Heads On

Keep Calm and start packing dear self. Almost every day, after returning home from work, Mom will ask whether or not have I started or finish packing up my stuff. The most intriguing thing to accomplish yet so complicated.

Actually, I have had myself busy packing for baju kurung. As far as I concern, USM-KLE although seems like studying overseas, it follows rules from USM-KK at Kelantan. Therefore, it a must for students to wear formal attire every day to lectures and classes. No excuses. And, according to our seniors, there's a day for girls to must wear a Punjab Suit, or Salwa Kameez. Yahooo!!! I like this. Hehehe :D So when I said formal attires, I mean baju kurung, dear readers.

Hence, I stuffed all that I have to my baggage and it seems that Baju kurung itself already make it full. Haih. I need to re-pack. Plus, I am thinking to buy more packets of Maggie. My frequent food it will be once I am there,  but it seems like 20 kg isn't enough :(

I came up with a plan, to apply for MAS Grad Cards, for students. It allows all members as long they are students to bring extra 10 kg on board, with free of charge but of course, paying the annual fees of USD 30 (for those studying abroad). But, I have second thoughts, if I apply this, I need to use MAS frequently. And, it's not that I will use MAS that frequent, because it's cheaper to return via Air Asia. So, it looks like this plan seems like into no use. Still, it is on my head now. HEHEE...and MAS has far more comfortable seats compared to Air Asia. 

Added up to the headache, I now need to pack for three occasions. One: For 5 years stay in India. Second: For 3 days orientation at USM KK. And Third: For Balik Kampung at Kedah. But I can't just bring different set of clothes for this three occasions. Thus, I need to think of a nice strategy to pull things through. Hehehe. Meaning I have to also bring laundry to India, because I have no time exactly to send them to the dobby. 

I wanna bring the whole HOUSE if I can. :(

This is just hectic and will be havoc. Just need my mental and physical to be prepared by all the future outbreaks. Not to mention, I maybe have to go to Kelantan by bus again. Pity Dad if I ask him to drive. It's so far. 

Anyhow, it is less than 25 days (*how fast time flew*) approximately for me to just set my minds straight and be tough and strong. I will have a drench weeks after Raya, no leisure. And I have to stand on my own feet without parents beside me. 

when can I finish this

It's not as simple as BLAIR when it comes to packing :(

Not to mention, I suddenly wish how Azyan Amani would accept this offer too. I just in a sudden, wish how we could prepare things together and live for 5 years together in India. But, she has her reasons to reject this. She doesn't want to be a doctor and I must respect that. :) 

>>>p/s: bersyukurlaa kepada sesiapa yang dapat IPTA. Anda tidak perlu risau mengemas barang seperti saya....and....I still need to find for sweaters. Its CHILLING and COLD at India <<<

Sin-Fool

Assalamualaikum dear readers and bloggers whom I rarely meet or whom I NEVER got a chance to meet. Yes, SIN-FOOL is the best title and the best word made up by myself, that could describe how I have been and how life has been.

Test 1 had just ended and for the past 3 days of attending classes, we were given back our test papers and got to know the marks. Only two conditions applied; whether you PASSED the easy paper with a wide smile carved on your face or sighing high for the misery it has brought you with. And, the moment, you were to receive the paper back, was horrifying, more horrifying than doing a bungee jumping.

I have turned into a complete fool for the test 1. I am seriously, an idiotic-over confident person who turned into a SIN-FOOL and couldn't even do a good job for the easiest test. Why GOD? Why? After those moment of burning the midnight oil, after those by hook and crook studies and by those tutorials I managed to finish, I am still stupid? What have got into me?

I failed terribly for Physics and Chemistry and my heart broke into pieces, million or perhaps infinity little pieces when I see those 4 flatters who attained victory that I myself could just have been dreaming of. Over and over, the same 4 flatters gained top spots and I, where am I? Where am I among the 30++ students in the minor group B1? And I supposed I am among the bottom of the rest 1000+++ students of the whole foundation in science here. My comrades who have been sticking to me every now and then, and who have been helping me here and there, had excelled so well. They too did soo perfect, but I? I just merely a failure.

It feels so bad, when people expecting you could be good at things but in the end, you are nothing what they expected to be. It feels terrible when seeing your friends frustrating over their so-good-job paper and you just could feel WORST when seeing your poor-stupid-rated paper. It feels like I just wanna go home and curl into a worm, on the comfy bed at home, trying to reminisce of the bad things I have done till GOD puts me in this spot. 

Perhaps, yes, I have been too confident. I admit that once I saw the questions on kinetics, I was just out of my mind. I can't think, I can't do them well. Yes, I also admit that for Physics something came up to my head, and I lost the my conscious control and focus. I just sat still when Prof Ahmad went nearby, seeing what I wrote down. I was totally out at that time. Only after the test ended, I noticed that I have done so many mistakes. I went home and sent a message to my dear professor, apologizing for the careless mistakes and promise to be more alert next time. T.T

Chemistry Paper was the worst this time. First time ever I failed. I am so weak in naming the compounds and answering the easiest Kinetic questions. Together I have sinned a LOT and becoming a fool. I should have locked myself and muhasabah diri. And my luck is like sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. Nothing seems working. 

Oh yeah, thanks to my friends for consoling me. Yes, like they said, failing now is a GIFT, so that I can be stronger and better. Failing now doesn't mean I will fail forever. And I don't wanna be an epic failure. Now, my life is at the bottom of the round ball. Besides that, mom kept reminding me to just move on, things happened cannot be rewind. She also said that, I performed better in class but performed poorly when it comes to test. T.T

>>p/s: dinner for asasi is on this saturday. gonna reach there by bus after tough discussion with my comrades, but I just wish that I could drive because in that way it will be a lot easier for us to prepare and to ready for that event. It will be such a troublesome to bring along our dress and getting ready at the SACC with the rest of asasi sains students. heh but better not be pessismistic. Plus, I want to donate my blood so badly but couldn't T.T, and doing data and distribution tutorials just like repeating what I did for SPM 2009 lol<<<

quizzes and tests

Mood: Nerd and Boring are ON.

Time to get in love with books.

It's time to get into discussions, even though I hate discussion.

and...It's time to really be "someone" instead of being a "nobody"

I wanna be an all-rounder.