The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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Wednesday, 26 October 2011

1 month in Belgaum

Been seeking for some time to blog. Seriously miss blogging. But I have to sacrifice between what is priority and what is desire. At last, my heart goes for desire. Actually, just bought this broadband Tata Docomo which can be described as the most expensive brand there are in Belgaum's market. I need it to do Internet research and it is my initial and usual habit to study with the laptop turning on till blazing hot and Internet access is there for sure.

To study here in a destiny and holding the people's money while buying stuff for my desire is such a pathetic thing to do. I had planned to close my wallet and lock it but I couldn't. A lot of thing to buy here because everything seems like needs and not desire. Do you get me?

Frankly speaking, I feel guilty for not being able to be a responsible blogger by mentioning about my EXACT routine as USM-KLE first year student, but time envies me. I am in a race with it. Especially when you are in a medical field, even first year seems so hectic.

Going to Bangalore for leadership convention was a bittersweet decision. It was between desire and need. Desire to get to explore and travel to Bangalore and at the same time the need for this soul to get out of this hectic USM-KLE.

Seriously, the 3 days stay at Mount View Resort at Bangalore was worth it. Especially when one gets to stay in a honeymoon suite. Also, worth the 10 hours journey from Belgaum, but sadly, works start to piling up. Everything is a mess now, really. And sometimes I ponder why did I engulf myself to this route. I am gonna be a phantom!

Imagine tomorrow supposedly Diwali is gonna be celebrated, but I have classes to attend till half of the day is gone. SGD questions on biochem have been touched a bit but my plan to finish it up was merely plain plan. Histological drawings of cells is still on progress and I couldn't find any end to this. I need a break! And trust me - first year here means no break.

I am in a mess situation and envying my colleagues who already got time to make short notes or mind maps. I also envy those colleagues graduated from KMB to have survive in the world of sleepless nights. Clap-clap to them. In the mean time, I feel my brain is gonna explode. The fear of failure here is indeed worrisome. FAIL means go back to Malaysia and say bye to your dream MD degree. Plus, to achieve the target for distinction is like a dream in a fairytale. It is not impossible, it just seems so least for now.

Shoulder and Pectoral region, Brachial Plexus and metabolism for fuel of muscles and etc etc, how I wish I were KYLE XY to memorize and remember all those terms and facts. Another thing that one should fear about medicine is everything is fact, once you get one wrong, the linkage to it is completely insane and WRONG.

>>P/S: mama dah pesan medic susah, and I do feel sometimes it's not my thing, but when I wake up, HEY, What do you expect, it's medicine for godsake!<<

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