The Entity

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Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia
Assalamualaikum. Writing all the way from Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Missing Malaysia so much. But everything is just perfectly fine here. India makes people not just live, but SURVIVE. :)

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And remember, it always rain hard for those who deserve The Sun. :)

Monday, 28 February 2011

dulu dan sekarang.

"You're your school's top student kan?" asked Prof Ahmad this morning....

"Kinda....", I replied...

"Then how come simple mathematics divisions pun masih slow lagi"...He said..

I was like....tu dulu, sekarang takk...

T.T


>>>p/s: UiTM ranked the 1133 in the world's best university. And USM is the best in our country at 629th rank in the world. Well, does it matter? <<<

Sunday, 27 February 2011

Love ?





Spinocereberall Degeneration Disease

Who else here have watched the drama series narrated from a true story called 'One Litre of Tears'? I watched it first about two years ago, during highschool and had not finished watching because of school affairs, but now I did watched it again, and yes, it caused me to burst into even a few more litre of tears!

Cerita ni serious sedih. Who don't believe me, give it a shot. A story narrated from a true tale, regarding a girl who was diagnosed for having spinocerebral disease at the age of 15. And what is the disease about anyway? Well, it's involves the spinal cord and the cerebellum, which both are the important parts of the brain that control and coordinate movements of limbs and also organ functions. So, at these parts, locate the important brain cells, which we called neurons. 

Neurons like what I know, learning from Biology, are cells that transmit electrical signals, or impulses regarding responses for the brain to integrate and decides on further reflexes. But, as for this very disease, the cerebellum shrinks slowly, causing the neurons to be degenerated and thus die. This eventually, in a long run, leading to the disability for the victim, to have his or her body functions normally. T.T And the tragic part of this disease is that it is incurable. But, I guess by 2011, we already have the cure, which is the transplant of neuron's stem cells. Hhahaha. They perhaps, didn't know the usage of stem cells back then.

So, back to track, the story revolves around the life of Ikeuchi Aya, who is a bright 15 year-old girl. She's beautiful, pretty, smart, hardworking, pleasant, and always being optimistic. However, suddenly, she showed a sudden changes, whereby she always fell down, trip and couldn't hold things tight. And during her first date, when she and her date were about to cross over the road, she couldn't move and balanced her body, thus, falling straight right on the head. She bleeds. And whenever she fell, she couldn't hold her body and avoid falling by using her hands, so she cuts terribly. These were the signs of something wrong, and her mother brought her to the hospital, whereby a MRI was done, and the result showed positive Spinocerebral disease. Her mother cried of terrified. 

And at 15, it was the last time, that Aya, who was an active girl, could run here and there freely, and joined the basketball team. She was the shooter and the best player there is. Everyone cheered for her and that's was basically the last moment of her glorious day. Soon, her legs became harder to move and therefore she had hard time walking. She had to go for rehabilitation every day during summer and when she came back to school, she was not walking normally. Everyone glared at her strangely, but she was strong enough to blindfold her eyes over those glare and stood still carving a smile everytime she sees people. But later on, days after days, her body worsen. She couldn't write properly and fast as she could before. Hence, the teachers had too pace the syllabus down, just because of her. Her friends were late to classes everyday because they had to help her out and causing troubles for the whole class with their classes. She became a burden, but she never gives up!

PTA meeting was up one day. Parents bugging on the matter of Aya who became a burden in that classes. Everyone wishes for Aya to leave for disability school, but, Aya's okaasan (mother), told them how the school meant a lot for her daughter. Every day, Aya would come to school with a big smile because she knew she had a lot of friends to keep her company. The school bring about so many rejoice memories of her and her friends, and she didn't wanna leave it. But, many parents didn't care for all that, as they too wanna the best for their kids. The next day, the new class president, brought up the matter once again with the homeroom teacher. Aya who was outside, heard the class' conversation and cried. She knew she had became a burden, but she never knew that her friends too had hard time helping her.

Thus, she decided to leave that school and go for disability school. Her disease showed somehow an unexpected fast progression. She felt that it is harder to walk, and soon harder to talk. And, she continued living for another 5 years bedridden because of her disfunction body and died but leaving with numerous diaries. Diaries of what she felt and what she wanna tell people and the words were written by her, with so much effort. She was only left with the ability to write until she died at 25


Well, she did fell in love in this series, with her classmate. And this boy who first thought that becoming a doctor was stupid just because one is intelligent, ending up going for medical school to be one. Hahahaha. And the reason why he wanted to be a doctor was because, he hoped to find a cure for the disease which Aya had. Lol. Almost like A Walk To Remember. 

I learn that, life is precious. And it is more precious because we have family who cares and the healthy body to help us keep on living. Take good care of everything we have now and treasure each one of them, because life is unexpected. One day we might be the luckiest person we knew, but on the other day, we might lose everything that we used to have. Aya was tested because God knew she was strong enough. God knew she could be a person who could boost other people's spirit of living. During the time when she was 18, hearing her friends going for colleges, and mingling around happily, brought about some envy feeling in her. She wished she could learn more and attend life more. And, at the end of the diary, she wrote: 'Okasan, will I be able to get married?' And finished it up by the two words 'Thank You'. Her diaries were then published and sold over 18 million copies up until now, in Japan.

>>p/s: seriously, mengantuk jer kebelakangan ni....<<<

Friday, 25 February 2011

Bersyukurla

Just finished reading Ariffshah's post regarding an ungrateful parent, whom his kid, was sent to Moscow to pursue medicine. You can read it on your own here. And, please read it very carefully.

This pak cik, wrote a letter concerning that Russia is a mundur country and lacking the expertise to produce First Class doctors. I heard the same thing since early last year, and well, couldn't be surprised. This old guy, wrote how his kid in Russia, feeling miserable and lost the spirit to study, because of the negative publicities arousing over their studies over there. 

He also posted that, there's a hidden agenda behind the reason why Malaysia, especially MARA to send good students to pursue medicine at Russia. And, he was really worried regarding this matter, since he had signed up a RM 600 K contract with Mara to send his kid there. He doesn't want his kid to graduate as 2nd class doctors.


Then came, a reply from an anynomous called Pelajar Marah from Moscow too. The person replied, with an angry tone, that, the pak cik and his kid, should be grateful under any circumstances since they can be considered lucky enough to have been given the chance to do undergraduate studies overseas. Russia on the other hand, is not mundur at all! Well, Pelajar Marah replied by saying, how can Russia be considered as Mundur when it has the fastest Internet Connection in the world!? Even our beloved country which we often said as MAJU, always have problems regarding secure-smooth Internet line. Hahhaa. Think Twice. And the system of education at Russia is different, even for clinical training for the medical students are conducted differently compared to locally. And, even if the kid can write and speak a little in Russia, well, fret yes, that the knowledge is still below an edge over many different dialects of the language itself, and therefore do not be surprise if one has trouble to understand the courses taught. 

This is probably the tenth time did I hear bad things about studying medicine in Russia. But, why in fright? Don't you see that, once you are there, and got the chance to study, using the MARA MONEY, you should then be grateful enough? The post by the pak cik seriously giving me a sense of hatred towards some typical malaysian mindset over smallest matters. Every country you go, there's a different way of studying things and applying things, so why so worried? Many fresh doctors from Russia, couldn't perform well? Then they should have learn from those who are better once they are here. Everything needs to be learn. AND being a medical doctor, is one of the many careers that implies LIFELONG LEARNING. 

You see, for those who got the chance to study overseas, STOP MUTTERING. Some of us, in the country who mainly didn't get the chance to get the same opportunity, have to struggle real hard to get to medical schools. Everything needs to be learn, even though not everything we learn will be applied later in the undergraduate program. Places locally are limited, and there are so many competitors here and there to get the same thing, while those who are already some steps away from being a doctor, like those in Russia and overseas, should be thankful, and just think for a sec, what if you guys are in our shoes! 

