The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Sunday, 18 August 2013

Vogue?

One fine day my brother went a bit friendly and started to share a story. It was a story told by his chem lecturer in college. It goes like this:

A man went into 7 eleven. He looked at the magazine rack but couldn't find the one he wanted to buy.

He then asked the casher,

"Hey, are there any VOGUEEEE here? (with a pronunciation GUUUUU) 

"VOGUUUU? Sorry sir, no VOGUUUU here. But we have VOGUE magazine. (pronunciation with silent U and E).


The man exclaimed: "Well that's what I am looking for lah! VOGUUUU" 

The casher replied: "OH! It is called VOGUE not VOGUUUU" 


The man who became irritated :

"OK! I don't want to ARGGG with you now. Let me pay that!" 

The casher could just laughed and said : "Well it's ARGUE sir" 

"WHATEVERR!" and the man dashed away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone in the car laughed. Because if VOGUE is pronounced with silent U and E, the man thought so does ARGUE.

Suddenly, among the midst of laughter, Mom asked:


"What kind of car is ARGG??"


hahahah


p/s: if no comprehende....ignore this :p




Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Realiti USMKLE: For Freshie on VISA application

Alhamdulillah and congratulations to all our future juniors who are already confirmed with MARA for the sponsorship. We welcomed you the world full of surprises. HAHAHA.

So before you guys come to India, a visa is a compulsory 'ticket' to allow you to enter this country full of magic. 

I don't know how about you guys, but during my time, the ONLINE VISA APPLICATION form was obtained from the same page as the website where you guys applied for USMKLE. 

You just fill up the form till it complete, then print it....and one thing you have to go to the Indian Visa Center to get your visa ready. Oh, please bring along your original USMKLE offer letter as well as your passport. And while putting your signature to any documents during the application process at the center, make sure all your signature are of the similar pattern. Just don't be that kelam kabut. Do things one at a time :)

You must sign up for the STUDENT VISA. The fees is about RM 301 during my time. I would put the link to the Malaysia's Indian Visa Center for you to do all the work. There are maybe some things changed for these past 2 years. 

INDIAN VISA CENTRE IN MALAYSIA 

And for those who are not in Kuala Lumpur area, here is the link to the addresses in some other cities for the center. Collection for the VISA is usually a week after you go and make one, so yeah, be patient :)

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Realiti USMKLE For Freshie: On Registration

Ok for those that haven't got the MARA yet, better be hurry to apply it. 

Registration for this course, even though you'll be studying in India; is still at the beloved campus of USMKK, Kelantan. Yes, very far from Kuala Lumpur, I know.

So this post will be basically according to my past experience: as former freshie (two years ago) as well as one of the facilitators for last year's orientation. Sorry if any of these, won't be dealt or endured by you guys this year. Here they go:


1. Document all your certificates in order. Bring the necessary. Don't need to bring the UPSR's and PMR's. 

2. Makes a lot of IC and passport copies and passport photos. Very important. The xerox center in the campus is soooo far away from the hostel you will be placed at. And don't forget to bring along the offer letter. Official ones. So yeah. 

3. BRING BLACK BALLY SHOES/ANYTHING LOOKS FORMAL for boys and for girls bring BLACK SHOES that cover up your toes. You don't want to spend for lousy black shoes in Kubang Kerian.

4. For girls, bring extra white tudung/ black tudung. You need it for the last session of declaration event of being USM students (hari baca ikrar I'd call it :P). Boys bring white long sleeve shirts. Black slacks are more appropriate. 

5. Bring your own bedsheet and pillow to stay at the hostel. Because I know not everybody is comfortable with such a condition with no pillow. But trust me! you'll be having only like a 3 hour sleep.

6. Girls  bring some baju kurung, formal I would say.

7. Bring track bottoms. There'd be aerobic session. 

8. I don't know whether this year, you would have to bring all your luggage to USMKK or not. It depends on your flight date. During my time, the difference between the last day of orientation was just a day, so I did bring everything to Kelantan. To ensure your flight dates, please contact MARA (if you have already confirmed to be under its sponsorship)

9. Bring extra money; you might need it to buy food/daily essentials and some books like keusahawanan, etnik etc. 

10. For the medical check up documents, bring everything. Make sure you do blood test. 

11. Prepare mentally and physically. Some facilitators are very mean. I mean very! But I ensure you if I were there, I would be nice with some limits. We are there to train and guide you to be discipline. Everyday, along the orientation; you must wake up at 5 am for Subuh prayer at Murni's mosque. 

