The Entity

My photo
Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

Welcome Message

And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Thursday, 20 May 2010

I need a remedy.

Seriously people, why do I have to be weak and pathetic? Yes. I might have grown, in terms of physical, but in terms of mindset, what a childish old rubbish. I tend to feel annoyed of myself. I tend to have difficulties to smile. I cried, until eyes swell, and yet nobody cares don't they?

Yesterday, I was playing truant from dear old college. Not like I would be there for another week, and not like I will sit for the semester II exam like others would. I feel shattered as I sat back, alone, reminiscing the first reason I went to that college. For what? Is it just for the sake of knowledge, as preparatory program to medical school? or just the sake of meeting a friend I would really like to meet. Of course, I did forced my parents to send me there and it involved a lot of persuading and crying and begging, and do I have to brag out more of the past? NO...
I was having a problem with my Internet connection, and yesterday I knew my friends at college would send message or post something on the wall of facebook. I really addicted to them! Today would be the very last day, I will be spending in that very college. I feel so dull, and unhappy, sad, and a lot more. Yesterday, I tried to persuade mom. "MOM please, let me go to Russia, Please!!"  Mom on the other hand, could not even a single chance change her mind. She told me how childish I am, how immature I am, and how boastful I am towards Russia. She told me that I could not survive, that I am more like someone who cant be independent. Argh. That's hurt. And yes, I don't know. I don't know what to do. No one close to me really support what I am trying to show them. They only see the dark sides. Shoot! Sometimes its better to die early....

Seriously, I need a remedy. A remedy that could make me happy again. I hate the fact that, I just went to the college for the sake of going there, get some knowledge for another foundation in UiTM? What the heck? Mom also told me that if I didn't get the required results needed like a 4 flat she would definitely jot President College as a college of nothing but a waste. Again, a failure. Shoot!

No comments: