Assalamualaikum dear readers.
Hiatus has I been. To the world full of torture. Even though, this is just a mere beginning of a new start. Ya Rabb, I pray. Please don't make me weak. Give me strength. To overcome all these insecure feelings. What ever happened, please let my heart soften to accept it. I don't want to be as rebellious as before. Blaming my fate till I cried out blood. No! I don't want to return to that pathetic state.
While I am here, Allah has certainly poured me with so much love and care. Because, without HIM, without His permission to let me be here, I won't find those friends who keep reminding me to solah, to zikr, to remember him mostly. Maybe, I would be in that snobby state, where I would cry if I don't get something I want.
Indeed, for the pro exam. I like many others, do have that intention, that wish, to get distinction. To get excellent results. But for now, things have made me realized there are more than just getting distinction, and excellent results. When you are older, you will be happy if you be more realistic towards your goal. When you know where you stand, you can definitely toned down the fright.
I do respect some of my friends here that are very patient all along these torture 3 weeks, study almost non stop so that they would get what they want. And along these three weeks, many asked me whether I have completed my revision and up till now, I literally didn't even get to recap what I read and reviewed. To be frank, I am a person who is very bad in revision and examination. What have brought me here is rahmat from ALLAH Taala.
Efforts are also useless if we are to boastful about them. Indeed, it's a no pain no gain when we talk about achievements. Name any achievements, no body has achieved theirs without slightest pain. But, remember, only Allah Himself could make your efforts worth and completely of zero meaning. Don't be boastful as boastfulness are not for humans instead, it's for Allah.
As for knowledge, share it with those around you. It's a very bad thing when the place you are studying at has this nonsense thought that we can't share certain things to the people that deserve the knowledge. It's feel very sad to not being to help those that have helped us in certain ways; just because you are tied up with the policy. Perhaps, I would be banned again this time, but I think I am doing the right thing.
Not to mention, starting from next week; it would be a closure to the title I held for all this past 10 months. Being a leader is not a tough job for such a small scale of students. Alhamdulillah, Allah has certainly help me through all those heart wrecking moments, those quarrels with other students and other complications. Now, things are back to normal. People are more interested to study rather than some batch fights. So, yeah, it has been a great opportunity to be a leader, even though I know I am not a good one. These people deserve better person as a leader: and I think we already have one. Alhamdulillah that a new Vice President is the one that can hold responsibility and well-versed in Islam. I must learn from her, many things to be learnt.
17th July; the first paper will I sit for. And everything will be a history by the noon of 23rd July. I hope people who stumble or by chance read this, can pray for this weak person. Pray for my strength. I really need to pass first year with flying colours. I want to return to home town with a smile and not with a frown.
>>p/s: alhamdulillah, I can now spend a week Ramadhan in Belgaum<<