12. You've to walk a lot. So don't just chill on the couch and turn into a potato. Do some jog/train your legs. It'd be tiresome. Trust me!

13. Youtube the USM Theme Song, if there's any. You'be asked to sing it ! Some facilitators would be furious if you don't know how it goes. 

I think these are basically all the things you need to do/ need not to bring. Goodluck on MARA application. Pray hard to get it. You will be surprised by the time you're here. But most of us are nice. HEHE. 

>>p/s: These two years; USMKLE students are placed at Nurani Hostel, near to the main gate. So it's easy to get to this place upon reaching the entrance. Please bring offer letter (original copy!) if you don't want to face trouble upon registration. The Nurani's management is very strict. Enjoy your few days of cuti cuti Malaysia. And we'll welcome you with a warm heart to USM. See ya>>






Monday, 1 July 2013

Flowing Water

As the smooth river flows, without halt, till Allah Taala says so, due to drought; did we see the resemblance that we could follow with the flowing river water?

Istiqomah. Another Arabic word I started learning after I joined tarbiyyah. Simply means, continuity in doing our deeds for the deen. Seems easy? Nope it's not.

Being a woman, as for me, I tend to have the phase where I feel very lazy to do my ibadah, and that reckons me that my period of the month will come any minute. But soon after a week of 'break', after the crying of the uterus, suddenly the phase of rejuvenation comes in twine.

You see, our weak hearts are getting weakened by so many forces. By human forces, by environmental forces as well as physiological forces. We thus really in need of Allah, of his mighty words to keep us stand still, stand rigid. If this doesn't happen, guess what will happen? We might dwell with excessive unnecessary thoughts on loneliness, on boredom. But life never is lonely. We have Allah. And the Holy Book, The Quran. But the thing is do we really realize of this?

One method that I found that we should practice is to read, scan, and skim the Quran at least once a day. Come on! If some of us can actually take a big thick novel to read in just a day, why don't we take reading Quran as a habit? Every time after each of our daily five-times prayer? And every good did needs an initiation. Within ourselves, all we have to do, is to push. Set our negative thinking aside and just started doing. Once you gain momentum, voi'la it's becoming easier inshaAllah:)

Istiqomah in waking up early. Also one of my mujahadah. There are so many things we can do once we wake up as early birds. You would able to perform your obligation, the Subuh prayer. You could also wake up for tahajjud if you woke up earlier, you can then strengthening your physique by going to the gym, you can do your laundry, you can cook breakfast, you can perform your dhuha prayer....gosh, the list of things we can do once we wake up early is just endless. I often have hard time waking up early. After subuh, I return to dreamland because the bed is so much a distraction. But after waking up, the feeling of regret is just so big that it halted me to do things I feel I wanna do. At least, nowadays, paying for gym had made me easier to wake up early. At least. This also needs istiqomah. May Allah help me!

A senior has been living and sleeping with me during her study week recently. She saw me burning the midnight oil but still can still wake up early. So she asked me the tip. I told her this: JUST WAKE UP! One day I watched this video from Saudi Arabia in youtube, showing how the shaithon who is beside us, will whisper not to wake up for Fajr Prayer. Wow. That video is really freaking me out hahaha! So just wake up once your alarm rings. Just fight the bad whisperer! But right now I am again facing the problem. Wonder why so tired lately though :(

Istiqomah in becoming the 'superdaie', becoming the one who can bring Islam to another level, in other words the Muslims who give momentum to dakwah is harder. Because to start dakwah, we are doing it in troops, in a group. We need a whole set of togetherness, we need to really understand the concept of ukhwah, being good to each other who are in the same path as us, but as time goes by; it's hard to be husnozon. Husnuzon, means to ONLY think the best of others. What they do, what they say; you must think of no evil. Even if you do, you must then istighfar. But trust me, we are humans, and we do prejudice. We make assumptions, and to be a good daie' is how far you can resist those evil whispers. I am trying hard. So just keep praying that we all can resist the nastiness of the worldly evils. 

