Things I learnt in medical school: To be humane

There's a thing in medical school which makes it unique: it makes you humane.

Already finished my 4th year alhamdulillah and it was certainly not an easy peasy job. To be thoroughly engulfed in every posting was difficult since my attention span dies off so quickly. Most of my friends in my posting are super duper genius. They remember the names of the drugs, they know the classification, the mode of action of those drugs, they knew which nerves passes through which foramen, they knew which type of epithelium lining these particular organs, they knew these despicable hard to pronounced sometimes syndromes....and there was I, feeling blunt...feeling stupid at most of the time. 

If to say among all the students in my batch, I would say I am at the lowest spot. I am barely breathing to secure a spot. I am not a genius. I can't study that hard due to my attention span, due to my constant pain on my shoulder and due to my hardcore fanatic self for Malaysian dramas. My triumph this year, or would I say my skinny triumph was definitely there because mom keeps praying for me day and night. And not to mention, from all those helps from my comrades....so many to be named. I feel little. 

In Medical school, however, your brain plays only it's minor role to make you pass and secure you a place. Medical school grades you as a human, as a whole, holistically. Why do I say so? One thing everyone going to medical school must know is that, beyond all odds, medical school wants you to be a 'safe human to safe other human beings'. You cannot just being a smarty brainiac kiddo to survive, but you gotta have skills and logic. 

I still remember, our deputy dean, Prof KJ once spoken; we actually observed everyone of you. We observed how you were doing during this whole forth year. We observed your attitude, your attendance to classes, clinics and operation theatres, we see how you behaved with your lecturers, how you greeted them, how you were being active and how you were not. Hence. one who studies medicine must be a human not a robot. 

If other courses in these world, grade you based on your exams score, based on your assignments and based on your models (architecture, interior design), in medical school; they see how are you or how are you 'safe' enough to be letting go as doctors. You can't be selfish in medical school. You have to interact. Because after all, interaction is one of the core importance of one to be a doctor. You have to interact with patients, as without them you wouldn't be able to practice your knowledge and skills. Furthermore, you have to interact with nurses, with other doctors and many more people in the field. You can't work alone. That is why as in clinical years, which for us in USMKLE, started in 4th year, these are all being observed clearly.

Another is attendance...which many flopped. I am also not a perfect person...sometimes I do feel like playing truant. Sometimes, I did play truant. Pretending to be sick because just so lazy to attend classes which I think as wasting times, but please be mindful. Not to say, but most people take the chances to study medicine lightly. Endorsed by this handful amount of allowances per month, some just went astray. Being too comfortable, some just can be selfish. Attendance is not a play thing if one to know. How are we going to be doctors, who have to save lives if we can't even attend a basic class? Being frequently absent subjected one to be pictured as lazy, incompetent, not committed and if you think these are the qualities they would choose you as a doctor..then you are so wrong. One thing I found, some people are being absent in the name of da'wah...which sometimes they do it since it's not a very important class, so they have to attend for a sharing session and everything...but do they have this slight thought that they are giving a slight tarnish to Islam good names? Sometimes I ponder.

Also, punctuality....which most Malays are slacking off. I must admit, I would sometimes be quite late to many of the things I have to attend to...but then I learnt....punctuality is also one of the basic standard of quality people must have; especially for us future doctors. Being late is permissible but not always. It is sometimes nerve wrecking when classes are said to start at 10 am but one comes 30 minutes later. What is more shameful, is we Malays are the one who are always late...which we are indirectly giving bad impressions to the non-Muslims. I once was a leader for a particular posting, I usually came late, but during that time, I made sure I came 30 minutes earlier to class. It was always myself, then a girlfriend and a christian Sabahan friend who came early...as time passed and it was just 5 minutes before class should started, only that Sabahan guy friend was available. In my mind, where are all the boys? I mean come on, Even a non-muslim portrayed a good quality of being punctual? If you can be punctual for solat, then why not for other matters? I keep on pondering.

