The road was rocky of course but we slept somehow. Finally, reach the wonderful place called Mahabaleshwar. It was freezing!! We must do some hiking a bit to reach our bungalow. It was 2 am that time. Freezing and all sleepy-headness, we fastened ourselves to the bungalow. It was such a nice place. For girls, a room was for 6. It was just for one night, but they provided us with good beds and matresses, with hot water too! That morning, we had a purdy breakfast of soft bread with omelette. Yummy!!

By 9 am we started to find for good strawberry farm to visit. Sadly, most of the farms had their strawberries still ungrown. We ended up dipping into fresh fruits and cream. Mine was mulberry with cream, cost around RS110. Others dipped into strawberries with cream of course. But that was too mainstream. LOL. I sat a table where Prof KJ and Madam Vidya were also there. Prof said something that amazed me, which was:

"When we're in a holiday; doesn't matter whose late whose not, just relax and enjoy!"

WOHA! You heard this from a deputy dean hahaha. Gosh. He's so sporting when it comes to sight seeing. Like his style so much though. Then we went to this place where there's a chocolate factory as well as flowers. Took some time enjoying the flowers, bough a kilogram of strawberries, and headed up for lunch. So this is the part I want to emphasize. The Mahabaleshwar Lunch. Jeng4x...

Someone who had been to this place, suggested to have lunch at a hotel. The hotel is very extravagant from the outside, almost like a Greece-kinda look. We went inside this quite-luxurious looking hotel. Everyone got their seats and asking for the menu. The interesting part was that the restaurant served ham and bacon. We waited like a log, then knowing some of the students who were in charge for the trip, was discussing some things with main waiter. One person who discovered that the hotel served bacon and ham, went to see the other students who were discussing to tell that the place served such things that we cannot eat. But it was weird when they emphasized more on the fact that the chef wasn't there and they said that the restaurant didn't serve those food for six months already. Oh please!!

On the first place, it was a mistake to bring two buses full of students to such a luxurious luncheon place where one dish cost up to 400 Rupee. Secondly, it was so bizarre that the fact on the haraam food wasn't been taken into priority when it comes to consumption. Even if the restaurant didn't serve the ham and bacon for six months, then they really did proper washing (according to Syara') for the utensils and the plates? It was more bizarre that those who were discussing regarding the chef were supposed to be the ones who lead Islamic discussion groups back at college. 

After some conversation, some did object saying that in a place where there's no other choices, where the place do serve pork and then we don't have a choice, then it's okay to dine. But may I clarify, that sort of thinking only applies if we are staying or living at a place where, true, there's no other choice but THAT restaurant alone. Obviously, there are many other restaurants that served halal food like the one we had fresh fruits with cream before. Like a briyani stall one of us said was available at that time. I just want to say that we are staying in India where halal food isn't that hard to be found. Not like in those countries in Europe; where choices are limited. 

Don't play when it comes to food preparation and food consumption. Don't simply make Islam as that simple when other choices are there. The better choice is to have the most halal food there is whenever possible. Don't make our lust for food as a reason to dwell into something sinful. What we eat becomes our flesh, and our flesh is also our 'soul' that we use in everyday life to serve ourselves as servant to dear Allah AlMighty. Just wish that people take this as serious as possible, regarding food consumption. 

We ended up not to eat at that lavish restaurant and went back to our bungalow to pray and get things ready to go back to Belgaum. Another 6 hour journey and we were all hungry. Prof and Madam Vidya was kind enough to find for a good veg restaurant along the way, and alhamdulillah we found one. It was 10 pm and we reached to a RNR-kinda place where we can choose to have veg or non-veg dinner. We chose veg though, because we are cool! Lol. 

Last thing we did was to play at a playground nearby where Prof KJ also played. Hahahhaa! Cool isn't it. Contented and enjoy: we finally reached Belgaum at 5 am that other morning. How fun life is isn't it?