And just today, in a session of usrah, the leader of my group was feeling a bit down. Because one of our member who already knew we had a sitting session; went for a movie instead. Peer pressure that is. But then, who to be blamed? I mean we are now adults. We can think what best for us. But my leader (naqibah) kept thinking that because our usrah is a bore that made another member feels it's okay to skip the sitting for a movie. It was a stern long hour of discussion. I hate stern discussion but it feels sad, when our own naqibah is starting to becoming disheartened. It's so hard when every body just loses their momentum. But what should we do now? What should I do? 

Being in another level; whereby we wanna get closer to Allah. To becoming HIS agent for dakwah is certainly not a mere task. It needs perseverance and a lot of patience. We lack of these. Also, we lack of the sense of Ukhwah; togetherness. We judge a lot. We judge if someone prefer to not go for a sitting once, that her heart might has mislead. Or she might have gone wrong somewhere in her mind. We lack of Husnuzon; thinking of just the best of others. And we tend to only treat our other sisters who are in the dakwah path good, but when one of them do not want to join; we tend to treat her like a stranger. And what is this??? I am seeing all these. Plus, we lack the sense of humanity when we speak. We aren't cautious enough while we speak. We hurt others without we realize. 

We go for daurah/long journey of sisters meeting without telling others the purpose; we put exclamation on their heads rather than telling our true intention. We are basically making Islam a very hard religion. A very complex part of life. Somehow this is really what I see these days. Somehow or rather this is why; we lack of attraction as sisters/brothers in Islam in portraying the best Islamic view towards our peers, towards people around us. We lack of that virtue. Now reflect. Before giving others words of tarbiyah; set our mind, am I good enough to preach? Am I good enough for people to really understand Islam through me? If people see me, would they say that I am a good Muslim? Play people's hearts are best with characters. But yet; we keep thinking what we did are good enough. The answer is always a NO. In dakwah, there's never good enough. Because it's never as easy. 



>>p/s: Before blaming others for not understand, for not understanding our so called 'Priority for the Deen'; lets together reflect the mistakes we had made and thoroughly correcting them. Wallahualam<<








Reality USMKLE for freshies

Less than 3 weeks will I suffer from my examination syndrome, Selanjar 2, is looming. Preparation is under the progress. Can't say how fast or slow the speed is, only Allah could tell.

In addition, the year 2 is gonna be seniors soon. We didn't quite feel of being a senior this year, since most of the first years are of our age (21 years/born in 1992) so the next new semester will be full of fun. Hahaha

Some things I need to clarify here, about this medical institution where I am in. It is called USMKLE IMP Belgaum, India. Again, it's NOT Belgium. Although, there's winter around December; this place is far beyond Belgium. And chocolates. But the people are variation of 'chocolates' , if you know what I meant. :P

This year, only one person approached me to ask regarding USMKLE, also a cyber friend, by which her brother is considering to come to USMKLE too. I hope this helps by any means. 

1. Common question: Is USMKLE differ in any ways from USMKK? 

-Answer: Yes. Of course, when it's two different places; you HAVE TO EXPECT for differences. When I mention about differences, there are; the teaching staff. In USMKK, the teaching staff are abundant. But most of them are also practicing doctors, so they are super duper busy. I've heard stories from friends at USMKK, that even during PBL (group discussion), the conducting lecturers couldn't show up because they have to attend wards session/surgery or alike. 

It is different in USMKLE. Our teaching stuff, is not Malaysians of course, except for Prof Kamaruddin Jalam (Prof KJ) who is also our Deputy Dean and some short courses lecturers that came all the way from Kampus Induk, to teach Bahasa Melayu, Etnik and Tamadun Islam. By far only Bahasa Melayu is being conducted in a class session for 2 weeks. That sometimes, it will be out of the class schedule so students should bear in mind that, they have to sacrifice time during weekends, during holidays like raya haji to accommodate these classes. HAHAHA. so enjoy!


And in USMKLE, there haven't been much cases where doctors cannot attend us for teaching session like SGD (small group discussion) in first year or PBL in year 2 and 3. Only this year alone, there have been 4 classes postpone from their original schedule. But for SGS and PBL, there are always substitute teachers/lecturers.

NO difference. Since, we will be graduated with the same MD USM title. :D And going for convocation in Kampus Induk (Penang) LOL. 

