Confusion and shocking. Two words appeared to be what I am feeling right now. Here's what happened. I wanna apply for private medical school as a backup. Among many I chose UniKL, because it's under MARA. I passed the requirement to apply but they asked for an essay entitled 'What Motivates You To Become a Doctor?'
I took 3 weeks to draft one, because I felt weights on my fingers while trying to tell people what inside my mind onto the white blank papers. Finished drafting then I always bring along the notebook containing the drafted essay wherever I go. I want to type it down but then I kept procrastinating. The dateline was said to be on the 31st May so I thought I would have time to type the essay down after enjoying Sabah.
I was wrong. Even after almost 2 weeks returning from the trip, I haven't started to type the essay, in addition the notebook of the drafted essay went missing, searched for it about so many times but couldn't find it. Mana la poie nya menatang tu?
I wanna drafted it again but I felt so heavy and ada je 'blocking' sensation. But yesterday, I knew some kids who had applied, already been call to go for the interview. Of course they are the ones who have submitted the essay. But the interview is on the same day with the Premed registration. Hmmmph. Feeling sad by how I have become, and how I could miss these things. Stupid me.
Told my father that about the bad news, he scolded me for not writing the essay. If I told my mom, boleh kena terajang. Ahhhh....feel bad now. It can't resist, as if I missed one opportunity. Gulp.
>>>p/s: procrastination is very hazardous. don't make it a habit. but it will be a habit when you have Facebook on with twitter side by side. Gulp<<<