The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Friday, 4 May 2012

Smarter effort is needed

Assalamualaikum peeps:)

We should be grateful to have more chances to live out for, because we never know maybe tomorrow, death will separate us. And a friend, a good friend used to say, expect the unexpected in life. So, I hold on to that word of his.

What to brag actually? I feel numbness to write. I don't quite have things to share with my readers. Perhaps, mentioning about Bersih 3.0 has become too mainstream and my share about the very event won't be as important as others who really have good ideas about it.

I have been busy with examination. Yes, the Selanjar 3 what we call it here in Universiti Sains Malaysia. We had an additional paper called OSPE rather than SSA. So, a lot of you out there might be asking what the heck are these two? Well OSPE stands for Objective Structural Practical Examination while SSA is slide spot assessment. So, basically, what I noticed, there was not very much different to compare both papers. I mean, only in OSPE, it's more active compared to SSA. In OSPE, we have to move around to stations of questions. Some stations are active means we have to do easy breezy chemical tests while others involves some procedures in the First Aid as well as some littlest things as microscopical structure to been under the microscope of course.

I can say that being in Selanjar 3 preparation wasn't as tough as Selanjar 2's. Maybe because the topics were easier. **COUGH3X** I am certainly not the person who can say these were easy since I cracked my brain all out to get things intact. Sigh. I must say, even though I changed the strategy a bit by making short notes, and arranged them neatly; things weren't as smoother as I thought it would be. My desk is still untidy and so full of books. I just did not know where to start and where to begin.

If only you could see my desk right now, it's worse than any phD students out there. Walaweyh, seriously exaggerating too much. Hmm, so Yeah, OSPE, wasn't easy. I mean, it was easy but many can't be remembered. I don't have photographic memory to remember all the histo slides. It is a despair when you already attend a revision class, saw every piece of slides and discuss with the amazing lecturers, still you can't get one right. Is it because I condemned those who didn't attend the class that Allah let me hold to this repercussion. Repercussion for being too proud. Perhaps so.

Even the questions which came out, were the things we continuously repeat, however, still  the same mistakes were attempted. Sometimes, when the results are out, and the students at USMKK received better, I asked myself, what did I do with all the goodness I live here? Do I really utilize them all; the lecturers, the amazing revision classes and all? Where do I threw all my knowledge to? 

I know Allah looks upon our effort. Results were there in His hands ages ago, even before we were destined to come here. Yet, there's deep inside the feeling of remorse towards our own selves for not being to show the results of attending such a wonderful medical college overseas.

I wish I could get rid of this insecure feeling. I hate being surrounded by guilt and by the feeling of disappointment, and who doesn't? I really have to seek more for Allah's attention. I am still really bad in getting myself through 'failure' even though this looked minor.

So long friends. Let me first dealt with my emotions and try to stabilize it. Thanks:)

>>p/s: I hope we cherish the moment, while you're here, F.InshaAllah:) <<

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