2. What's so special? 

-The cadavers! Being first year, what you can enjoy is having the cadavers to learn anatomy. Everyone should have known India, is abundant of cadavers so yeah, so does USMKLE. 12 students and one teaching lecturer per cadaver, is good enough to have hands on experience with the dead body's muscles, bones and organs. Just need to be brave. Use this benefit well because anatomy will be again recollected in year 2,3 and till you die!!

Classes on weekends. Yes people! You only have Sunday for a break (except in Year 2 where sometimes the weekends also include Saturdays). Meaning, on Saturday, you'll be embarking yourself with classes. Enjoy!

Co-curicullar activities are somewhat different. In USMKK, students can choose variety of activities, sports, cultural and even language classes as minor courses. But for USMKLE, since it's still new, and the community is not that big (lesser students), some programmes/activities in USMKK will not be held here. 

As for now, we only have Samudra. It's a sports and cultural event for USMKLE students. More like rumah sukan in schools. Games held are like: Badminton, Pingpong, Basketball, Netball, Futsal, Baling Selipar, Galah Panjang, Volleyball and other field tracts events like sprinting etc.

We also have Discover programme conducted by the Sports Bureau; it's out of Belgaum activity. For hiking and camping and other extreme sports/activities.

The bureau also came out with the Kembara programme, Bon Voyage it's called. To promote USMKLE to the world. It's like you plan with a group of at least two members for a voyage abroad and made a video out of the experience and share your experience here with friends studying abroad. But all the expenses are self-initiated of course!

This year, we started to have inter-university competitions: we participated in Legenda Games in Manipal. Interacting with students from Melaka Manipal College MMC as well as those from MSU Bangalore, and other universities around the same states. (of India)

Last year, there was Trinity by JNMC. It is held once in two years. It's for sports and cultural games too. Some of my friends won prizes in the competitions held. It was a fun exposure. 



But I can also tell you that there are some similarities. For instance

1. The schedule: Similar but not the same. Probably the classes in USMKK is lesser than what we have here. I don't know why but that happens. But we share the common public holidays like holidays for deepavali, for raya haji, for post selanjar/pro (big examinations) and of course aidilfitri break.  USMKLE however, also runs for a break during common Indian celebrations which are so many. You come here you will know.

2. Examinations are conducted simultaneously. For big exams like Selanjar (Continuous Assessments) and Pro Exams. Together with Bahasa Melayu, English as well as Etnik. 

3. Students still need to complete the project on business and management (Keusahawanan) and Etnik on the contra of Religion within the date given.

4. Still under the supervision of the board of Governors of USM. Means students still have to abide to certain rules made by USM like curfew hours, and not allowed to have a motorcycle/scooter.

5. Students are welcomed to join with friends in USMKK, in events/programmes like PPSL (facilitating orientation week for the juniors in USMKK) and others if not interrupting with normal schedules of teaching.

6. Students HAVE to work for MyCSD. Merit points for their profiles. But unlike in USMKK, where students have to collect it in order to secure a place in the campus for hostels; USMKLE students are needed to collect this points as to add up to degree marking point. Not for hostel purposes. To get these points; for USMKLE students; abundant events/activities/programmes by the institute could help if you are eager enough to participate.

Hostel and accommodation and facilities

We are now living in a lavish, huge USM Hostel. But it's without single room. You can apply for single room, but have to pay extra (as if you are a two person). The fees for a double room cost 900 USD meanwhile for single it may come up to USD 1800. 

The room comes with a big window (very efficient for ventilation), a small pantry, where you can cook and store your food, furnished with big desk (workstation), equipped with Ethernet LAN (for internet cable), beds etc. Also, each room is having one bathroom. No more sharing of bathrooms like what our friends in USMKK are enduring :P


The hostel is also a walking distance from the USMKLE campus. But don't make it an excuse to come late for classes :P Oh and other thing is that don't expect this hostel is perfect in every sense. It's new, so the building isn't fully completed. You might stumbled upon the Indian workers here and there. 


For facilities: We have a laundry space with washing machines at the basement, together with our cafe where we called it MESS, and also a small counter of bakery Kake Walk that sells cakes, muffins and pastries. Not to mention, we have a spacious gymnasiums. For boys and girls hostel that is. And the fees for 6 months gym subscription is just RS1800. 


SOUL/Kerohanian: There's a musolah at the basement, we called it Az Zumar. And many religious sharing are being conducted there. 

