The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Of failure and of 'emptiness'

Salam to all.

Second year has approached its 2nd week by now. Still, in this leisure mood whereby I am pretending that all the contents of the lectures aren't important, and spending my night like I gonna get straight A's for my selanjar. I am a person who won't do good without struggling. And still with some struggle, I ain't good. But still, I don't wanna endure the guilt and agony of being a failure; thus something has to be done. Proper study schedule, proper self management to stay fit and to be energized all day long. I just do not want to be sleepy in class, because to review all the lecture at night is impossible'. 

As for being a second year student, I think it's not easy. All the lectures we have mostly deal with pathology meanwhile those in first year, deal more to the normal physiology. Thus, this year, we have to like do much of the recall. Which is not something easy. Difficult! How can we remember that complement cascade during immunology? And what not all the anatomy of arteries and veins. Thank you very much, but I am not complaining here, just give you some recap of what we are having now.

To be frank, I am not happy nowadays due to some reasons. Yes, I know things won't go as we plan or as we expected. But this awkwardness, this annoyance have been circulating around me for quite some time after we arrived. These days what I can see from my batch is the lacking of give and take. Most of them, genuinely seems to be so selfish and emotional without reasons. And there are some people who did wrong things but they are being eaten by their own ego. In the end, things became devastating.

By the way, I am more to twitter these days, because I can say anything I wish to say, but people won't get to see it unless they follow me. And sometimes, what I posted just drown in the time line. Anyhow, there are certain drawbacks of twitter in which most of the time what I wrote got misunderstood by others. Just like this week alone, I don't know whether I failed to send the information right, or I failed to convey it to sentences that people won't hurt when they read it. Or either they alone failed to read it with conscience and with an open minded. So much of failure!

And this year, I also have to endure to the fact that information regarding USMKLE won't be directly informed to me like last year. I have no post to hold (yet, maybe). And I don't think I am a kind of person people will vote for because of certain reasons (like being a drama queen). I don't know why but this actually makes my life here a bit empty. Maybe because I used to be all day busy with meetings, with endevours regarding my classmates and all. But this time, I just feel like not being needed. However, I know this will bring good to rescheduled my timetable and daily routine. Everything I get from Allah, is the best, hence; why fret?

I pray I don't have to deal with so much of arrogance this year, which I hate to see in my daily routine to and fro at college. People with no smile, unless being greeted; people with no sense to ask how we are doing unless we have been in their clique and so much more of arrogance. It seems like so many of 'puak' now and you only will get to cling if you can give people something in return. This is a very genuine feeling, just need to let it out. It is not a hard feeling, it is just that, after a year; the bond isn't just there yet. Maybe due to arrogance. 


>>p/s: Pray for strength not ease. That will be much better<<

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Phase II

Salam to all.

Well, yeah, it's September and I am in year 2 already. Time is fast, so what? 

Just arrived from Malaysia 2 days back, which is yesterday. Class started at 10.30 am yesterday, while our bus from Bangalore reached Belgaum exactly at 7 am. Wasn't excited to come back. That mood of the holiday is still stuck here in the mind. Just feel that recent holiday wasn't enough. Wasn't satisfy with the short break and yeah, I didn't even have the chance to blog once I was in Malaysia. How lame is that?

Anyhow, no matter how I hate to be here already, I am still in this realistic world whereby I knew I must stay here for the sake of my studies. 2nd year and clinicals people. Heard that we have to move out to a hostel which isn't fully finished and still under construction. Heard that for clinicals we gonna go to a new hospital, built for USM students. WOOOOO...let's see how these big talks will turn out real, alright?

What I wanna advice to juniors who might knew me or not knowing me, to come to USM India, just don't hope so big. We'll try to make our stay be as fun as possible. Because FUN can be made. Remember that. Till then, I need sleep:)

>>p/s: Bilik macam tongkang pecah. Malah worst! Gosh!!!<<