I am tired listening to whining and muttering, and ungratefulness of the many luckier persons who thought they aren't lucky enough! Stop blaming the country for sending you guys to where you guys hate. Accept the fact and just adapt to it. Life need to be endured strongly and not pathetically blaming things around.

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Chemistry Test II 2011

Today marked another sign that asasi gonna end. Yahoo! I am bored seriously of studying. How am I gonna go for degree if I continue being lazy? But, maybe this happens because of many works to finish up and many formulas to be memorized.

Ended test 2 for chemistry 2 hours ago. To be frank, I won't comment on anything. I don't think the questions were hard, they were just merely tricky, which suited our level as foundation students. Miss Hikamah, the Chemistry tutor of mine, reminded us yesterday to get high marks for the paper, and that add more to the stress. Shoot!

Buffer is something that I need to concentrate more after this. In a sudden, I completely forgot, the formula to find for buffer pH, got mixed up with other formula, and I was clueless whether to put pKa at the right side or the left. T.T and this marked how pathetic I am in the topic, so better brushing it all up.

Now, it's time for 2 hours-sleepy physics lecture. I hate late afternoon classes, because I seriously couldn't fight against my pineal gland's tendency to secrete melatonin, in which defines, the over secretion of sleep enzymes. Lol. Physics is getting trickier and just sooo confusing. I need help =.=

>>>P/S: to go home or not to go this week. But I wanna go home so badly!¬<<<

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

its tomorrow, next week and the next one week

3 weeks la to go. hehehe. for the finale. I am like having premature contractions in the heart. Lol. Seriously, banyak gila stuff that needed to be stuffed inside the brain, but just pray for strength, and good memories. After all, not everything we learn in Asasi is gonna to be applied in the degree we're about to take. This is fact, told by many who had encountered the same thing.

Tomorrow Chemistry Test. On Monday, it gonna be Physics, Mathematics on following Tuesday and Biology on Thursday. Test II fnishes next week, insyaAllah. Have to struggle harder, because damn I flunked on the last time, and this give me a sign of fright. 

Saya dah mandi, segar-bugar, dan kelas ended early. How I love Wednesday. Sadly, today, there's no chance to watch movies with the comrades. Everyone is under stressful condition. Me too to add up. Planned to see lecturers to ask questions, but then again something came up. And the plans became just plainly plans. Now better not talking to the blog, and started revising chemistry. T.T

Anyhow, goodluck for all asasians fighters for tomorrow. Many of them here are awesome. And, Goodluck too for the finale a week after the test. Let's everyone wear batik on the last FINALE-exam day, shall we?

>>>p/s: enough coupon collected. and it's another week of lecture and tutorials. is this sad?<<<

Friday, 18 February 2011

Between Relevence and Dream Big

The farther I lead this life, the more I lost hope. Which is the most significant? Living because we wanna go high up for our big dreams, or just pursue relevances that would not necessarily makes ourselves feeling content? 

Life is short, live with your dream. Easier say than done. But what if we dream to be something, yet, NOT GIFTED to pursue the dream. Or in other words not destined? Now, which one is the true idea about life? 
Tell me?

Schools were a lot easier than todays. All you could have been thinking of is the fact that you could one day, if you study hard, excel well, and could easily go and lead to the life that you wanted. I was once like that. Been fooled by the fiction of study hard and could get what you wanted. But, mind if I remind you again, that everything was a lie. And teachers lie. So, conclusion; EVERYBODY LIES. Stick with it.

Mom got these bunches of friends, whom their sons and daughters are mostly graduated doctors, and certified of course. These ladies, told my mom how the basic life routines of their kids who are now medical doctors. Among the stories, she heard many of the rotten ones. Bad stories and dark stories, which she then passed them to me, to actually make me realize how bad on becoming one. To cut short, my confidence was been tearing apart. 

So, now where I am heading to? Either the decision of standing up for my words, for my dreams or either taking the other route which is safer but will I have no content for? If you were in my pyjamas, which would you choose?