Clinicals:

USM syllabus brings students to the clinical world as early as 2nd year. For phase 2 (Year 2 and 3), we have one session of clinical per week. It's according to the module/block learn in a particular period. We are now using the benefit of Prabakar Kore KLE Hospital which is a walking-distance hospital for clinical teaching/bedside teachings. 

Students at this phase must master/know Kannada or Hindi at the very least; for the purpose of communicating with the patients. Mind you that patients DO NOT comprehend English (very lucky if you get one). We have a clinical book that serves as a reference to communicate with the patients. That helps. Also, we have one Kannada/Hindi class a week. The class is fun because the teacher is fun, but can be very annoying because Kannada isn't fun to learn. Very hard language for me :(

At this phase, students must master the art of taking history out of the patients, and present it (case presentation) in front of the doctors allocated for each group. Don't pee in your pants just yet because this can be very nerve wrecking !!

 In phase 3, when you passed PRO 2, most of the time is allocated in hospitals. And USMKLE is gonna have its own teaching hospital soon, but it's not near. Around 10 minutes from the hostel and the campus. Gonna be super tiring in true clinical years! 


>>p/s: That's all I can write now. Sleepy...ask me more because I might forgot to add some points here. <<







Saturday, 22 June 2013

Love At First Sight

'Engine starto' and I don't know why in Japanese language, alike Kannada, has to add another vowel to the pre-existing English words hahahaha! 

It was the emergency team of a renowned hospital in Japan. It has been noted to all the emergency team that there is a call from a town call Kyoto, a bit far from Tokyo. All the doctors rush to help whatever case it might be. It is always a game for the emergency team. The case might as well be as serious as someone has been hit by an avalanche or as simple as someone being beat up by some mafia gang. Whatever it is, they must be impromptu!

The helicopter boarded off. Kids seeing it in the air, flying proudly, were running across the field following its path but could never catch up. As the helicopter landed, the emergency team ran with all their might to see what's wrong and who's the victim. 

It's a 40 year old something man. There was a blow on his head. Bleeding profusely. However, nothing seems like something fell on his head. The wife of that victim was asked how it had happened. "I threw an ashtray and it landed on his forehead, accidentally," she said. How lovely.

It was suspected after further investigations and physical examination that the victim now suffered from a hematoma in his brain. It must be removed but then again complications in medicine are always something people has to adhere to. Even a million-worth of treatment can lead to serious complications. Oh God why?

The victim's wife was walking to and fro at the aisle of the waiting corner. She was worried sick. But she was the one who threw the ashtray. She regrets it now. One of the attending doctors came to see her. Explaining what she should be informed of. The couple then needed counseling on which treatment they would prefer to continue. 

And so, these two couples sat next to each other, confronting 3 doctors in a meeting room. The victim and his bandaged head looks as if he never knew the woman sitting beside him. His wife tried hard to console him, putting her hand over his arm, but the victim quickly pulled his arm away. It was obvious that the two is having some marriage mishaps.

Dr Satoshi explained everything about the hematoma. Now the treatment is either, to remove and would lead to a serious complication of loosing a memory. Another, is to just repair the vessels, but the tumor could grow, and the patient might die. They must agree to at least one. And the doctors aren't persuasive of neither.

Outside the meeting room, as the victim was about to be sent to his bed in his wheelchair, he looked at his wife and say; "I bet you are happy now aren't you. I hope I never knew you"

His wife cried on the spot. Who wouldn't. And she ran away without ever being stopped by her husband.

Dr Satoshi went to see his wife. Asking what's the matter with both of them. And whether or not, they had made any decision upon which treatment they would like to proceed with. 

The wife who was sitting and holding her paper cup containing cold coffee; again cries. 

"You know, sir...he was different" suddenly she uttered.

The doctor looked at her...with the most pitiful face.

"After a day that we met, my husband, he...asked me whether I would be with him forever. He kneel and I still remember how his knees were shaking badly...."

"He also said that he never saw anyone prettier than me...but now..."

"And...so the ashtray you threw at him..." asked Dr Satoshi

"He was always returning home very late...maybe he has someone else"

"He said he is bored with me"...and she cried more.



2 days passed, and now the couple finally decided. The husband wanted to remove the hematoma. Regardless the complication of losing his memory, he said that it would be the best. The wife followed his wish; although deep down inside; she's in deep pain. Deep pain knowing her husband would rather loses all his memory of them together.

While the victim was about to be brought to the surgical theatre, his wife was there to follow.

"No! Don't come with me!" demanded the husband.

His wife who was holding his hand, drew away hers. She cried.

Before the victim was anesthetic-ally put into sleep , he told the doctor something.

"Sir...could you please tell my wife I love her?"
 The doctor just smiled and nodded.



Fortunately, the surgery was a success. The victim was conscious three days later. But he lost all his memories. His wife acted normal. When she came...after recovering from her sadness, she stood a little bit far from her husband. Worried that he might again hurt her. Hurt her heart. 

When her husband saw her...he asked the nurse to bring him closer to his wife.

"Miss...do I know you?"

"Because, I think I saw you somewhere, yesterday maybe?"

The wife became perplexed. 

"Would you be with me....? Although I've only known you since yesterday?"

And his knees were shaking....


The wife cried...once more,

Memory of them in the past might have lost, but they are regaining NEW ones. How exciting.


>>p/s: We are not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again :) <<










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Sunday, 2 June 2013

Emotional and backstabbers

Life has always been a lot happier when you don't really care about people around you. Especially those who don't appreciate you. Who don't even look at brighter side of you, instead keep on pointing and seeing the negative side of you. 

I myself was too immersed with those kind of people; was too caring, was too over the board because perhaps my intention to be looked upon to by others; had led me to somehow a sober life. A much devastating kind of life. Because by then I thought, in university, I have to go all out. To be much of a person who speak a lot even though my nature is not that way. But that was proven to be wrong. It all backfired at me.

Just recently there was a seminar going on. We have lots of seminars these days; students are happening to be lecturers to other students. And of course, I like to comment on things. For me, especially being a back bencher, it would be so frustrating seeing my colleagues who were giving the seminar making such a boring looking presentation slide. And for me, colors do attract my attention life span. I don't know about others but this is true for most people. Colors affect our mood too. And thanks to my aggressive-used for twitter, I posted something which eventually butthurted a colleague of mine. Butthurt is simply the best word to describe how this person reacted toward my criticism. I wasn't intended to be rude at all. But he bashed me all the way because I wasn't mentioning him and accused me of mengumpat. 

Here's one thing to people becoming too emotional over some lame tweets or status or whatever it is on social media: if I were to mengumpat, I will not be that direct in twitter. I wasn't mentioning him because my tweet was focusing on a general group of people. To all my colleagues, people who follow me in twitter and to myself. If you ever make a seminar again, presenting your product for instance to a particular audience; a boring color slide will make people to doze off. Well this is an absolute truth!

I did a mistake when I mentioned his slide to be of cow dung green color that made me all sleepy. He said it's not because of the slide making me sleepy but I was sleepy myself. Haha. Not positive enough to take that criticism than okay. But don't accuse people of mengumpat. God knows whoever who do more of the mengumpat stuff. As for myself, it's a reminder that not everybody will be OKAY with that sort of judgement of saying cow dung green, or duck poop gray. (Hijau tahi lembu atau kelabu tahi itik). It is normal in my family to describe colors like that. And when I mentioned that, and because I thought that friend who was presenting was cool enough to denote of that description; I thought it's okay to mention about it. My guess is all wrong. Now everyone's bashing me. Oh dayana stop doing it ! You're doing this all the time. Oh please! Like you never comment over things. And I just made a GENERAL STATEMENT. And you just being a freaking emotional brader! (*I thought boys are cooler here, guess they're not)

And I simply despised the person who actually forwarded that general statement of mine to that friend who didn't quite satisfied over my criticism about the color of his presentation's slide. For what ever reason he did that I simply can't brain it off. But what I know, he's trying to look good in front of others. And that is simply devastating. 

Whatever it is I had apologize for my mistake for thinking that everyone's here is my friend who I can make joke, describe colors like that-like I used to do in my family. Guess I am all wrong. A person do not simply make people as their friends I assumed. And guess, I am not even 'welcomed' to joke around. Perhaps, they like the serious me. The serious all gloomy dayana. Yeahhh...


>>p/s: some people don't like you. and some are just freaking emotional. and you yourself must just ignore and apologize. But beware of rotten ones; some people appear nice in front of you; on the contrary they are just as bad that you can't put trust onto them. Life. Just accept it.<<