Communicating..means not only through speaking and conversation but it is beyond all these. Smiling, and one important thing is communicating by all means through your body language could make your life easier through medical school, especially clinical years. As you see, Kannada and Hindi are not so simple to be thoroughly learnt and be fluent in. Even taking history of patients, my kannada and Hindi mixed together into a cookie batter. But your body language can play a vital role while conversing. You can act out a particular thing you wanna ask the patient; example if you wanna ask about falling down the stairs...you can first draw a basic orang lidi staircase and act out falling....I mean it's simple...I always do that when I am out of local language vocab, sometimes I made the nurses and the patients laughed terribly. But being silly and funny is not a crime at all. I do think our students mostly wanna act cool and super decent. It's fine but sometimes you have to be creative to get your job done....and with all these silliness, the rapport between us the students and the patients is more tightly bonded.

Prof KJ, said it that it is not the cleverness that made one to pass this clinical years, or the whole medical school, but the act of being a safe human being......who can interact with others despite culture, race and socioeconomic background, who can be committed in classes and enjoying teachings, who can be punctual and respecting the teachers...and who can be good in communicating. Human touch is an art...it is a quality of wisdom which not everyone could master. Therefore, we must make it a practice to be a human being, only with that, inshaAllah we can be a safe, good doctors.

Mama

Last month, I arrived Kuala Lumpur for a week break. I really needed that break after 6 months of hurdle in clinical years. I kept whatsapp-ing mom telling how much I needed to come home. Dad usually didn't let me since it's just a 7 days off but this time I showed how I was really tired and he gave me the green light. 

I usually quite a kedekut person in spending money. While most friends who also planned for that 7 days break, bought  much cheaper flight tickets, I bought the most expensive. Suddenly, my egoistic and pride idea of not going to return to Malaysia during that 7 days break appeared to not exist. I just have this weird feeling of wanting to see mom and dad. Just wanna see their faces, how they are really doing, the house, my darling siblings. That's all it.

Probably the strongest reason that led to my return would be of that one message mom sent me 3 months before. She told me how suddenly she got some trouble with holding a pen. It became difficult for her to write and even to sign documents and papers. Her right hand felt to be so weak and it was progressive. As a soon-to-be doctor in the family, I guess mom chose to tell me first, but I preferred her to consult a real, certified doctor for that matter. 3 days later, she told me the doctor she sought just prescribed her for some vitamin B12 and calcium. And mom also told me she had attained menopause. 

I had always and will always be adoring my mother. Who wouldn't? She's pretty, fair, even at the age of 50 something, mom still looks gorgeous with her porcelain-flawless skin and a smile anyone can die for. I mean, I myself not as pretty. She's a smart, career woman and an approachable boss at her workplace. Mom is also my number one advisor; in almost anything. I even cried to her for the first time in the phone, when a boy whom I like said he just loved me as a friend and for that she said to me, nevermind, Allah has everything good for you in plan. :)

Until, that very day of 14th February, finally my flight boarded Kuala Lumpur. I tried to call my father but was rather in vain. I did received a text the night before saying he wouldn't be able to pick me up because he had something else to do. My little brother would be available. I asked him what other thing is more important than picking up his daughter from India at the airport? But he didn't reply.

And so, I hung out at KLIA2 for 1-2 hours with my friends, Lily and Kak Harisah for breakfast, happily eating, knowing this one week break would be of tension free from hospital load, colleague loads and what not. An hour later, my telephone rang. It was my brother, who had arrived by the front gate to pick me up. 

As I walked passed the arrival gate, I saw my family car, with brother sitting at the front passenger sit, and someone else was driving. My brother was with his good friend Azizi, who drove us home. In a split second, I thought brother was excessively sleepy and that's why he let Azizi instead to drive. But brother looked rather untidy, he was in pyjamas (it was 7 am), and he even brought a pillow with him; in which he cuddled it tight. I then started asking where was papa? and what was mama doing at home? 

