The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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Friday, 13 December 2013


Stepping into this age, the 2nd decade of life brings the utmost unexpected events in life. One will start to notice life needs more 'self-exploratory' rather than being spoon-fed. One will also start to notice some people landed in their life to either become part of their lives or just for the sake of 'learning process'. Life would become more eventful as well; for example, college life, dating, some friends getting engaged, some friends you know start changing towards the better, YOU start to change, YOU start finding the true meaning of life and of course some of us might as well experience death.

Trust me, if I can tell my old self who is a 10 year old now, I would tell her how hard it is to be an adult. But among these hardship; there's relief. There's happiness. There's solution. All we need to do is to have that guts to overcome it. To swim across the ocean. But yes, we need to learn how to swim. To KNOW how to swim. 

When there's life, there's certainly death. And after death we are actually still on our way towards the final destination: either hell fire or Jannah (the Paradise). I have been observing that nowadays, in this era, in MY era, people aged alike me will either get married or they die. Dying early and getting married early. Which do I want if I were to be questioned? Maybe death. 

Not that I want to commit suicide but to think of it, death is not that simple. People said if we die during our youth during the time we are pursuing our studies, it is considered as Jihad. But what if along the college life, all I ever did was to study? Was to prioritize my grades more that towards my faith towards Allah? Would my death be that of the death that I wish I would have? Even towards death itself, we must bring meaning to it. 

For the past few years, few days, I've heard my friends lost their mom, some lost their dad to tragic diseases. Can you imagine, you are in the midst of becoming a doctor, of course, you are dreaming high so that one day, perhaps, you as a doctor could help to treat your parents; but Allah Al Mighty has greater plans for you; He gave you a test; He took away the one you love; your mom your dad. How would that make you feel? 

At this age, I've observed, that it's a vital sort of strength that we need deep inside, to have the power to let go. Letting go of things, of these nikmat Allah has been pouring or gifted us, in this mortal world. Even for myself, at this age, at 21, being the eldest in the family, I could confessed, that my greatest fear is to lose my parents. I can't imagine how would my life would be without them. Without them who love and had cared for me for all these while. The feeling cause my heart to ache. I need to have that power of faith as the Sahabah, Abu Bakar As Siddiq. He who donated whole heartedly his fortune and wealth for the sake of dakwah, and when being questioned by Prophet s.a.w, what would happen or what will he leave behind for his family; he immediately answer: It is enough for my family that they have you, ya Rasulullah s.a.w and Allah S.W.T. My heart aches more to hear this. How could I have such strong faith and belief as Abu Bakar As Siddiq?

Two days ago, my colleague, had to return immediately as her father was on his death bed, a day after he passed away. A friend I know a couple of months ago who had her father warded for cancer, and who all these while have posted happy moments photos of her father with her, already lost him a month ago. Very big lost to them. And when I read one of tweet from this friend saying:

"For the last 21 years, you, Dad, came here to register my name. But today, my dear Dad, I registered your death" 

This made me burst into tears. Like how would I feel or even react if the same thing happen to me? 

Hence, letting go, letting an entity to just leave is something most of us has to learn to accept. And accept it with an opened heart. People would eventually die. You, Me, Us.  

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