Brother kept his silence for sometime, and so I hurriedly asked the same thing again. Only when it almost reached Country Heights, that brother spilled:

"Dena...mama kena stroke...She's in the hospital"

And he cried...I saw from behind, his eyes were red, full of tears, and he couldn't hold back and continued to cuddle the pillow so even tight. Azizi was utterly quiet. He then patted brother on his shoulder trying to give comfort. 

I was in super shocked. Literally shocked. A week before my return, mom did text me saying she had booked a hotel in Port Dickson for a short family weekend trip, she was genuinely alright and healthy....how come..that time?

I too then cried...then brother started crying even more, and said, the doctor in charged, told him that there's a bleeding, inside mom's brain and they couldn't do anything and couldn't even operate. The bleeding was located somehow in deeper brain structure. Brother continue explaining that he didn't want mama to fall sick, to be in the hospital. He even asked whether I could extend my short break for mom would only listen to my advice.

We stopped at Azizi's house to send him home. I thanked him for being such a help at our hardest time. At my brother's hardest time. Then, brother drove me home. I saw papa doing laundry, he was rather busy. As he saw me, I hold back whatever emotional turmoils I had inside. I hugged him tight and tried not to cry. But I saw him feeling relieved as I had returned, but his eyes seemed to be full of worries and tears. I told brother that I want to see mom immediately. At that moment, he drove me straight to Serdang Hospital. Mom was then accompanied by my sister.

Soon as I reached the hospital, I hurried myself to the 7th floor, with the feelings of mostly fright and shivers. Straight without much due, I reached level 7 and went to the code blue area, ward 7B. The nurse guided me to mom's bed. And there from a little far, I saw mom on bed and little sister besides her. Shishin, little sister, came hugging me with her eyes full of tears....and quickly said she wanted to do dhuha... and I went to see mom. I cried tremendously, when I kissed her hand. She remembers me! The first thing I was relieved to note at. And her mouth/lips were not deviated. Again relieved!

But I cried so hard. I hold her hand so so tight, could not let go. I let everyone around witness how sad I was...I didn't even matter. Mom talked to me, she was not talking in a slurred manner in which I was thankful for...but she was there, weak, her eyes widened, almost like exopthalmos and she was sweating profusely. In my head, I had this question is she also having hyperthyroidism? Mom asked me to sleep beside her, As I hugged her, I cried even more. She asked me am I crying because I am afraid that she may die? GOSHHHH MOM!

I spent the whole 7 days off from medschool taking care of her at the hospital. It was tough to really be tough...mom was loved by all. Many came to visit but I really feel some visit too many times that mom felt annoyed, I too felt annoyed. The most difficult part was when I helped her to take a shower. Mom felt she can stand by her own feet but she almost stumbled. I hurriedly supported her, and she said to me, why is this happening to me? As a daughter, what else could I replied...for Allah test the one he loves most...

Doctors came without failed. The neurologist team as well as the rehab team. Mom needed an MRI to see what's wrong with the brainstem. The rehab team asked us whether we wanted to put mom directly to rehab. Just one fine day, doctor told us that the bleeding inside mom's brain had subsided. We couldn't thank Allah enough. She needed rehab to strengthen her muscles especially the right hand and the lower limbs. 

To bring mom home, the doctor asked so many things, like how was our home like. Living in a double-storey house was a bit uncomfortable to moms. Thus one day, when I was having hi tea with dad, he planned to bring mom to a hotel, and make it like a hospital-hotel care; so that mom will de-stress. That somehow did not work out as family from Kedah wanted to see mom and stayed with us. We brought mom home somehow. It was hard at first, since mom had to just stay in bed upstairs, and we mostly run our activities downstairs. A bit kelam kabut I may say especially when family from Kedah came to stay for a couple of days. But they were really of good help, alhamdulillah:)

As mom now, needed to be on prolonged supply of insulin, I extended my one week break for another week as to get my family members to get use to what have to be done. It was pretty stressful as I actually, being the eldest, there were so many duties I need to do and accomplish. House chores no mention, and family members came no stop! I was in the kitchen 24/7...but it was worth it....as mom is my top priority. Just as days passed, my father and brother brought mom for morning walks...as a therapy at home. It worked amazingly as mom now can already walked but with supervision. Alhamdulillah:)

Brother who is now in his 4 months break had become another hero apart from dad. He was really really helpful. As if he's the bigger brother of mine. Mother could only sleep when he's around....so he was too in the hospital accompanying mom and I. Since, I have returned to India, he is the in charge person for mom's daily medications and her daily medical vital signs record. Doctor said the first 6 months is vital because beyond that, if mom doesn't improve, the impairment would be somehow permanent. 

Mom is still on medical leave right now, taking weekly medical certificates, which I personally believed it's a nuisance thing for mom to go to the hospital/nearby clinics just for a proof that she's unable to work yet. Mom really need emotional support, as I know how much she's a little spoiled. *manja* I too believe the intention or the feeling of wanting to return to Malaysia was a sign from Allah to let me serve for my mother. I have been rather a rebellious child. I have hurt mom so much in the past. I admitted I seldom give her a call because whatsapp is now available, if she wanted to speak to me, she can send me voice note. I always on the run saying I am busy with medschool. I somehow left her not as priority. Boo me now people!

I have seen a lot of close friends having their mothers passed. Some didn't even make it through the funeral day..since Belgaum is so far, hence we would arrived so late before anything. But this time, Allah had let me took care of mom...and I would stop medschool now if I needed to, if she really needs me. 

One day, I hugged her while everybody had gone back from visiting...she told me to return to India...she said, takkan nak jaga mama je, dena kena study... :( And here I am back to reality. Can't wait to go back, Countdown to see mama again!

Also, jazakumullah khayr for everyone who have been with me through this thorns. I am loved. I felt loved, thank you :) Some I didn't have time to reply their concern...as I really was occupied. Now mom is alright alhamdulillah:) Jazakumullah khayr again for my mom's speedy recovery in your du'as...

>>p/s: Dah besar...we are all grown ups now, And as I returned, I saw how mom has wrinkled, dad too...has wrinkled. Mom used to ask me to plug out her grey hairs, but now she won't let me. She said, it's natural, so let them be, but insisted to plug them. I hate seeing mom being old. to see dad becoming old. aging is hurt to be seen. I am worried if I can't say goodbyes...I pray that I would 'go' first ...let I be their goodbyes, dear God<<

Realiti USMKLE For Freshie: On Registration

Ok for those that haven't got the MARA yet, better be hurry to apply it. 

Registration for this course, even though you'll be studying in India; is still at the beloved campus of USMKK, Kelantan. Yes, very far from Kuala Lumpur, I know.

So this post will be basically according to my past experience: as former freshie (two years ago) as well as one of the facilitators for last year's orientation. Sorry if any of these, won't be dealt or endured by you guys this year. Here they go:

1. Document all your certificates in order. Bring the necessary. Don't need to bring the UPSR's and PMR's. 

2. Makes a lot of IC and passport copies and passport photos. Very important. The xerox center in the campus is soooo far away from the hostel you will be placed at. And don't forget to bring along the offer letter. Official ones. So yeah. 

3. BRING BLACK BALLY SHOES/ANYTHING LOOKS FORMAL for boys and for girls bring BLACK SHOES that cover up your toes. You don't want to spend for lousy black shoes in Kubang Kerian.

4. For girls, bring extra white tudung/ black tudung. You need it for the last session of declaration event of being USM students (hari baca ikrar I'd call it :P). Boys bring white long sleeve shirts. Black slacks are more appropriate. 

5. Bring your own bedsheet and pillow to stay at the hostel. Because I know not everybody is comfortable with such a condition with no pillow. But trust me! you'll be having only like a 3 hour sleep.

6. Girls  bring some baju kurung, formal I would say.

7. Bring track bottoms. There'd be aerobic session. 

8. I don't know whether this year, you would have to bring all your luggage to USMKK or not. It depends on your flight date. During my time, the difference between the last day of orientation was just a day, so I did bring everything to Kelantan. To ensure your flight dates, please contact MARA (if you have already confirmed to be under its sponsorship)

9. Bring extra money; you might need it to buy food/daily essentials and some books like keusahawanan, etnik etc. 

10. For the medical check up documents, bring everything. Make sure you do blood test. 

11. Prepare mentally and physically. Some facilitators are very mean. I mean very! But I ensure you if I were there, I would be nice with some limits. We are there to train and guide you to be discipline. Everyday, along the orientation; you must wake up at 5 am for Subuh prayer at Murni's mosque. 

12. You've to walk a lot. So don't just chill on the couch and turn into a potato. Do some jog/train your legs. It'd be tiresome. Trust me!

13. Youtube the USM Theme Song, if there's any. You'be asked to sing it ! Some facilitators would be furious if you don't know how it goes. 

I think these are basically all the things you need to do/ need not to bring. Goodluck on MARA application. Pray hard to get it. You will be surprised by the time you're here. But most of us are nice. HEHE. 

>>p/s: These two years; USMKLE students are placed at Nurani Hostel, near to the main gate. So it's easy to get to this place upon reaching the entrance. Please bring offer letter (original copy!) if you don't want to face trouble upon registration. The Nurani's management is very strict. Enjoy your few days of cuti cuti Malaysia. And we'll welcome you with a warm heart to USM. See ya>>

Reality USMKLE for freshies

Less than 3 weeks will I suffer from my examination syndrome, Selanjar 2, is looming. Preparation is under the progress. Can't say how fast or slow the speed is, only Allah could tell.

In addition, the year 2 is gonna be seniors soon. We didn't quite feel of being a senior this year, since most of the first years are of our age (21 years/born in 1992) so the next new semester will be full of fun. Hahaha

Some things I need to clarify here, about this medical institution where I am in. It is called USMKLE IMP Belgaum, India. Again, it's NOT Belgium. Although, there's winter around December; this place is far beyond Belgium. And chocolates. But the people are variation of 'chocolates' , if you know what I meant. :P

This year, only one person approached me to ask regarding USMKLE, also a cyber friend, by which her brother is considering to come to USMKLE too. I hope this helps by any means. 

1. Common question: Is USMKLE differ in any ways from USMKK? 

-Answer: Yes. Of course, when it's two different places; you HAVE TO EXPECT for differences. When I mention about differences, there are; the teaching staff. In USMKK, the teaching staff are abundant. But most of them are also practicing doctors, so they are super duper busy. I've heard stories from friends at USMKK, that even during PBL (group discussion), the conducting lecturers couldn't show up because they have to attend wards session/surgery or alike. 

It is different in USMKLE. Our teaching stuff, is not Malaysians of course, except for Prof Kamaruddin Jalam (Prof KJ) who is also our Deputy Dean and some short courses lecturers that came all the way from Kampus Induk, to teach Bahasa Melayu, Etnik and Tamadun Islam. By far only Bahasa Melayu is being conducted in a class session for 2 weeks. That sometimes, it will be out of the class schedule so students should bear in mind that, they have to sacrifice time during weekends, during holidays like raya haji to accommodate these classes. HAHAHA. so enjoy!

And in USMKLE, there haven't been much cases where doctors cannot attend us for teaching session like SGD (small group discussion) in first year or PBL in year 2 and 3. Only this year alone, there have been 4 classes postpone from their original schedule. But for SGS and PBL, there are always substitute teachers/lecturers.

NO difference. Since, we will be graduated with the same MD USM title. :D And going for convocation in Kampus Induk (Penang) LOL. 

2. What's so special? 

-The cadavers! Being first year, what you can enjoy is having the cadavers to learn anatomy. Everyone should have known India, is abundant of cadavers so yeah, so does USMKLE. 12 students and one teaching lecturer per cadaver, is good enough to have hands on experience with the dead body's muscles, bones and organs. Just need to be brave. Use this benefit well because anatomy will be again recollected in year 2,3 and till you die!!

Classes on weekends. Yes people! You only have Sunday for a break (except in Year 2 where sometimes the weekends also include Saturdays). Meaning, on Saturday, you'll be embarking yourself with classes. Enjoy!

Co-curicullar activities are somewhat different. In USMKK, students can choose variety of activities, sports, cultural and even language classes as minor courses. But for USMKLE, since it's still new, and the community is not that big (lesser students), some programmes/activities in USMKK will not be held here. 

As for now, we only have Samudra. It's a sports and cultural event for USMKLE students. More like rumah sukan in schools. Games held are like: Badminton, Pingpong, Basketball, Netball, Futsal, Baling Selipar, Galah Panjang, Volleyball and other field tracts events like sprinting etc.

We also have Discover programme conducted by the Sports Bureau; it's out of Belgaum activity. For hiking and camping and other extreme sports/activities.

The bureau also came out with the Kembara programme, Bon Voyage it's called. To promote USMKLE to the world. It's like you plan with a group of at least two members for a voyage abroad and made a video out of the experience and share your experience here with friends studying abroad. But all the expenses are self-initiated of course!

This year, we started to have inter-university competitions: we participated in Legenda Games in Manipal. Interacting with students from Melaka Manipal College MMC as well as those from MSU Bangalore, and other universities around the same states. (of India)

Last year, there was Trinity by JNMC. It is held once in two years. It's for sports and cultural games too. Some of my friends won prizes in the competitions held. It was a fun exposure. 

But I can also tell you that there are some similarities. For instance

1. The schedule: Similar but not the same. Probably the classes in USMKK is lesser than what we have here. I don't know why but that happens. But we share the common public holidays like holidays for deepavali, for raya haji, for post selanjar/pro (big examinations) and of course aidilfitri break.  USMKLE however, also runs for a break during common Indian celebrations which are so many. You come here you will know.

2. Examinations are conducted simultaneously. For big exams like Selanjar (Continuous Assessments) and Pro Exams. Together with Bahasa Melayu, English as well as Etnik. 

3. Students still need to complete the project on business and management (Keusahawanan) and Etnik on the contra of Religion within the date given.

4. Still under the supervision of the board of Governors of USM. Means students still have to abide to certain rules made by USM like curfew hours, and not allowed to have a motorcycle/scooter.

5. Students are welcomed to join with friends in USMKK, in events/programmes like PPSL (facilitating orientation week for the juniors in USMKK) and others if not interrupting with normal schedules of teaching.

6. Students HAVE to work for MyCSD. Merit points for their profiles. But unlike in USMKK, where students have to collect it in order to secure a place in the campus for hostels; USMKLE students are needed to collect this points as to add up to degree marking point. Not for hostel purposes. To get these points; for USMKLE students; abundant events/activities/programmes by the institute could help if you are eager enough to participate.

Hostel and accommodation and facilities

We are now living in a lavish, huge USM Hostel. But it's without single room. You can apply for single room, but have to pay extra (as if you are a two person). The fees for a double room cost 900 USD meanwhile for single it may come up to USD 1800. 

The room comes with a big window (very efficient for ventilation), a small pantry, where you can cook and store your food, furnished with big desk (workstation), equipped with Ethernet LAN (for internet cable), beds etc. Also, each room is having one bathroom. No more sharing of bathrooms like what our friends in USMKK are enduring :P

The hostel is also a walking distance from the USMKLE campus. But don't make it an excuse to come late for classes :P Oh and other thing is that don't expect this hostel is perfect in every sense. It's new, so the building isn't fully completed. You might stumbled upon the Indian workers here and there. 

For facilities: We have a laundry space with washing machines at the basement, together with our cafe where we called it MESS, and also a small counter of bakery Kake Walk that sells cakes, muffins and pastries. Not to mention, we have a spacious gymnasiums. For boys and girls hostel that is. And the fees for 6 months gym subscription is just RS1800. 

SOUL/Kerohanian: There's a musolah at the basement, we called it Az Zumar. And many religious sharing are being conducted there. 

Clinicals:

USM syllabus brings students to the clinical world as early as 2nd year. For phase 2 (Year 2 and 3), we have one session of clinical per week. It's according to the module/block learn in a particular period. We are now using the benefit of Prabakar Kore KLE Hospital which is a walking-distance hospital for clinical teaching/bedside teachings. 

Students at this phase must master/know Kannada or Hindi at the very least; for the purpose of communicating with the patients. Mind you that patients DO NOT comprehend English (very lucky if you get one). We have a clinical book that serves as a reference to communicate with the patients. That helps. Also, we have one Kannada/Hindi class a week. The class is fun because the teacher is fun, but can be very annoying because Kannada isn't fun to learn. Very hard language for me :(

At this phase, students must master the art of taking history out of the patients, and present it (case presentation) in front of the doctors allocated for each group. Don't pee in your pants just yet because this can be very nerve wrecking !!

 In phase 3, when you passed PRO 2, most of the time is allocated in hospitals. And USMKLE is gonna have its own teaching hospital soon, but it's not near. Around 10 minutes from the hostel and the campus. Gonna be super tiring in true clinical years! 

>>p/s: That's all I can write now. Sleepy...ask me more because I might forgot to add some points here. <<

Choked till bleed

I must say this school holiday, I mean medschool holiday, had been such an experience to me. Yesterday, after running errands here and there, I basically made a simple lunch of ikan goreng berlada and my friend made pajeri nenas. It was our usual Saturday. Chilling and relaxing, waiting to have lunch together. 

We put all the lauk pauk on the tikar, as if it were at some park, and we were about to have a picnic. The steamed rice smelled lovely and tempting, hot and juicy. It was basmathi, so yeah, it was luxury. No greens were about to be our meal, but what ever, we had been vegetarian for many days before had the chance to buy meat and fish. 

We sat down, recite the prayer, thanking Allah for the lunch. We were hungry and quickly grabbed the fish and the pineapple. Such simple dish, such delightful taste. It was okay, we were chatting and enjoying the breeze while eating, the breeze of thin wind that came from the big window I have here in the new hostel. 

Suddenly, I felt something cling on my throat. Crap, I knew it. It must be bloody mackerel's bone. I should have separate the bone, but like always, when hunger strike, nothing else is important. I ignored the throat because the pain was still mild and bearable. I continue eating and chatting, till I can no longer swallow. Dysphagia!

"Hazirah, I am choking!!!" I exclaimed

"Oh, Quick, make a bolus out of the rice and swallow it all through!" my friend commanded

Pathetically, I wasn't good at making rice ball because my lunch partner told me to use my palms. I was like what!? I never made such big bolus of rice before, what else to swallow such thing. Basically, I was stubborn.

I tried to make smaller bolus of rice. That's the only way, the easiest way if one would choked on fish bone. After several small bolus of rice, my esophagus is overloaded. Thank God, the bathroom was near, so I ran inside and puke. 

Who won't be surprised if he or she saw blood, fresh red blood came out from the mouth. Even a slight spit was full of blood. 

"Hazirah, I vomit blood!!"

My friend cum lunch partner, who was still eating, stop at an instance. She was shocked. She still ask me to swallow some more bolus of rice. I just couldn't. Too overloaded. I keep wanting to puke. She on the other hand, made her way to our neighbours, asking for help.

Farah our neighbour said, banana would help. Apparently, earlier in the morning, I already made the cekodok pisang batter with all the bananas I had. My friend went upstairs. Saw kak syira, and mentioned that I had vomit blood. 

"Go to EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT THEN!!"she yelled.

While my friend still continue her attempt, asking here and there for banana, I was to and fro, from the bathroom and to the living room where we had our lunch. This time I made once more a bolus of rice. Swallow it, trying hard to swallow it.

I put my finger inside till it touched the throat. As if I was making my own minor surgery to pull the bone out. I remembered one episode in grey's anatomy whereby one patient swallowed a bunched of keys, and they had to use some robot device to pull the keys out. I was thinking to have the same procedure too. Too much imagination once you were panicked. But it was all vain. All I feel was an urge to puke. And yes this time a major PUKE.

Blood, fresh and red mixed together with chyme landed in the toilet bowl. Guess what??

I saw the bloody, mackerel's bone together with it. And yes, nothing was felt clinging to my throat. I am alive !!

But it was still hurt, my esophagus must have swelled somehow and inflammed. I felt hard to speak for some time. I tried to call out for Hazirah. Then I saw her coming, I told her I am okay. 

She breathed deep in relieved. I smiled. And all she could say was: "See! I told you to bolus of rice would work!"

>>p/s: Berhenti sebelum kenyang. Mana tau boleh mati sebab tercekik kan? Ajal tu tak kira tempat, tak kira masa, tak kira sebab<<

A lesson-on Life Saving

First Aid block is gonna emerge next week. A block which I am eagerly want to learn since it's a basic knowledge that all future-wannabe doctors should know and then apply upon stepping into the clinical field.

Our deputy dean, Prof KJ, who is a super-doctor to me, has this abundant of experience and knowledge that he would like to share with us. So yesterday, he was kind enough to give a lecture on the Do's and Don'ts in Disaster. 

The class started as early as 8 am. But, at JNMC the class is earlier, so we shouldn't complain. And yesterday, I woke up early alhamdulillah. A great thanks to mama usrah who kindly came to my room and woke me up. I was ready to go at around 7.30 am. I went to the canteen and I was so delighted with the Puri breakfast; which is my most favorite Indian breakfast of all time.

Bus wasn't there on the foyer to send us to the campus. I didn't pay much attention for the absence of bus since I usually walked to class. To make things complicated, the shortcut which we used often that is walking down the JNMC aisle cannot be used since a big hole is being dig. Thus, all of us need to use the long way, which is literally far. 

Walking like a thunder rather than running as baju kurung inhibits us from doing so, we managed to arrive at 8.12 am. I saw many other collegemates outside the classroom and I was happy that I thought the class haven't started yet. To my surprise, it was a surprise that Prof KJ let Ryan to lock the door and not permitting us to enter. 

Everyone looked so down. Some of them was fasting, and they came running. Some of them mistakenly took the shortcut, but needed to climb the gate to cross over as they wanna go to Prof KJ's lecture. What an agony when 2 minutes late was consider as our fault. 

But to reflect, yes it was our fault. Now that I know the bus driver wasn't the one to be blamed as he wasn't being informed about the 8 am class. Other friends managed to arrived early because they were more cautious, and so they left the hostel earlier. Merely, those who were 2 minutes late, were just being careless and thought that the kind fatherly Prof KJ would be as fatherly when it comes to attending his lecture.

And so yeah, the other 40++ students weren't able to get into the class, and so they sat outside, on the corridor. Some of us were very sad and disappointed. He showed to the rest of 20 students in the class about his experience in Afghanistan and such. It was tearful that we couldn't join.

As the class ended, he exited the lecture hall and wanted us to write a letter why were we late. It was like an avalanche falling to our head. Of course pin pointing on blaming others is certainly something a wannabe doctor should not do. 

Prof KJ merely did that as to teach us a lesson on punctuality. As in emergency, a doctor couldn't blame time that runs too fast that he might kill a patient. He should rather blame himself of not being punctual. A patient could die any minute if a treatment could not be done because a doctor was actually late. This gives a lot of self-threaten moment in myself. 

I usually early to attend lectures. Allah has definitely want me to be more responsible and be punctual everyday. I guess everyone feels the same too...

And here one quote:

>>p/s: sorry to the person who I made him lost his job today. Truth does hurts.<<